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Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Feedback here please.  Bob
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
LOL cute, they obviously think he is dating Lois. Nice job. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Ditto everything Laura said. This is a fun set up for what promises to be a most amusing story.
I enjoyed your conversation with your muse, by the way. Unfortunately my muse seems to be taking lessons from your muse. Actually, she seems to have exceeded the master. She only doles out a single story idea at a time, and until it has been written up and posted to the MB, she won't hand me another idea.
Thanks for posting this on a daily basis. Not too long to wait between parts.
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
As Lois hung up the phone, she wondered why Jimmy would be so sure he’d find her with Clark.  Clever Jimmy knows all! “Is Clark Kent coming?” the blonde asked. “I’ve been dying to get to know him outside of work.”
“No. Like I said, no one who’s in a relationship,” Madge responded. Well yeah, everyone is going to assume they are dating!  The other woman cut her off. “If he ever breaks up there’ll be a wall of us around his desk,” she said laughing. And tons of us fangirls too!!!! Love this so far! Looking forward to even more chapters!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
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Clever idea! It will be fun to see how you develop this.
Joan
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Glad to see this up, Bob. 
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Delightful start. Clearly Lois is going to miss the obvious and think that Clark's disappearances are to meet his girlfriend.
Framework4
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Great start! I notice that the ladies chatting in the rest room cleverly didn't say *who* Clark was in a relationship with. Now Lois will have to wonder.
What will it take to get her to understand that it's herself?
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: May 2010
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Oh. Poor Lois. She really can be galactically clueless. The only ones she ever fooled are herself and most of the time Clark.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
I enjoyed this beginning! I always think it's fun to stop and consider what everyone else must think of the things that happen in Lois and Clark's life! I had to laugh at the opening scene at Clark's apartment--Clark's solicitousness with the phone call, Jimmy's replies, and Lois's confusion!  I'm already starting to feel a bit sorry for the trouble he's going to get into when Lois decides to either investigate or confront him about this 'girlfriend!' Looking forward to the rest!
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
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Oh, this should be such fun! I also loved the premise (and the proposed posting schedule ). Cannot wait for part 2
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Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I'm sorry that your 'packages' have been delayed. Remember don't blame the messenger (deliveryman) if you ever want them to arrive in the future. Something To Talk About... is such a great song and perfect for L&C. But Clark seemed to take Perry’s rejection of the story more to heart. More than once since then when they’d teamed on an investigation, Clark had insisted that she get more facts before taking the story to Perry. She had to admit that in this element of story preparation, he was right more often than wrong. This describes Clark so well. He would take Perry's usual critisim to heart. I'm glad he makes them better reporters because of it. In her rush to get a quick start, she’d consumed more coffee than even her system was used to. A whole pot? I thought Lois lived on coffee and pastrami and had a cast iron stomach. Lois overhearing the gossip. If it's gossip around the office, Clark has probably already heard it. I wonder what he thinks of the rumors and when -- as we all know she will -- Lois confronts him about his girlfriend whether or not he'll tell her about the rumors he had to have heard. I'm chomping at the bit waiting for more.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
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I love it!! Can't wait for more, so thanks for your lovely posting schedule.
EvelynC
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
I love feedback!! Re: My muse… I really didn’t want to work on this story. I have been almost desperate to work on one of my alt-beginning ideas. However, once I got this idea in my head I couldn’t get past it. A few weeks ago I was sitting in front of my workstation trying to write just one paragraph on either “Congo” or “Pub” but it was like this voice whispering in my ear, “ Something To Talk About would be so easy!” I just kept hearing that over and over. So here it is. Framework4 said: Delightful start. Clearly Lois is going to miss the obvious and think that Clark's disappearances are to meet his girlfriend.  Thank you all for your comments. Act 2 is now up. Bob
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
First - it's great to have you posting a story again, Bob. Second - I loved the start, particularly this ... His disappearances were annoying, but she was coming to grips with the idea that with Clark, mysterious exits and cheesy excuses were part of the package. Nicely put ... and even with the mysterious exits and cheesy excuses, he's still a nice package! Corrina.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
 my encounter with my muse went something like this: Hilarious  Lois didn’t even pretend not to listen as Clark continued. “Hi Jimmy. Yeah, Lois is here. Just a second.”
Clark offered her the phone. “It’s Jimmy for you.” Yes, I can see how a rumor cold get started this way “No trouble. I called your apartment. When you didn’t answer, I figured you’d be at Clark’s. Well, goodnight.” Or, already has. Makes you wonder just how often Lois drives home when it's gotten really late  “Well, we didn’t invite anyone in a long-term relationship. After all, the whole point of a mixer is to meet other available people,” Madge answered.
“Is Clark Kent coming?” the blonde asked. “I’ve been dying to get to know him outside of work.”
“No. Like I said, no one who’s in a relationship,” Madge responded. Ooooooooo The door closed, cutting them off. They both seemed awfully sure about Clark. Who was he seeing, and how could it be that she didn’t know who this mystery woman was? They have mirrors in the ladies' room, right? /off to part 2!/ Michael
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Hi, Corrina. Thanks for the note. I'm hoping that I can get my muse back on a more regular schedule again. Michael: I'm glad you enjoyed the muse story. They have mirrors in the ladies' room, right? Bob
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