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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Still writing the last several chapters, but I have a feeling I might need an extra chapter or two. Hope no one minds if I go a little over?
Looking forward to hearing what everyone thinks about this chapter!
Thank you!
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Joined: May 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
My reply was a beat late as I tried to process just how quickly he had come out of sleep...with my safety his first concern. So very Clark. I gauged that there had been no ransom note--not that I had expected there to be--and that my co-workers had been caught between fear that I had been kidnapped and a suspicion that I had gone undercover to work on a secret story. *snicker* I wonder if they were placing bets on which it was! It seemed impossible that so little time--a mere twenty-four hours--had passed since I had first heard Clark's voice again; it felt as if surely a year or more had been lived in that dark cell Multiple that by a billion and you get Clark's experience. So I smiled at him as if it were perfectly normal for us to be eating breakfast at my apartment after being rescued from a grim, life-or-death situation. Actually, I thought with a slight frown, that *had* been somewhat normal for the reporting team of Lane and Kent. I was going to say the same thing.  He raised his brows in mock surprise, then tried to hide his wince of pain. Not good at all if moving his eyebrows hurt.  Clark Kent was...cheerful, and hopeful, and sometimes annoyingly careful, and...and a lot more things that ended in -ful because the truth of the matter was that whatever Clark might be, he was wholeheartedly and completely that thing. To use another -ful word...very, very insightful statement! "And he wouldn't find you at your place?" the inspector questioned sarcastically. I agree Bill. Seems a little fishy to me...even with Superman back in action. "Or Superman started it himself." Clark's mutter was so quiet that I was the only one who heard it. Hmmmmm...... "It...was green." Clark spoke only in a monotone, his voice dead, his eyes blank, his body frozen.
"What exactly did it do to you?"
Finally, Clark did move, his eyes turning to look at the TV where Superman was using rubble to build a dam that held back the effects of the ensuing tidal wave. "It made me weak. It made me vulnerable. It made me...broken." Lois, meet your new clues. Clark met his gaze without flinching. "Trust me, Chief. He knew there was a fire. So why didn't he report it to the police? He always used to try very hard to work with the regular authorities. So why did he just leave? He knew we needed that evidence." *is now more certain that Superman isn't Superman and that Clark *is* Clark* Only I heard Clark whisper, "Maybe one." And when I saw his eyes drift once more to the image of Superman, I felt a chill run down my spine. Yeah, it's gotta be Clone Supes. Fabulous chapter! I love how well you portray a haunted Clark, yet manage to put a lot of tenderness into his and Lois' interactions. Nicely done! So, we can have Chapter 6 tomorrow, right?
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
I really like how Lois keeps on making new discoveries about Clark and then adjusts, trying so hard to be what he needs. And now that the Clark she knew has gone, she is beginning to realise all the wonderful things he brought to their friendship simply by being Clark. The first person is working well - keeping us in the dark about what Clark is thinking  Corrina.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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This story is AWESOME! I would have never guessed you were going in this direction with it. And I really love Season 1 Lois - you write her so well! Can't wait for the rest and of course I don't mind if the story is LONGER. That's crazy talk! 
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oh this is excellent! Time stops for me as I read this story -- it's so compelling! And heck no, I don't mind if it goes over 21 chapters!! Keep it coming!! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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What a predicament Clark is in. He has to try to warn them about Superman without (a) sounding like a paranoid crazy man nor (b) giving himself away. Worse, even if he *wanted* to give himself away - if only to Lois - he can't even do that, because he has no powers! Which means if he tries to give himself away, he'll end up sounding like a paranoid crazy man. I like the solution he has come up with... plant seeds of doubt. Of course, right now everyone is rushing to defend Superman, but the doubt has been planted, and one can only hope that it's just be a matter of time until Lois starts to realize something just isn't right. Well, she already knows something isn't right, but she thinks the something that's not right is Clark, not Superman. Very interesting. Agonizing, but interesting. It was downright scary to watch the change in Clark when he looked out the window. Here's where, as Corrina said, the first person works so well. Lois hasn't got a clue. I do wonder if Lex knows about the sun, though. He observed Clark, presumably trying to find out more about Superman's powers, but did he expose Clark to the sun to see its effects? If not, perhaps he thinks Clark's powers are gone for good, and Clark is not a threat to him? I certainly have no objection to this story extending beyond 21 chapters. Although, I admit I'm hoping you will finish writing soon, if only because you promised once you'd finished the story you would speed up the posting schedule! Looking forward to more...
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I agree with everyone else. Please - at least 21 chapters, or more! (Especially if they are as meaty and as good as the most recent chapter you just posted.)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Ditto to all said. More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Clark is still endearing and sweet, but definitely broken.  Too see him curled up in Lois's chair just trying to catch a little sunlight tugged at my heartstrings. Plus having Perry help him shave <<shudder>> with a razor. Poor Clark! He doesn't know how to be without his powers. At first when Henderson saw Clark, I was wondering if he knew that Clark was Superman. I just got that feeling. Hopefully Clark can put some doubt into Lois and Perry that this new Superman isn't the real Superman. But if that (clone) Superman (Clonerman? Nah!) starts to do some bad deed, really bad deeds in Superman's name, it will be more difficult for the real Superman to return. I agree with Vicki, Lex doesn't know that Clark will get his powers back. Sadly, neither does Clark. AntiKryptonite - the more parts the merrier... Oh, gosh, that doesn't really ring true for this dark fic. -- I meant it in the nicest way possible.  Keep it coming.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
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A perception aided by the bruises so starkly apparent on his cheekbone beneath the beard, on the bony wrists emerging from the robe's sleeves, on his sharply defined collarbone and descending in a bluish mass lower on his chest and beneath the robe, all of them black and ugly in the light of day and freedom. All of them as much a mute testament of what had been done to him as the haunted cast to his features, the guarded wariness as he looked about him, the painful shadows beneath his bespectacled eyes, the trembling of his hands, and the fact that he couldn't walk the length of my small apartment without growing tired enough to collapse.  the wince of pain as he shifted in the chair heartbreaking. This entire chapter (at least, so far) is heartbreaking. Clark Kent was...cheerful, and hopeful, and sometimes annoyingly careful, and...and a lot more things that ended in -ful because the truth of the matter was that whatever Clark might be, he was wholeheartedly and completely that thing. Well said! "In fact...I can't do much of anything right now." The lump in my stomach metamorphosed into delicate butterflies that couldn't seem to find anywhere to land. Brilliant. Superman's heroic actions were reflected on the lenses of his glasses; the red and blue masked Clark's gentle, tormented eyes from me. This is a phenomenal picture of Lois' relationship with both of Clark's personae throughout the entire first season. This was a very difficult chapter to read, but that is a tribute to your writing. Poor Clark! Joy, Lynn
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Posts: 351 |
So many great comments to agree with here! Fantastic job writing this, even though it is a torture at times to read, but poor Clark!!  I think Clark being able to ask Perry for help in shaving shows he was ready to accept help, at least in this, and is remarkable in itself; he definitely was too shaky/trembling to try it himself. Your descriptions and interactions are awesome! Some moments I wondered if Henderson or Perry have any idea, but other times- I guess not. Very intriguing story. Please keep it coming!!!
EvelynC
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Something else just occurred to me regarding Clark's comments about getting his parents to safety before Luthor did anything. So it appears Clark had warning of Luthor's knowledge of his secret, enough time to get them away to some secret place. But he still could not save himself, probably because of the clone, but..  So many questions I can't wait to see how you answer!!!
EvelynC
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
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Posts: 966 |
Deadly Chakram, thanks for the detailed feedback! And I loved your comment about how much worse Clark must feel compared to Lois’s experience. I’m glad the –ful comment worked; I wasn’t sure it was clear enough, but I just couldn’t bring myself to cut it. And chapter six is a bit late compared to your wish, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!  Thanks, Female Hawk! Having Lois adjust to be what Clark needs is actually what I really wanted to show throughout this story, so I love that you pointed it out. Glad the 1st person POV is working--I just hope no one gets TOO impatient waiting for all these answers! Thank you very much, stephnachia. I was worried about doing S1 Lois, so I’m delighted that it worked out well! And I had to laugh at your reply to my question about extra chapters! Thanks for the encouragement! Your comment was beautiful, mozartmaid--seriously, that’s something I think every writer wants to hear! Thank you! I love all the speculation and thought you put into your feedback, Vicki! Reading what you think of the story and what you guess keeps me on my toes and keeps me trying to write better! And I promise, I’m trying to finish it soon. Chapter 16 is giving me fits, but I’m working very hard to get it done tonight! Thanks, IolantheAlias! I was a bit worried about the length of most of the chapters, but I’ve been assured by several people that it’s fine--thanks for adding your vote too! Laurach, thanks for reading and enjoying! VirginiaR--actually, that picture of Clark curled in the chair in a sunbeam is one of the first images I formulated and one of the major reasons I decided to be brave and start this story! Thanks for the feedback--and for being okay with more parts! Thanks for your compliments, Lynn! I’m delighted you pulled the quote of Superman’s colors reflecting in Clark’s glasses and hiding his eyes from Lois. That’s one of my favorite lines. This story has been a lot of fun in that I’m able to slip a lot of those in there! And I promise that things eventually do get better! I love dialogue, but the more people you add into the conversation, the more difficult it becomes—so I’m glad it worked for you, EvelynC! And all will be explained, eventually--hope you’re all patient with me! Thanks for the great comments! Everyone, thank you so much for your great response to this story! I hope you all know how much your feedback means! 
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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How like first season Lois to think this about Clark - who expected *him* to be extraordinary? But at least she seems to be figuring things out Or, I thought slowly, were all those little oddities part of what made him so special? My heart is breaking hearing what he's been through. Even though he is Superman, it still might be difficult to recovery. And his distrust for Superman makes sense to us but poor Lois. Joan
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Wow, I was worried it would be hard to show everything that Clark had been through without the advantage of seeing through his POV, but it must have worked out all right!
Thanks for the feedback, scifiJoan!
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
When I woke, the place at my side was empty and cold. I lifted my head, instantly awake and concerned. Even when he's half dead? A smile curved my lips when I saw Clark curled up in the chair near the window, his features peaceful, his color warm and golden as the sun bathed him in its light. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww "Good." Content, Clark turned his face once more to the sun. I wondered how many days--or weeks--it had been since he had last seen the morning sky. Hope he didn't deep discharge "I can do it," he said hurriedly, and I scolded myself for my tactlessness. Tact wasn't a quality I had ever seen the need of cultivating--reporters didn't get front page stories through diplomacy--but now I wished I had. From the date on my ATM receipt the night before, I knew I had been held in that cell less than twenty-four hours. Wow, that was fast. Wonder if her absence was even noted. From the amount of relief in Perry's voice when I had called him, I gauged that there had been no ransom note--not that I had expected there to be--and that my co-workers had been caught between fear that I had been kidnapped and a suspicion that I had gone undercover to work on a secret story. It wouldn't have been the first time--for either possibility--though both had become rarer in the past two months. So, it was noted. And  "Can you read minds?" I demanded suspiciously. "Because it's a bad habit!" At least, in others. He's not saying he would forgive Lex, is he? But then, Lex hasn't hurt Lois. Too much. So... I guess it's just a scuffle between boys. His voice broke the slightest bit on the last word. I didn't notice. I was staring at him--flat-out, jaw-on-the-ground, eyes-popping-out-like-a-cartoon staring at him. Because I hadn't even known people like that existed.
Superman, I reminded myself. Superman was like that.
But Superman had special powers and an extraordinary history and an eye-catching Suit. He was bound to be extraordinary. But my partner? The small-town nobody who stood when a woman entered the room and carried a handkerchief in his pocket and said hello to everyone on the street and would give the jacket off his back to anyone in trouble--who expected *him* to be extraordinary? Or, I thought slowly, were all those little oddities part of what made him so special?
And how had I forgotten that this was the type of man he was? Poor Clark. So close. So far. . "Be careful what we say. Luthor...might have planted bugs in your apartment while you were in the cell." And cameras. "Not that I have a lot of proof I can hand you at the moment aside from the bruises I gave him," I said acerbically, "but it was Lex Luthor. Clark says he's the Boss." I thought they weren't going to tell anyone? And would you mind turning on the news? We might find out where...Superman...is right now." Worried he might listen in? But if Lex had planted bugs, why is Superman even a worry? Henderson sighed as he removed his tinted glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I've dealt with victims who've been held by a madman, Lane. Even when it's just for a night or two, the trauma is extensive...and it can be very long-lasting." Another reason for a loooooong story "I can be patient!" I insisted haughtily. Hadn't I already been patient? Hadn't I been kind even though I wanted to shake him and find out why he had been so wary of Superman? I had even made breakfast--didn't that count for anything? 
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Okay, I laughed out loud from your very first statement, Darth Michael--yes, even when he's half-dead, he has to to run off to return that video. It's a month overdue by this point, after all.  And your last comment--perfect for this story. Being in the dark can be so much fun. 
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Originally posted by AntiKryptonite: Being in the dark can be so much fun. You probably don't want to mention that to Lois. She might have you stay at the Mendenhall Clinic under Deter's care just for mentioning this heresy. Michael 
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
 All right--obviously there are some very definite objections!
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