Come on…Come on…Pick up the phone, pick up the---DAD! Oh, thank heaven. Listen, I’ve got a little problem…
…No, there’s no Kryptonite involved. At least, I don’t think he has any…
…That’s what I wanted to tell you. There’s a strange man here; he’s dressed kind of funny and he has a bowler hat, and he says his name is H.G. Wells…
Yeah, that’s what I said.
…I said that, too.
Anyway, he showed up at the Planet and asked if I was Clark Kent, and I when I said “Yes,” he started talking about time travel and other universes…Yeah, I figured as much, but there’s more: Dad, he knows about…you know...*Superman*.
Well, he didn’t come right out and say that, but he kind of looked at me knowingly and said that my origins were “out of this world.”
Yes…Yes, he’s still there. I told him I needed to make a phone call, and then ducked into the conference room…What?
*sigh* Sure, I guess so; I know he’s just going to grab the phone anyway, so you might as well---Hi, Gramps.
I was just telling Dad, this guy showed up claiming he was H.G. Wells and---oh, you heard. So what should I do?
…What?! Why *wouldn’t* I be worried about it? He knows who I am and where I work, he apparently knows about Superman; aren’t you even at least *a little* concerned about all this?!”
….
Yes, Gramps, I *know* you punched Hitler in the face. What does that have to do with---?
…Uh huh…
Well, I can’t just punch a little British guy in the face, Gramps. Especially in front of all---
…Uh huh.
Yeah, yeah, I *get* it, but it’s still very upsetting, Gramps. I mean, Trish came over to remind me to pick up something on the way home, and he freaked out and started asking where “Miss Lane” was, and I don’t even know who the heck “Miss Lane” is and---
What?
…It is?! Huh. For some reason, I always thought she was Irish.
…Well you can’t expect me to know my grandmother’s maiden name off the top of my head, Gramps…
Oh, for--! The only reason I know *hers* is because it was a question on a credit card application…
…I Do Not!
Yes, I know you punched Hitler in the face!
Look, can we get back to the reason I called? The wacko English guy who may or may not be a threat?
Have you not been listening?! Look, Gramps; he said he wants to take me away in his Time Machine and---
…Look, is it so much to ask for you to come by and---?
…I Am Not!
Look---Gramps, look---will you please put my dad back on the phone?
Great!
Dad, I---
--what? No! Don’t hang up! I need---
*SIGH*
**********
So, Mister….Wells, was it? You were saying about a time machine?
