Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Sorry for the long delays between posting! Unfortunately, chapter 16 kind of caused a traffic jam. However, I finally finished it tonight--an achievement I am, at this moment, considering monumental! smile

Anyway, I hope to finish the rest in the next two weeks or so, and after that, I promise I will speed up the posting!

Thanks for your patience--and for commenting!

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Wow! Lois's emotions were all over the place. First, she cares for Clark feelings, but then has to satisfy her own.

Then, she stammers through her flight with 'Superman' -- who likes capes and flying, too, huh? Imagine that.

Quote
Holding me securely with one arm, he reached back and gathered his cape, then wrapped me in its warm, red folds.
Beautiful imagery.

Quote
He was like all the stories of knights in shining armor and prince charming and angels put together...and yet he was real. I could feel his heart thumping steadily beneath my hand, could feel his chest rising and falling with his breaths, and was warmed by my proximity to his skin.
Oh, Lois, Lois, Lois. <<shakes head>> He's not real; he's a fantasy. Clark is real.

Quote
"I come here a lot," Superman explained quietly, finally looking away from me to survey the magnified stars around us. "Between the stars and the Earth, not part of either one--this is where I belong. It's quiet up here, serene, and yet, looking down at the cities below, I can see how much I am needed. I have the might, which means I have the right to do what I can to help people."
The quote of Superman's canon line to Lois spoken juxasposed with Vatman's line about might is right, gave me chills.

And her nightmare, where Superman drops away and she's left holding Clark's glasses. Can we say "BIG HINT" Lois? Sigh. She's still blind.

I love the end of this part:

Quote
Besides, he felt so good and so safe, as if nothing could hurt me while he was protecting me. So I muted my inner argument, and I pressed closer to Clark, and I relaxed when he tightened his own arms around me, and I slept.
Superman may have got to fly with her, but Clark got to sleep with her. laugh


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Quote
"I hope you're right, Lois." There was something incredibly deep and profoundly sad in Superman's expression, and he turned his face away from me as if realizing I wasn't ready to see the truths written there.
Interesting... this makes me wonder what the clone's story is -- maybe he feels a deeper connection to Clark after all? Maybe that's why he released them from the cell...

Quote
"It's better if Clark doesn't see us."
I'll just bet... unclear as to what this Superman's motives are. He obviously knows he's an impostor, yet feels the attraction to Lois and must have some good in him intrinsically because his is part of Clark.

I liked this little bit of phrasing:
Quote
Trying to convince my heart that it wouldn't do any good to escape my chest
Ooh! I love all of the metaphors dancing around in Lois' dream! Excellent! hyper


Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425
Likes: 1
L
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
L
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425
Likes: 1
Another expertly written part.

My reaction to the whole flight scene was very mixed. Normally, I love WAFF, but you made 'Superman' just 'off' enough to keep the reader mindful that this is NOT Clark. (Example: The 'might makes right to help' line. That definitely sounds like a Luthorized/clonized version of 'I'm here to help.'") If this were Clark, especially if this were post-revelation Clark, I'd have melted into a puddle with all of the WAFFyness of this part.

But as it is, I am just left uneasy. I cringed with each bit of info Lois told 'Superman': about Clark, about the investigation, about anything that Luthor would find of strategic interest. I can't tell what 'Superman's' motives are, or how closely he aligns himself with Luthor. I get the impression that he is not entirely Luthor's puppet, and that perhaps he is more Clark-like than Vatman was in his attitudes, but I still don't trust him.

Interesting dream. It looks like Lois's subconscious may be aware that CK=S, even if her conscious mind is not.

Joy,
Lynn

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,208
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,208
Great part! I saw that little glimpse of the 'child-like' SM from Vatman when he got sort-of excited about his cape near the end of their conversation.

And maybe Lois will figure out Clark is really SM on her own. It sounds like maybe her subconscience is trying to tell her something and she made the comment about Clark never lying... that's a SM trait big-time. Surely she will figure this one out although, now it's a lot more far-fetched than before. It would be hard for anyone to convince themselves that Clark was SM if you see the two of them separate and you're supposed to believe that Lex made a clone of SM and he's working for Lex and... yeah - this should be interesting. evil


A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul.

-George Bernard Shaw
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142
Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142
Likes: 3
Quote
But in the end, I just couldn't stay inside. Lois Lane had been resurrected such a short time ago, and she was much too alive now for me to hold still.
Uh-oh.

Quote
"Good evening, Lois."
Uh-oh.

Quote
His amused smile was rare and even more amazing than his usual stern expression. "I mean...a lift." And his arms lifted me from the ground and collected me close to his chest.

And I was flying.
No, no, no, no, no!!!!!

Quote
"No." Superman drew me a little closer to himself, his skin radiating a warmth almost enough to counteract the January chill around us. "I am different. But there are some things that are the same."
Um, hi Lois. Does this sound like a *normal* Superman to you????

Quote
"Yes." Superman met my questioning eyes, his expression grave. "Trust me, Lois: had I known there was a fire there, I would certainly have protected those men."
Noooo.....you are covering for them. If everyone thinks the men who captured Lois and Clark are dead, then they get away with it all.

Quote
Oddly, his downcast expression reminded me of Clark.
How many clues do you need woman??? Sheesh!

Quote
"I hope you're right, Lois." There was something incredibly deep and profoundly sad in Superman's expression, and he turned his face away from me as if realizing I wasn't ready to see the truths written there.
Hmmm....genuine concern? Or play-acting?

Quote
"If I can," he replied succinctly, the tiniest hint of a smile lifting the right corner of his mouth. "I am kept somewhat busy with emergencies."
What? No alarm bells, Lois? This Superman does not *want* to take down Luther. Odds are, he's working *for* Luthor.

Quote
I couldn't begin to understand why he had singled me out among all the reporters swarming around the Messenger launch
Well, you *were* the only reporter at the Messanger launch that almost got exploded. laugh Just kidding...kinda....

Quote
And now...now I wouldn't hesitate to call it true love.
wallbash And here you were making sooooo much progress in loving Clark, Lois.

Quote
"I come here a lot," Superman explained quietly, finally looking away from me to survey the magnified stars around us. "Between the stars and the Earth, not part of either one--this is where I belong. It's quiet up here, serene, and yet, looking down at the cities below, I can see how much I am needed. I have the might, which means I have the right to do what I can to help people."
Again - warning bells much????

Quote
An almost childlike grin changed the superhero's entire demeanor. "I like it, too." He sobered quickly, however. "I'd better be going. I'm required elsewhere."
Supes is starting to sound like a robot. Wake up and notice it, Lois!

Quote
"He took you flying?" There was a bleak, yet oddly wistful, note to Clark's voice that paused me and dampened my frustration. I hated this. Why couldn't Clark just be happy with friendship? Why did he always have to compare himself to the superhero? Why couldn't he understand that he was perfect just the way he was and that he didn't need to fly to be special in his own way? Why hadn't *I* understood that before now?
*heart breaks*

Quote
Daring to loosen a hand from around his neck, I pushed the blankets aside so he could slide in beside me, then rearranged them over him when he settled himself next to me.
I was so hoping that this would happen! Maybe it will help them both to heal a bit.


What a great chapter. I particularly loved Lois' nightmare...how Clark and Superman sort of almost morph into one. Maybe this will help Lois start to put the pieces together. I'm so grateful that Lois didn't breathe a word about what Jimmy is up to to Superman.

However, I'm frustrated beyond belief that Clark is still holding so tightly to his secret. But that's the mark of a good writer - to make the acudience respond emotionally to what is going on in a story.

Nice work and post more soon please!


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Wow great imagery all around. Ditto to what everyone else said. Superman sounds an awful lot like Clark. Maybe he will turn out to be on their side I hope. But Clark needs to get his strength back. More soon. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
I had my heart in my throat during the entire flight with Superman. I kept expecting something terrible to happen. What I *didn't* expect was Superman's comment to the effect that Lois couldn't comprehend how much Clark had suffered. He sounded genuinely concerned. (Of course, this was from Lois's POV, but usually we are able to see clearly when she is being misled, yet in this case it did seem even to me that Superman was saddened by Clark's suffering. Which, frankly, confused me. confused )

I also wondered at his use of the term "innocent" to describe Clark.

He seemed surprised to learn that Lex was the person who caused Lois harm. Will this knowledge be the impetus for him to easedrop on Lex's conversations (as he did in "Vatman") and eventually change his loyalties from Lex to Clark?

Interesting twist on "might makes right".

The ending was thumbsup

Looking forward to reading more! (Can I add that I'm also exceedingly curious now to read Chapter 16? laugh )


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186
Still reading and enjoying v. much. I too was waiting for something terrible to happen during the flight with Superman, and I also read that scene v. carefully analyzing every nuance trying to figure out just who/what this Superman is.

It totally broke my heart when Lois returned to find Clark waiting to make sure she was fine. frown

Also I found it v. interesting that Clark is sleeping his glasses - I'm wondering what, if anything Luthor has threatened if Clark were somehow to try to reveal to Lois about what was *really* going on, as far out as that seems.

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Had to laugh at your last comment, VirginiaR. smile As to her not being able to make the connection...well, there are two guys there. smile1

Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142
Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142
Likes: 3
Quote
Love the detailed feedback, Deadly Chakram. Just keep in mind that Lois didn't know Superman very well when he left, and when Clark was first developing Superman, he did keep his dialogue a bit stiffer than later on in the show. And I'm delighted that you care so much about the story--t makes writing it worth it all!
True, but Supes never sounded robotic in those early days. I'm giving Lois a pass on not picking up on robotic anti-Supes because of all of the emotions she's got swirling inside of her. laugh


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181
Likes: 29
Kerth
Offline
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181
Likes: 29
Great job on writing Superman. He was *almost* right, but not quite. I think if Lois had been a little less goggle-eyed and a little more in reporter-mode, she *might* have realised that.

However, it made perfect sense that she didn't. This Superman cannot be Clark. And she's just so glad to have SM back, that she doesn't want to investigate too deeply - even though Clark has practically begged her to reconsider her views about the superhero.

*Very* interesting take on the 'triangle'.

Corrina.

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Thanks, Female Hawk! One of the reasons I began writing this story was to explore what might happen to the 'triangle built for two' if there were really three people. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Thanks for commenting!

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724
Likes: 1
S
Merriwether
Offline
Merriwether
S
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724
Likes: 1
I'm wondering what the clone knows of what Clark endured.

Quote
There was something incredibly deep and profoundly sad in Superman's expression, and he turned his face away from me as if realizing I wasn't ready to see the truths written there.
Clue in Lois!

Quote
"Friends?" Superman repeated.
Shouldn't this get your reporter sense going?

What a dream with Superman's cape turning into Clark's glasses. Looks like Lois is starting to put the pieces together on a subconscious level.

I wish Clark could tell Lois that Superman isn't the real one but he's not ready.

Joan

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Thanks, scifiJoan! It would be nice if Superman clued Lois in, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, that would cut my story awfully short. smile

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Quote
Lois Lane had been resurrected such a short time ago, and she was much too alive now for me to hold still.

Slinging on a jacket, I made certain to lock the door carefully behind me. With any luck, Clark would sleep deeply and never know I had briefly left.
Oh boy.

Quote
With even better luck, I'd be able to find Superman.
Oh *boy*

Quote
"Superman?"

"Good evening, Lois."
Oh *BOY*!

Quote
"Why don't I give you a lift?"
Oh boy. Oh boy.

Quote
Superman's chuckle rumbled through his chest, making his amusement a sensation I felt as well as heard. "I'm rather fond of it myself."
He does sound a lot like the genuine article.

Quote
"I enjoy the small pleasures as well the large, Lois." His voice caressed me; his eyes enflamed me.
Maybe he is a tad tipsy.

Quote
"I should have known. Clark said you were probably just like us, that without the flying you could be an ordinary person."

"No." Superman drew me a little closer to himself, his skin radiating a warmth almost enough to counteract the January chill around us. "I am different. But there are some things that are the same."
And self-important, seasoned with a healthy sex-drive.

Quote
"Yes." Superman met my questioning eyes, his expression grave. "Trust me, Lois: had I known there was a fire there, I would certainly have protected those men."
I had this really weird thought. What if Lex traded bodies?

Quote
He arched a brow in an almost sardonic expression. "Henderson said Clark sounded like he thought I left them there on purpose."
Uh-oh.

Quote
"He and I are already working on proving that Lex is behind all this."

"Luthor?" Superman shifted me in his arms so he could peer into my face.

"Didn't you see him at the warehouse?"

"No. Is he the one responsible for hurting you?"
Is it possible Cloneman doesn't know? Or maybe, more to the point, Lex sent him there to rescue them, telling Cloneman about how he found out where Lois and Clark where being kept? Hmm... yes. That might be it. Plus, Lex also added a bit of Lois's DNA to the mix. Thus he ensured, a) lot's of Superman-love and b) lot's of trust in whatever nonsense Lex might spew forth. Plus, Cloneman would have not the slightest idea that Clark's been Superman. One might even go so far as to say, Superman vanished during Nightfall and when Lex woke up Cloneman, he simply told him that Cloneman is Superman, just with amnesia after getting rid of Nightfall. Yes, that could work perfectly. Especially, if Lex thinks he's getting rid of Clark's wings forever. Only question remains, is, why did he free them? Maybe so Clark could get to the information he wouldn't have divulged earlier? Oh boy, this *is* insanely convoluted.

Quote
"Yes. Clark will hardly let us turn it off. He likes to be able to see you. I don't think he quite believes any of this is real yet."
Wonder if Cloneman is able to put two and two together.

Quote
I couldn't begin to understand why he had singled me out among all the reporters swarming around the Messenger launch, or why he held me so much more tenderly during a rescue than he did anyone else, but I was extremely grateful for it.
I concur with DC, Lois did put in an effort to get noticed during the launch.
/whispers: little observed detail: the first shuttle was named Messenger. The second one wasn't named/

Quote
I have the might, which means I have the right to do what I can to help people."
He's definitely been talking with Lex. But he's also much more stable than the original clone.

Quote
A giggle escaped me--well, *not* a giggle! I did *not* giggle. It was more of a...a strained chuckle.
clap

Quote
It had been a well-known fact among the Planet's grapevine that Clark had a crush on me;
Now, there's a thought.

Quote
Besides, he felt so good and so safe, as if nothing could hurt me while he was protecting me. So I muted my inner argument, and I pressed closer to Clark, and I relaxed when he tightened his own arms around me, and I slept.
But what's Superman going to think when he sees them like that?

Quote
If I dreamed again, they vanished into obscurity.
Awwww...

You definitely have a knack for that clap

Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Wow, Darth Michael, I'm impressed--you used only two words and still let me know what you thought of the story! smile

As to your theory...it IS very convoluted, so much so that I had to read it about three times. And it's a very interesting theory--by the time we get to the end of the story, I'm afraid everyone will be bored with the answer and go back to their speculation. :rolleyes:

I loved your line about nothing changing for Lois with a crush and a brother--really summed things up neatly.

Glad you liked the dream!

Thanks for the great feedback!


Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5