|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 397 |
Wow, CC!! This is wonderful and so heart-wretching to see the respective couples struggle through the aftermath of what Tempus had put them through. I loved the interview! It was so poignant, and I'm glad Clark found out that she waited to sleep with the other Clark, but then this nearly had me in tears.. “Simple. I loved him. I always will. For who he was to me. For what he gave to me so selflessly, never asking for anything in return. And you…are the man I am in love with.” Lois didn't make a move towards him, but the space that had been between them seemed to have evaporated. “Whose eyes I can't stand to read pain in. Whose arms I always want around me. Whose body fits mine. Whose heart is tied to my heart…by a chord that even time and distance couldn't break.” Then when she wrote the message on her stomach, about how afraid she was to wake up and find herself in another universe - WOW!! The relationship between the Alt couple is as equally intriguing. I loved the kiss and how Clark counted down the time before she tries to pick a fight, and how she counters with the time before he mentions Lois. I could go on, but it's time to get my kids up... Great story, CC! Can't wait to see what's next! Missy
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543 |
CC, this section is really intriguing and well written. Remember I wrote last time that I had a hard time accepting that Lois would marry Alt Clark in any universe. Well, I can accept it more now that I've read this section. It makes so much sense that she felt so alone, a drift, and that the only anchor she had was Clark, even though he wasn't really her Clark. Her Clark also needed to hear that there are definite differences between the two men and that there are two very different kinds of love. You handled this one so well. There interview gave them the chance to stand back from their emotions and deal with their fears. Except that when we decide that all will be good between Lois and Clark ( :rolleyes: What were you thinking, gerry, it's only part 2 of 10), Lois's fears are graphically shown when she puts the message on her body...and Clark sees it. Omygoodness And then there are AltClark and AltLois trying to deal with their relationship. I like the way the little things (his ties, Lois's things) are the core of arguments rather what is really bothering them. But maybe they need to sit down and interview each other. But then they're busy counting minutes and hours looking for a fight. Excellent section gerry
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Tempus is back in bussiness more!! Jose
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Better and better, CC! You just carry on citing me as much as you want - like AltClark, I'll draw my own conclusions. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,090
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,090 |
Wow, CC. Really great stuff I about swallowed my tongue when I thought that Tempus had come back only to find out it was Lois's nightmare! Geez! I do like that she's struggling with what's happened - has become too much of a victim, and that Clark is trying to snap her out of it. I am confused - I thought that perhaps the baby could be real Clark's, but from the beginning of this section, it seems that he's decided it is definitely not his. I think this might be a bit of suspense to keep me hanging - in which case it's working! I hate to say it but I'm not liking the AltLois/Lane very much. I guess I should be understanding about the fact that she came back to find someone else living her life, but she just seems so harsh with AltClark. I'm going to hold judgment, but I hope she softens up a bit. Can't wait to read the next part. Lynn
You know that boy'd walk on water for you? Or he'd drown tryin'. -Perry White to Lois in Just Say Noah
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,202
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,202 |
CC, this is incredible! I like what you're doing with the sequel. It was only to be expected that both couples couldn't adjust easily, and you portray it very well. It feels very real. I like the interview. It's not how I'd start such a delicate subject, but it obviously works well here. Maybe I need to learn more tactics. Now post more! I want to know how this continues! Saskia
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great piece. They need a lot of help. “I’m going home,” she choked out. “I don’t want you to come, ok?”
He was behind her, his warm hands on her shoulders, his hard chest against her back.
“Why does the tie bother you?” he breathed into her hair.
“It’s ugly,” she finally sobbed. “She could *not* have loved you, giving you a tie like that! It’s a sign, Clark. You’re just too sweet to see it. She was trying to make you…ugly! Trying to alienate you from everyone else. Trying to make you into a…a stupid, ugly tie-wearing guy.”
“I don’t want a divorce,” he replied, apparently finding something in that logic he wanted to hear. “Let’s go home.”
“Can we fly?” she asked, cringing at the pleading sound in her voice.
In answer he wrapped his arms around her, turning her towards him and tucking her head into his neck. They floated soundlessly up the stairwell, to the roof and up.
“Let’s take the long way,” she sighed.
“You got it,” he answered. This Lois 2 and Clark 2 are nuts! This is scarry. “Simple. I loved him. I always will. For who he was to me. For what he gave to me so selflessly, never asking for anything in return. And you…are the man I am in love with.” Lois didn’t make a move towards him, but the space that had been between them seemed to have evaporated. “Whose eyes I can’t stand to read pain in. Whose arms I always want around me. Whose body fits mine. Whose heart is tied to my heart…by a chord that even time and distance couldn’t break.”
He dropped his head into his hands. Blinking against the tears that wanted to come. “I think that will be enough for today, Ms. Lane,” he rasped. Beautiful! More soon, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
Excellant instalment.
Graphic and compelling insights offered into each of the two disfunctional couples.
While I do feel for Lois and the fears the Tempus has planted that she can't get over, I feel more for altLois. Lois does have Clark, and they both know that they love each other. So, in the back of their minds there must be a feeling that no matter what the problem, they will eventually get through it together.
AltLois has had all her choices taken away from her. Not only has she had to come back to a life that someone else made for her, but she didn't even get to pick her own husband. Even if she can find it in her to fall in love with her world's Clark, she'll always have the reminder that she is just a substitute for the man's 'true' wife. Not an enviable position to be in.
This is a fantastic story as it unfolds. I think, much more powerful than the original.
Tank (who thinks he might have to rethink his support of the every other day posting schedule with this one)
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
CC, great installment ditto others more merry
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,342 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,342 Likes: 1 |
Came home for the holiday and found this present. As a Veteran, thanks. Our Lois has gone from unsympathetic to crazy (changing worlds and unsure paternity has left her unhinged) - but I understand why and want to know more .
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Lots of heartfelt anguish in this one CC. Our Lois who is fighting quite an inner battle. Trying to feel normal but with that everpresent weight of fear on her mind. That Tempus nightmare had me going for a second there and I ached for her when she wrote the ID information on her body! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go? Clark: No. Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go. Clark: Then why do you ask? Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411 |
One word: WOOOOOOOWWWW. . I could read it a thousand times! (happy sigh) There's one thing, though, that I'm not sure I quite understand (it might be a direct consequence of reading too fast <g>). Lois's anguish feels a little too strong for me. I know she's been through a lot,and maybe the consequences are just beginning to sink in, but still. The marker scene was incredibly described; I could feel her pain, but I couldn't help but feel at the same time that it was a little extreme. Does any of it make any sense??? 'Cause if it doens't, feel free to say so <g>. I AM loving the story, honestly, but I have one last complaint: do you really have to wait so long in between sections???? I mean, I'd understand if you felt the urging need to post EVERYDAY... Cris PS. Almost forgot. I love the contrast between Lane's attitude towards Alt Clark adn Clark's attitude towards Lois. Lane, though softening thanks to Alt Clark's influence, it's still closer to the early Lois: independent, stubborn (wait, make it VERY stubborn)... It's fun to see her deal with her feelings for Clark. And it's also fun to see how Alt Clark deals with her.
Cris
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,133
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,133 |
CC, I read this yesterday, but I didn't have time to comment. The description of Lois's dream had me absolutely shivverring! It was so frightening. And then when she wrote on herself, my heart broke. I have to say, I can identify with Lane. She is trying to fill shoes of an idealized memory. This is a really great sequel and is answering a lot of my unanswered questions.
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
CC WOW! This is excellent. I'm looking forward to reading the next part. Tricia
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Missy,gerry,Jose,Wendy,lynn,Saskia,Maria,Tank,merry,ethnica,Liz,Cristina,LauraA, and Tricia,
Thank you for your very thoughtful comments! I am really grateful for them all and appreciate the extra time you took in responding to this part.
Just a few things before I post part 3. Stay with me a sec as I ramble...
This is only my 5th story ever, and I am really enjoying the learning process. I have it from a good source that I tend towards making leaps in my writing, assuming everyone is right behind me and coming along. It was pointed out to me, gently, that I might do well to make sure everyone is still there when I round the corner. So, I'm trying to watch for that, to balance that without compromising how I like to tell a story. With that in mind I found Cristina's comment about Lois' anguish and the marker scene being "a little extreme" really interesting. (Thank you, Cristina) I wanted it to be a surprise. To just hint at what was in Lois' head from Clark's pov as "too fragile, too quiet." But not until we get Lois and the nightmare did I want to illustrate what a mess she is. It was important to me that this not be overwrought or maudlin.
Lynn isn't too sure of altLois, finding her a bit hard, despite her tough situation. But this is good! I don't want her soft. I just don't think she would be a Lois Lane if she swallowed this whole thing from the get go. I would love to keep hearing from you, though, Lynn, let me know when and if she is a more sympathetic character in your view. Or if her hardness puts you off too much for that to happen. I'd like to know that, as well.
Tank, you used the word "fantastic" in your comments. I reread it about 3 times to make sure I had that right. And you're still with me, despite two parts and no haircut yet! A big thank you.
ethnica, you found that Lois moved from unsympathetic to crazy. I like that. That's progress, right? And on a personal note, from a military spouse to a Vet, thank *you*.
Wendy, don't think I didn't notice that tiny call for more introspection from Lane hidden in your lovely comments. (and they were really lovely, thanks) But you wouldn't be Wendy if you didn't ask, and I wouldn't be CC if I didn't refuse<vbg>.
I loved these comments. Love how thoughtful they are and how helpful in reflecting how the story is coming across. I really appreciate any and all thoughts- good and bad- as they teach me.
Ok, enough prattle, part 3 coming soon.
Thanks again, everyone!
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411 |
Hey CC! If you wanted it to be a surprise, then I guess you succeeded And being able to surprise the reader is, IMO, a great quality. It is true that sometimes you move a little too fast (I remember having a little trouble keeping up with the third story in your trilogy, but I tend to associate it with the fact that I'm not a native spekaer) I understand the logic behind your writing. So I'm guessing I'll get to understand Lois's situation as a read on. I'm glad the comment was helpful Cris (dying to get back home so she can read on )
Cris
|
|
|
|