I owe everyone a huge apology. It's been forever since the last post. But I'm afraid I wasn't able to get it up before now. I've had a sick household, then of course, it was my turn. And wouldn't you know? Mama gets it worse than anyone else! DOUBLE ear infection- couldn't have just one...
I do hope somebody is still interested in this. And I hope to get the rest of it up before anything else happens.
Enjoy!
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It's so cold! I feel like it's seeped into my bones. We train in the snow, up to our knees. I tell myself that tomorrow will be better. Only tomorrow is just like today.
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How much is one person supposed to be able to stand? This damn nausating blue hell. What I wouldn't give for a cheeseburger.
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Different day, same old things. Kryptonians don't like change.
Have you noticed I've begun to speak of them as Kryptonians? I don't really refer to myself as any one thing at all. What I am? Yeah, biologically I'm Kryptonian. But in every other way, I'm Earthling.
Oh, and Kryptonians are essentially human. That's the one truly positive thing about coming to this world. I've learned so much about myself, my body.
My heart. I've learned a lot about my heart.
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I noticed today that my clothes don't fit any more. My shirts are too tight, my jeans won't button. I don't wear regular clothes often, but now and then I like the reminder of home.
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I found out why my clothes don't fit. I've gained twenty pounds! Of solid muscle. That blue gunk is good for something. It's packed with vitamins and minerals. Hell, Jimmy's even benefitted from it. He's getting rather large, too.
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Another day in hell. I was shot today. Laser pierced my side. Council made the decision to move me off the front lines. They want to keep the precious 'First Lord' healthy and safe.
What a load of bull! Their idea of healthy and safe is training to use the dre and griping at me because I won't procreate with my wife! I laugh every time I think about it. And just why do I have to train if I'm not going to be on the front lines?
Maybe it's more for the procreation part. (lol)
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Lois read the day away. Before she knew it, Martha was calling them to dinner. Neither Lane nor Clark was there. Her son had eaten and went up to watch television in his room before bed. No one was sure of where Clark was. He hadn't returned since he'd stormed off. Lois was advised to allow them both their space. It had to be difficult with the overwhelming emotional overload they were both dealing with. She couldn't say a word, but managed to finish her meal, then returned to her room.
Another notebook was finished before Lois finally turned the light off and rolled over. She'd just closed her eyes when she heard Clark's door shut. Sighing in relief, she pulled the covers up to her chin.
****
It hadn't been Clark who'd shut his door. It had been Lane. He'd gone in to his father's room to wait on him. He said he'd always come back. And no matter how mad he was, they were going to talk!
Clark finally managed to make it back to the farmhouse around midnight. He'd been so angry with Lois when he'd left. To think she didn't trust him with their son cut like a knife. He'd walked down to the pond on the back of the property and sat staring into the water trying to figure out what to do. He had to talk to her, of course. If she really felt that way...
He wasn't sure what he'd do. He was in more pain than he'd been when he was away from her.
And there was Lane. He'd treated him badly. None of this was his fault. Poor guy was probably so hurt and confused.
Abandoning his vigil at the pond, he'd started back toward the farm. He'd passed the Fortress of Solitude and was unable to resist going up. Finding his globe, he'd listened to the messages of his father again. Those words seemed to contradict the words he'd heard from the hologram inside his ship. Why hadn't he questioned any of it before traveling across space to defend a rock?
It was dark when he'd awakened. He'd been so tired, unable to hold his eyes open. Deciding to take a nap, he'd slept well into the night. He'd quickly scrambled from the treehouse. The others were probably worried he'd gone off again.
Lane! That kid must feel horrible.
Clark was relieved to have found the door unlocked. And his mother had left a plate in the oven for him. He grabbed the food, a drink, and a napkin before heading upstairs. He'd eat in his room after he talked to Lane.
He snapped on the light in his room to find a sleeping child in his bed. The plate and glass was abandoned before he sat down on the edge of the bed. A gentle hand stroked the soft black hair on his son's head while his heart skipped a beat. He might have been shocked to find him here when he'd returned from New Krypton, but what a wonderful surprise.
What would he do if Lois said she didn't trust him? Surely she hadn't meant it.
Lane stirred, then rolled to his back. "Daddy?" he said, opening an eye, then the other.
"Yeah. I'm here."
The boy pushed himself up against the headboard. "You said you'd come back," he said, a bit of wonder touching his words.
"I'll always come back."
"I was mad at you," Lane admitted.
"Yeah. I was pretty angry at myself." Clark moved to lean on the bed beside him. "None of what happened today was your fault. Mom and I..."
"Had different heads."
"Different heads?"
"Not thinking the same thing," he explained.
"Different opinions?" Clark asked.
"Yeah, that. Grammy says it's okay for people to have those."
"And it is. But there's some things people need to have the same heads about."
"Like what to do with their son?"
"Yes." Clark reached down and took Lane's hand. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry with your mom."
"I shouldn't have either. I told her not to touch me." He looked down at the cover in shame.
"Well, maybe we should talk to her tomorrow," Clark suggested.
"'Kay."
"I'm really sorry, Lane."
"Me, too, Daddy."
Clark smiled down at him. "I love to hear you say that."
"I love to say it." He grinned back. "Can I sleep here tonight?"
"I think I'd like that." He leaned over to kiss the top of his head. "Wanna help me eat my supper?"
"Sure."
Clark got up to grab his plate and father and son started to put a broken bridge back together again.
****
Even though he'd slept a great deal the day before, Clark slept very well that night. There had been no dreams to wake him. A small foot kicked him in the stomach, arousing him once. Smiling, he'd tucked Lane against his side and drifted back off.
When he finally woke, it was nearly nine in the morning. Lane was gone and his mother had set him out some fruit and yogurt. A note explained that she and his father had to go to the farmer's market and they'd taken Lane with them. It also scolded him for not coming home. He grinned and sat up to eat his breakfast.
Twenty minutes later he'd eaten, showered, and went in search of Lois. He found her in the den. She was reclined on the lounge at the window, the sun shining in on her. She was so beautiful.
As if she knew he was there, she looked up at him. When their eyes met, an entire conversation took place in the span of seconds.
"I'm sorry," she told him as she closed her book.
"Did you mean it? Is that how you feel?" He didn't move, just stood in the doorway.
"No. That stuff just represented another thing that had you when I didn't, that still has part of you."
He took a deep breath in relief. After a moment, he walked across the room and sat down on the end of the lounge. "That hurt... worse than being away from you. To think that you didn't trust me."
"I'm sorry," she offered and leaned up to touch his arm.
"But you know, why should you trust me? I've been gone so long, and I"ve changed so much."
"Not that much."
"If I'd thought it would hurt him, Lois..."
"I know."
"The look in your eyes," he said as he faced her, tears filling his own.
Immediately her eyes welled with tears, too. "I'm so sorry."
"I might have been shocked when you told me about him and run off like a fool, but believe me, Lane is part of me. And I'm not talking about my DNA. He's part of me here." And he demonstrated by splaying his hand across his chest.
Lois coverered her mouth with her hand. To know she'd hurt him that way made her want to die. This was the last thing he needed.
"I *have* to drink that damn stuff for a few days. When my powers come back, I'll throw it away and we'll never have to talk about it again." He looked away, rubbing his hands over his knees. "I'd never, ever do anything to put Lane in harm's way."
Lois reached out to smooth his hair back on the side of his head. "I can't believe I made such a big deal out of it."
"I can understand how you felt though." He faced her again. "I wanted to be here with you just as badly as you wanted me here."
"And now?"
"Now I want us to have the same heads."
"You've talked to Lane," she breathed. More than anything she'd been worried for Lane.
"He was in my bed when I got in last night. I told him that you and I had to get in the same head where he's concerned."
"You're right."
"I know it's going to be tough getting used to having me around. You've been Mommy and Daddy his entire life. But, Lois, I want to do this. I want to love him."
"Oh, honey," she whispered.
"We have to talk. And I'm sorry I ran off. I should have stayed."
"Do you think we would have talked this calmly if you'd stayed?"
"Even if we hadn't, at least we'd have been communicating."
"You're right." She stuck out her hand as if to shake. "From now on we talk."
Clark took her hand in his. "About everything," he added, then offered her a smile.
Lois smiled back. "I missed you."
He pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I missed you."
They sat that way for a long time in silence, simply soaking up the other's presence. Finally Lois spoke. "Where were you?"
"In the Fortress of Solitude," he told her at once. She had the right to know. That's the kind of relationship he wanted to have with her. "I fell asleep."
Slowly she started to laugh. "Guess you were worn out."
"Jumping across space will do that do you." They shared another laugh before he reached over and picked up the book she'd had. It was one of his notebooks.
"Number three," she told him.
"And you still want me?"
"You have no idea," she mumbled as she pulled away and stood up.
"Where ya' going?" he asked as he reached out to grab her hand.
"To potty." And like he'd done her, she winked at him.
He just shook his head with a sappy grin on his face. A bad day with Lois was certainly better than ten good days without her. It was so good to be home.
