Chapter Nine
Euboea’s office door slowly opened and she looked up to identify her visitor. She smiled thinly at Cydippe, who did not return the silent greeting. “Good day to you, Cydippe,” Euboea drawled. “And what urgent business has brought you so deep into the palace bureaucracy today?”
Cydippe’s expression didn’t change. “I have a message for you, Captain of the Palace Guard.”
“Oh, a royal message, no doubt. From the Royal Princess, I presume?”
“Yes. She bids me to request from you a preparation.”
Euboea’s eyebrow lifted. “Perhaps this message should be delivered to Epione. A healer such as she would be more qualified to give you a preparation.”
“It is not that kind of preparation, Captain.”
“Very well. What kind is it?”
Cydippe took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Princess Diana requests that you, Euboea, Captain of the Amazonian Guard, prepare a place for the Challenge of the Wiles between Princess Diana and her opponent.”
Euboea nodded. “Very well. Who is the opponent?”
“An outsider.”
Euboea’s unaffected demeanor vanished like fog in a flame. “What? Diana is challenging an outsider for a man’s affection?”
“Yes.”
Euboea nearly burst out with an imprecation aimed at the Princess, but at the last moment she bit her tongue. One had to be careful in what one said concerning that person. Diana did not always understand that surprise sometimes wrung words from a woman which she would not have spoken in a calmer moment.
So Euboea paused and took a deep breath of her own. “You do not appear all giddy with excitement over this development.”
“On the contrary, Captain, I am overcome with delirium.”
The flat declaration almost made Euboea laugh. “Very well. We can use the Isle of Husbands for this contest. There is a suitable venue just outside the village, and since it is not considered part of – ”
“No.”
“What? What do you mean? Where else might the Challenge of the Wiles be held?”
“The contest must take place on Themyscira.”
Euboea frowned. “That is not possible. You know that no man may set foot on our homeland. Despite our beloved Queen’s reformist bent, that law has not been altered.”
“No, it has not. But this contest will not reduce the Princess to the level of a lover begging for affection from a mere male. This will be the ancient Challenge of the Wiles, Captain. The man’s presence is not required.”
“What?” Now Euboea was all but undone. She would have leaped to her feet had she not been all but paralyzed by the shock. “You cannot be serious! Hippolyta would never authorize such a contest! Not even for her eldest daughter!”
“Clio is even now publishing the queen’s proclamation. The challenge has been authorized and will take place within seven days. Probably much sooner, if the Princess’ plans unfold as she envisions.”
“But – we cannot prepare the arena so quickly! We are too far along in the preparation for the Feast of the Elders!”
“The princess is aware of this. She has suggested that an area of sandy beach be cleared of rocks and shrubs for use as the combat arena.”
Euboea crossed her muscular arms and glared at Cydippe. “You and your princess have given this a great deal of thought, have you not?”
Cydippe hesitated, then cut her eyes in either direction before lowering her voice and leaning closer. “I will tell you privately, Euboea, that Diana did not plan this contest beforehand. It has become an unfortunate necessity in our endeavor. And I will deny uttering those words should anyone ask me.”
Euboea smiled crookedly. “So the Princess is not infallible in her foresight and endless planning, eh? She has been thwarted, and now she seeks to force her own way.”
Cydipppe’s face cleared. “Believe what you will, Captain. Just have the site of the conflict prepared for the arrival of Diana, Princess of Themyscira, within three days. The contest will take place as soon as possible after as she arrives with her opponent.”
With that veiled command, Cydippe turned and strode away. Euboea sat still for a moment, trying to comprehend the twist which had come upon their little conspiracy. She herself would prefer a return to the old ways, it was true, but the behavior and attitudes of the princess did not create in Euboea a sense of peace. Diana was still the spoiled little child of privilege whom Euboea had trained to fight. The girl still refused to allow anyone to thwart her wishes. And it was becoming more and more difficult for Euboea to follow her commands.
Now she had issued the ancient Challenge of the Wiles to the wife of the man she considered her ideal mate. Euboea wondered who the poor fellow was. Rumors had flown about the palace since her departure that she wanted –
Suddenly Euboea remembered who it was that rumor claimed Diana wanted to be her daughter’s father.
And while she knew little for certain about Superman, if half of what was whispered about him were true, he surely would not take it well if Diana were to slay his wife in single combat. Nor would he look kindly upon those who had stood by and allowed it to happen.
Euboea shuddered. She had no choice but to obey, but she had no confidence that this would end well.
*****
That night, Diana lay in bed, thinking.
Worrying.
Frowning.
She tried to identify the cause of her discomfort, and she finally realized that it was the upcoming contest with Lois. She sincerely regretted that Lois had to die in order to release Superman from his odious obligation to her. She genuinely liked the outsider, despite her low-born heritage and coarse manners. At least Lois was fair and honest, unlike so many others Diana had encountered in Metropolis. She might have made an excellent household servant, even chief of the servant staff.
If only there were another way to –
Diana sat bolt upright. There very well might be another way.
She picked up the phone and dialed a number she’d not called before but which she knew by heart. Tomorrow morning, then, she would make one last attempt to resolve this situation peacefully. She did not desire bloodshed, truly.
Unless there was no other way, of course.
*****
Clark stood near the edge of the Daily Planet’s roof and scanned the surrounding skies. The message on his voicemail had told him to come to the place where he’d interviewed Wonder Woman at nine o’clock because there was more to learn from her.
The part that concerned him was that he was supposed to meet her alone, without Lois. She’d wanted to come with him, but when he’d told her his source wanted to meet him alone, she’d smiled and nodded and told him to come back with a whiz-bang headline.
He hated to deceive Lois, even for something which might be of vital importance.
He took off his glasses and pretended to clean them with the end of his tie as he scanned the skies for a flying woman – there! Coming in from the northeast at high speed, now directly over the Planet and descending, now slowing and touching down with nary a bump.
He smiled to her and nodded. “Very impressive landing, Wonder Woman. You obviously have excellent control of your powers.”
“As do you, Superman.”
His mouth stuck in the open position.
“I will not reveal your secret,” she purred. “In fact, I hope to share many secrets with you in the near future.”
He shook his head. “What did you call me?”
She smiled warmly. “You need not dissemble with me. You are Superman, a great and powerful man who pretends to be Clark Kent when you are not using your great powers for the good of the lesser beings around you.” She stepped closer and spoke in a low, almost sultry tone. “It must be so very difficult to sustain two lives as you do. And it surely is a hard thing to play the meek and mild reporter when evil men are flaunting their works before you. You could do so much more, Superman, if you were not burdened so.”
Clark shook his head. “I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m Superman.”
“You were in the park two nights ago. You saved a woman from a drunken man who was trying to molest her. You said to him, ‘When a lady says “no,” mister, she means “no” whether you want her to mean it or not.’ And I am certain he believed you.”
Clark took a deep breath and let it out slowly. However she’d done it, she’d learned his secret. And it wouldn’t do any good to pretend at this point. “Okay, you know. Now what?”
She smiled coyly. “Why, it is simple. I wish for us to be wed. I wish to bear your children. I wish to live with you as your wife.”
Clark blinked twice. Then he blinked again. Finally he regained his senses and said, “What?”
She put both hands on his right arm. “I wish for us to be wed, Superman. Together we could fight evil and promote goodness! We could advise the world’s governments as to the best way to maintain peace among the nations, and together we would be strong enough to enforce our counsel.” She leaned even closer and massaged his arm with her fingers. “And we could raise our family together. I promise you that you would never lack – ” she breathed the last word “ – anything.”
Oh, good, thought Clark, the Superman groupie from hell has finally shown up.
He stepped back slowly. “Look, Wonder Woman, I – I’m flattered by your offer, but I’m already married.”
She tilted her head and smiled. “Clark Kent may be married, but Superman is not. I see no reason to refuse me on that basis.”
He lifted his left hand and displayed his wedding ring. “See this? It means I already have a wife. And the laws of this country don’t allow a man to be married to two women at one time.”
“But you are Superman. You are above such petty restrictions. And since Superman did not marry anyone, Superman can be wed to Wonder Woman without fear of repercussion. You need no longer to pretend to be someone you are not.”
He gritted his teeth and told himself to be nice. “Look, you don’t understand. Clark Kent is who I really am. Superman is what I do. Superman is not a real person. He’s just the disguise I wear so I can help openly without putting my friends and family in danger.”
“But I would not be in danger! Recall that while I am not impervious to bullets, I am very difficult to hit with one. And with my strength and power of flight and my Lasso of Truth, I would be a tremendous asset to your work.”
“Whoa!” He lifted his hands, palms out, and backed up a step. “You’re not listening to me. I have no interest whatsoever in being married to anyone other than Lois. Not now, not ever! I love her and she loves me and we’re a family.”
Wonder Woman’s voice dropped in pitch and her face turned almost mournful. “She has yet to bear you a child. You have been wed for five years, and you have no issue. Do you not desire a daughter or son to raise, to carry on your name and your work? Do you not long to be a father to your own blood?”
“Of course I do! But if it happens, it’ll happen with Lois! I’m not splitting up with her for you or for anyone else!”
She blinked at him several times as if seeing him in a new light. “You are certain of your decision? You do not wish to give up this – this hiding away as Clark Kent? You do not wish for me to bear you the children which your own wife cannot?”
He took a step forward and clenched his fist before he realized what he’d done. “Get this straight,” he growled. “I’m married to Lois. I’m going to stay married to Lois as long as we both live, just like I vowed I would. And I’m not interested in any other woman, including you. Now do you understand what I just said or do you want me to repeat it slower using little tiny words?”
Her face hardened. “No. That will not be necessary. I apologize for taking up so much of your valuable time, Superman.”
Before he could respond, she leaped into the air and zipped out of sight. He could have caught up with her and continued to insist that he loved Lois and wasn’t leaving her for anyone, but there didn’t seem to be any point to it.
He headed back down to the newsroom. He debated telling Lois all that had just happened, but decided instead to say that the source hadn’t panned out. There was no sense in giving Lois any more reasons to be upset.
Then a thought struck him.
He thought about how Lana Lang had shied away from any suggestion that he use his powers openly, as if she were somehow afraid of them – or of what his using those powers would do to their relationship. He thought about how Mayson Drake had professed to love Clark but had mistrusted and disdained Superman. And now a super-powered woman claimed to love Superman and wanted him to give up being Clark.
Lois was the only woman he’d ever known who loved both parts of him and accepted the whole without trying to change him.
She was unique in his experience. She had never tried to get him to be more of one and less of the other. She had accepted him as he was, an amalgam of plain old Clark Kent and the spectacular Superman.
And he didn’t think he’d ever told her how much he loved her for it.
That settled it. He’d find a quiet time and tell her about this weird encounter and then tell her how much he loved her for loving all of him, not just one aspect of him. Maybe this would help her get past whatever had been bothering her lately. Maybe she just needed some reassurance from him. He knew that their vacation in France had been exactly what he’d needed at the moment. Now he’d try to return the favor and lift her up.
He certainly hoped that telling her would help.
*****
Diana fumed at herself. It had been a complete waste of time to reason with the Man of Steel. Lois was obviously some kind of witch and had cast some subtle spell over him.
There was no other reasonable explanation for Superman rejecting Diana for a normal woman, an average woman with no special skills, no trace of nobility in her heritage, not even a pleasing personality. Were the two of them to compete for Superman’s affection on anything like an even footing, Lois would fall behind immediately, and without any real effort on Diana’s part.
Superman would not give up Lois on his own. She had ensorcelled him. Therefore, Diana would have to make sure Lois was not around to work her unseemly magic on him. It was the only viable solution.
The original plan would go forward.
*****
On Thursday afternoon, Perry let Clark and Lois off early so she could rest for the next night’s exertions. The advertising department had somehow picked up on Lois’ hobby – which, for Lois, was almost becoming a second career – and run free advertising for the martial arts tournament, with Lois’ participation displayed prominently. The suits considered this a cost-effective measure for the paper. Lois’ thoughts on the subject were not relayed to them, upon Perry’s insistence.
Master Chou had been reluctant to go along with the free publicity at first, but his grandson Chen had convinced him that it was a boon for the dojo and for Lin’s future. Such publicity would bring in more students from all over the city, and perhaps they could finally expand and be able to teach Yi Chi to a much wider audience. The financial reward would be healthy, but the greater reward for the elderly martial arts master would be that his discipline would continue and not die out as others had.
Clark and Chen spent a working dinner Thursday evening at the Kents’ brownstone finalizing the sequence of events during the tournament. The owner of one of the local Shaolin studios had requested a block of time for a demonstration of their techniques, and Chen had finally gotten them to agree to a shorter time frame than the one they’d initially requested. Just that day, they’d received confirmation that ninth level black belt Jim Butin, winner of the silver medal in the first World Tae Kwon Do Championships held in Seoul, Korea in 1973 and now a nationally famous instructor, had cleared his schedule and would serve as one of the judges. Chen had confirmed the doctor and two ambulance teams who would be available on-site in case of emergency, and Clark had secured two snack vendors, one for those who preferred native Asian foods and one for those who preferred Metropolis cuisine.
Lois and Lin spent the time eating, talking over their routine, and gossiping about Chen’s lack of a love life. Their laughter floating into the dining room reassured the guys that the gals were still friends and that this tournament would be a tremendous success on every level.
*****
Diana folded the day’s copy of the Daily Planet and smiled to herself. So Lois fancied herself a martial artist? She would soon learn how weak and unskilled she truly was. No one who performed the arts as part of an ‘exhibition’ could possibly mount any kind of challenge to an Amazon Warrior Princess.
The best part was that Diana could take Lois from the crowd after the tournament was completed without alarming anyone. One loop of her lasso on Lois’ wrist and they could walk outside, find a dark alley, and be on Themyscira before dawn.
And Superman would be hers within another week. She could almost feel the crown on her head already.
*****
Clark and Chen had disagreed on the timing for the demonstration featuring Lin and Lois. “Lin is the best in the dojo and Lois is right behind her. If we start with them, anyone else competing will seem like an afterthought. They should go on last.”
“But they’re the big draw!” Chen countered. “Those two ladies are amazing! Have you seen them?”
“Lois won’t let me. She’s afraid I’ll try to ‘rescue’ her.”
“Then take my word for it, they’re dynamite! That routine will get everyone’s blood flowing and put people in the mood for some high-class martial arts. We can put the Shaolin team and their weapons katas on right after them – they’re so graceful they look like dancers – and then the Shotokan master can do his demonstrations, then we’ll have a short intermission and after that the competitions will start.”
“Oh, all right. What time does the whole program start?”
“With all we have scheduled, we’ll have to start right at seven or we’ll never get through all of it. Say, did you ever get that call back from the mayor to be the Mistress of Ceremonies for the night?”
“What? No! I thought they were going to call you!”
“You’re – no, of course you’re not kidding. I can’t do it, Clark, I’ve got to be at the front door and oversee admissions and make sure no one tries to bring in any unauthorized weapons. It has to be you.”
“Me? I’m no announcer, Chen! I can’t do that!”
“You’ll have to. There’s no one else.”
“But I wanted to sit with Lois for the rest of the show! She promised to explain it all to me.”
“You’ll have to get a late-night recap from her. Come on, big guy, step up and be a man on this one!”
“Oh, all right! I’ll do my best.”
“You’ll be great! In fact, you’ll be super!”
“Don’t go there, okay?”
*****
It was time to begin the tournament. Clark introduced Master Chou to the crowd, who greeted him with much enthusiasm. He smiled and waved and bowed his thanks.
Next, he introduced Lin Chou and Lois Lane, who would give a demonstration of Yi Chi to the crowd before the actual competition began. The two women stood in the middle of the mat and held hands for a moment, then stepped apart and bowed to each other.
At the same moment they snapped into ready stances, and a second later Lin launched a devastating attack.
Lois dodged and responded. Lin blocked Lois’ attack and launched a double kick, one which might have taken down a full-grown horse had either blow connected.
But both missed. Lois was somewhere else, launching kicks of her own.
Clark watched in amazement. He’d seen Lois in action before, and he knew she understood how to fight a real-life fight with multiple opponents. And he knew that she’d earned a brown belt in Tai Kwon Do before they’d ever met.
But what she and Lin were doing now went beyond that by several orders of magnitude. They were moving so quickly that he had to use his special visual abilities to catch everything that was happening. Their arms were blurs as they punched and blocked. Their feet were smears across normal vision as they whipped through the air. And as they dodged and rolled and flipped away, he gained an even higher measure of respect for his wife’s physical prowess than he’d ever had before. And they did the whole routine without breaking any boards or bricks, using only techniques one might use against an unarmed human opponent.
If Lois ever did go into business with Lin as a martial arts instructor, her students would learn from one of the best ever.
When they finished their routine, he stood and applauded like a madman until one of the judges nudged him and pointed to the microphone at the corner of the mat. As he introduced Lin and Lois once again, he couldn’t help mentioning that he was married to one of them – and that the audience had seen just one of the reasons he was completely and utterly faithful to her.
The crowd laughed and cheered and clapped even harder as the women scampered to the locker room to change. Clark reminded the people that there were many more very entertaining moments coming up, noted that the Asian food and the Metropolis food vendors were ready to serve them, pointed out the locations of the restrooms, and reminded everyone to stay clear of the mats during the night. He also got a laugh when he told them that a waiver of responsibility for injury was included in the price of admission.
Then he introduced the next attraction, a weapons demonstration by the Shaolin team. He hoped Lois could watch at least part of it with him.
*****
Diana gave her money for both her ticket and her program to a tall, young Asian man who momentarily reminded her of Clark Kent. She glanced at the program to find the demonstration Lois was performing, only to see that she had just missed it.
She sighed. Assisting the police at that liquor store robbery had not been totally necessary, but it did give her yet another good deed in the ledger which would further convince the people of the city that she was here to help them. And, upon reflection, she thought that taking Lois from the building earlier rather than later would give her a head start on any pursuit which Superman might mount.
A familiar voice rang out over the speakers in the hall, and she realized that Clark was announcing the next demonstration. She glanced at the open floor to see two fairly agile men swinging swords at each other. As she glanced around, she realized that every eye was focused on them.
She didn’t see Lois, so she assumed that her target had already moved to the changing area. Diana slipped behind the excited observers and headed toward the locker rooms, hoping that her quarry was the only one there.
Luck! Lois was seated on a wooden bench in front of a row of lockers, wearing a loose outfit that resembled long-sleeved pajamas. All Diana needed to do would be to step closer and loop her lasso over Lois’ wrist, and then the woman would obey her every command.
Lois looked up as Diana approached. “I’m sorry,” Lois said, “but the locker room is closed to the public. Only participants are supposed to be back here.”
“That’s all right, Lois,” Diana purred, “I came to see you.”
Lois pointed at her. “Me? Wait a minute, I know you. You’re that woman from the Greek Embassy – um – ”
The lasso looped over Lois’ outstretched hand as if it had been made to order. “Yes, I’m Diana Prince.”
Lois looked at her wrist with alarm, but a soft “No” from Diana stopped her from stripping off the lasso. “Stand up, please, Lois,” Diana continued, “and come with me. We need to have a conversation.”
Just then a toilet flushed, and another woman wearing slacks and a blouse walked around a wall. “Are you changed yet, Lois? We have time to – ” and then she saw Diana.
Don’t fight her, thought the princess, just get out quickly. “Everything is fine, madam. Lois and I were simply going to share a cup of coffee. I came back here to find her before I lost her again in the crowd.”
The short Asian woman frowned and looked at Lois, who showed a placid expression and a relaxed stance. Diana sent a quick impulse to agree with her down the lasso.
“That’s right, Lin,” said Lois in a flat tone. “We’re just going to share a cup of coffee.”
Lin paused, then said, “Okay. Chen and I will be waiting for you in the stands. And I think your husband may have missed his calling. He’s a terrific announcer.”
“It is kind of you to say that. Is it not kind, Lois?”
Another quick jolt. “Yes, of course. It is kind of you, Lin.”
Lin nodded slowly and walked past the two women. “It’s just the truth. Hey, don’t forget, my grandfather wants to introduce the two of us again right after the intermission. He won’t say so, but he’s really proud of what we’ve done together.”
Yet another jolt. “I won’t forget, Lin.”
“Okay,” she called as she left the locker room. “See you in a few.”
Diana watched the Asian woman leave, then turned to Lois. “Is there another exit to this building, one we may use without being observed?”
“Yes. The fire exit is behind the women’s bathroom.”
“Fire exit? Does that door have an alarm attached to it?”
Lois frowned slightly. “Yes.”
“Then we cannot use it. Where is an exit we can use to leave the building without being seen and without alerting the others to our presence here?”
Lois’ lips trembled with the effort to resist. Despite the circumstances, Diana was impressed. Very few Amazons could hold back information under the pressure of the lasso, yet this outsider might prove to be stronger than any of Diana’s sisters in this one area.
But she could not hold out much longer. Her breath burst out all at once. “There’s an exit behind the main entrance that opens out into the parking lot. But it’s not well-lit and nobody’s watching it.”
“Very well. We will use that exit.”
With Lois in the lead and Diana close enough to hide the lasso up her jacket’s long sleeve, they walked unnoticed out the side exit.
When they were out in the parking lot, Lois slowly turned her head around and said, “You’re Wonder Woman.”
“Yes, I am. And I must compliment you on your mental strength. No one else in the city has been able to resist my lasso as you have.”
They took a few more steps, then Lois asked, “Why are you doing this?”
“Ah,” Diana said, “that is a question we will answer later. Right now, I fear you must go to sleep.”
Before Lois could face front again, a woman materialized out of the darkness and pressed a device to Lois’ shoulder. The device hissed for a moment and Lois crumpled into Diana’s arms.
“I presume you mixed the potion properly, Cydippe?”
“If not,” growled the newcomer, “you may blame Epione and her healer’s texts.”
“As you say. Where is our transportation?”
Cydippe pointed. “We will ride in that vehicle, the yellow one with the crude light on top. The driver has been paid not to care who rides in his odiferous chariot. Ten minutes travel time to the aircraft and we will take off. Ismene will pilot us to Themyscira.”
“Ismene? Has she finally mastered the controls of that craft? How many times did she damage the simulator?”
“Do not allow her to hear your doubts, Princess. She is the only qualified pilot I could find on such short notice, and she is not happy about participating in this hastily planned endeavor.”
“Then let us depart this cesspool of man, Cydippe. Destiny awaits us.”
*****
Jimmy hated to work late. He especially hated to work late tonight of all nights, when Lois was performing her Yi Chi demo with Lin Chou. He’d often thought about taking up martial arts again, although his preferred style was Aikido and not Yi Chi. Maybe Master Chou could recommend a good Aikido instructor – or, on second thought, maybe not. It didn’t seem like it would be good form to ask one teacher to recommend a teacher in another discipline to –
What was that?
He looked around the empty news room and saw nothing. Yet he was sure he’d seen something out of the corner of his eye, had heard the whisper of soft footfalls on the floor. But the lights were on full and there was no place for anyone to hide.
But what was that thick brown envelope on Lois’ desk? He was certain it hadn’t been there five minutes before.
He glanced around again and slowly crept toward her desk. When he got close enough, he read the label: Lois Lane, Daily Planet.
No return address, no postage, so it hadn’t come from outside the office, and not through the postal system. He wondered where it –
Then he saw the tiny symbol in the lower right corner of the package front.
It was a bat.
He whipped his head around and thought he saw movement near the stairwell, a flutter of soft darkness passing through the doorway. His heart raced and he crouched down with his fists at the ready. If the legendary Batman was here, Jimmy would make sure he stayed.
But a few moments later, sanity returned. If the Batman had indeed left this package for Lois, she’d need it right away. And since his current duties included making sure that the reporters had what they needed when they needed it – whether they knew they needed it or not – he decided he had to take this package to Lois immediately. Otherwise she might not get it until Monday morning, and the information might be out of date by then.
He paused long enough to call the night editor and tell him where he was going and why, the he cautiously lifted the package and made his way to the elevator as quickly as was reasonable.
Somehow he was sure this was something really important.
