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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Interesting part CC!!!  I don't like that Lois has a gun  ... will she be able to use it with Tempus?  (Sorry El  ) more!! Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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“I’m coming over there to kiss you goodbye,” he warned her. “Don’t run. I’m faster.”
“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” she stammered.
“Let’s live dangerously.” He grinned, moving towards her at something just a tad under superspeed. Oh!  I think they're falling in love!! and then........ “I’ve got a gun,” she called loudly.
“Twentieth Century? American made?” he called conversationally from the other side.
“Come and see,” she snarled. USE IT LOIS!  Holy..I think I stopped breathing at the end there...is it Friday yet?? ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great piece. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
Another powerful instalment.
We continue to see the the two couples copeing with their unique and troubling situations.
Lois is going to be showing pretty soon so whether or not they tell anybody is going to be out of their hands soon.
AltLois seems to be softening, but she still needs the reassurance that she is not Lois. Maybe she can get another haircut, just to assert her individuality.
Poor Lois is really screwed up and Tempus has returned. The nightmare made real.
Tank (who wonders why Superman hasn't shown up... it better be a real good reason given the fact that he knows how fragile her fears have made her)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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AKK I hope she shoots the bastard once and for all! Poor Lois. Can't he pick on a differnet Lois for a change<g> Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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Jose, Liz, Maria, Tank, and Laura,
Thank you for your comments! I wasn't certain how an armed Lois Lane would play. I wanted something to show how deep her fears of Tempus' return are, how vulnerable she feels.
Keep reading, Jose, to see if she can really use it.
Had to laugh at Liz and Laura who just want her to get it over with, pull trigger. But this is just part 3 of 10, so....
Next part, Tank, I promise. The hair goes.
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
CC,
great part
ditto others
I don't like the gun part either
more
merry
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2003
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Wow, CC, you've got me sitting on the edge of my seat! Where is Superman?!? This is such a great part - great story overall. I love your dialogue - it's so natural and very much in character. Especially the teasing between AltClark and AltLois. I'm so worried for Lois. She's really handling this badly. But it's kind of nice for a change to see her actually affected by a trauma and struggling to get past it rather than just being OK after Clark says he loves her. All right, any time you're ready, I'm waiting for part 4. Lynn
You know that boy'd walk on water for you? Or he'd drown tryin'. -Perry White to Lois in Just Say Noah
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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CC An excellent part! Poor Lois! My heart goes out to her.  I'm thoroughly enjoying this and can't wait to see what happens next. Tricia 
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