Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK Prisoners 4/10

So afraid I brought you guys way down with the last part, so thought I'd post the next one quickly, which I think will shine a bit of hope on things.

Ah, Clark finally fessed up and Henderson's on his side.

Sorry I didn't respond to part 3, but I enjoyed that part as well as this.

Never mind the fact that he was the one to take her life to begin with...

Nicely put!

Aha! I figured Henderson would twig on to that sooner rather than later.

That is pretty strong, albeit circumstantial, evidence.

What a perfect, in-character, reaction.

Henderson better be glad he's not a villain; otherwise, Clark's confession would guarantee that he'd be dead by the end of the story just as much as a red shirt would guarantee a security guard's death in Star Trek.

Interesting that Henderson is calling Clark Superman even though he is out of the Suit. Does that mean that the inspector thinks that the Clark Kent persona is just a disguise, with the "real" persona being Superman?

Thanks for posting part four so soon. Now I'm awaiting part five.

Joy,
Lynn

On. Edge. Of. Chair.

Excellent story

I'm wondering about Henderson. For some reason I think he would be more subtle, and would talk in circumlocutions that could be misunderstood by anyone who is viewing the closed circuit TV footage of Clark and Henderson's interrogation room.

I could see Henderson hinting at it, Clark reluctant at first, Henderson coming out a little bit more, and then Clark, well, not denying it, in such a fashion that Henderson would consider it a confirmation. But nothing would be said overtly.

Sorry - this is just the way I picture Henderson. Given that they are in a prison, and there is lots of surveillance, I'm not sure that Clark would be so open with his admission.

Just my $0.02.

Like IA, I had some of those thoughts about someone overhearing Henderson and Clark, but he is in jail awaiting trial, not prison yet, so I assumed that Henderson found a more private room for their talk than a regular interview room would be. ??? Otherwise, it was very unwise for Clark and Henderson to have that talk out loud.

Ah, I see what you guys mean... I don't watch enough Law & Order apparently. I'll be sure to make it more convincing before I submit it to the archives (Clark scanning the double mirror? --see? I don't even know what it's called!!-- and Henderson will confirm about the closed circuit tv somehow...)

I knew this story would get me in trouble, one way or another...

Thanks for the feeedback!

I'm just catching up on this story now ... definitely an interesting twist on The Phoenix! I'm intrigued and hooked!

I'm glad the bond is in play and that Clark is sensing Lois again; without it, I'm not sure he would have bothered to fight back. Seeing her killed in front of him was clearly very traumatic. *hugs Clark*

Like others have said, I would have liked to see a bit more about Henderson taking steps to make sure no one could overhear them in the interview room. Perhaps all you need to add, though, is a line or two about him referencing those actions, assuring Clark that he'd ensured they were talking in private, then maybe having Clark scan the room for camera and microphones to verify his story. I really like that Henderson knows -- I've always thought he was one smart cookie and a good person to have on Clark's side.

One thing that confused me, though. I understand about there originally not being bail because it's a murder case, but between Lex's fingerprints on the knife and the photo, why isn't Clark being released all together? Definitely sounds like reasonable doubt to me, and it seems like his fancy DP lawyer isn't very good if he's not jumping on this as a way to at least get him out on bail. In fact, I'd expect the lawyer to be pressuring the police/DA about not having a strong enough case to hold his client and demand that the charges be dropped. Might not be successful, but I keep finding myself wondering what this hotshot lawyer that the DP hired is doing to earn his money.

Looking forward to part 5!

Kathy

This is just me, but you could look at the conversation between Clark and Henderson like a dance. Each are approaching each other and backing away with their words. Weaving around the same idea: Clark is Superman. I don't know if that could help or not, but as a writer, that scenario could help me have fun writing the dialogue between the two. I agree with the others that it would be really risky of Clark to come outright and admit his dual identity, so have some salsa dancing mixed in that charges the atmosphere.

Henderson is baiting Clark with his theories, which I like. And I like his charge of emotion when Clark tries to swerve around his outright claim of him being superman. I think metaphors would be fun for you to have Henderson use. Before he gets angry enough at Clark's avoidance of his main theory, and is therefore reduced to having to say it in plain words, he could suggest to Clark that "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, if you get my drift." Or "Seems there are two peas in the same pod." Or something like that.

I hope these suggestions take no offense. It is only meant for the intention to make your story stronger. I like the plotline that you have going! I'm curious to see how Clark is going to figure out a way to "break out of jail," as it were

Not to denigrate past comments at all. All points made are interesting and credible.

Nonetheless, the scene flowed perfectly for me. I loved it as it was.