Chapter 3
Superman flew as fast as he could towards the call for help. He knew the general direction he’d heard the call come from - - near the Daily Planet. Exactly where the call came from, though, he was unsure. Once he’d made his way to the front of the Daily Planet, he tried focusing his super hearing. Then, he heard the call again. “Help, Superman!” It was at this moment that he realized he recognized the voice. It was Jimmy!
Superman raced toward his friend, hoping he’d get there in time. When he finally reached Jimmy, he stopped dead in his tracks. Jimmy was tied to a phone pole. From what Superman could tell, he seemed to be unharmed.
Superman flew back into the air and used his telescopic vision to scan the perimeter. Unfortunately, whoever had done this to Jimmy either seemed to be long gone or was hiding out of sight. He used his X-ray vision, but he still couldn’t see anything suspicious. Defeated, Superman flew back to the ground.
“Jimmy, are you OK?” Superman asked him as he ripped the ropes off of his friend.
“Yeah, I’m all right.”
“Who did this to you?” Superman asked.
“This bank robber that Lois and C.K. have been investigating,” Jimmy replied. “I was walking out to get lunch down the street, and I saw her running past me. I knew it was her from the description Lois and C.K. gave in their article.”
“And then she attacked you?” asked Superman.
“No,” answered Jimmy. “She didn’t even seem to care about me when she saw me. She just kept running. I saw my opportunity to stop a potentially dangerous bank robber and maybe get a picture worthy of the front page, though, so I chased after her.”
“That was very dangerous,” Superman sighed.
“I know,” Jimmy admitted.
“What happened next?” Superman asked.
“You would have been proud of me,” replied Jimmy. “I was much faster than she was. I managed to catch up to her and knock her over. I thought I had the advantage over her, but she kicked me in the leg. I guess that was enough of a distraction for her because the next thing I knew, she was back on her feet and I had a fist in the eye.”
“You’re not hurt, are you?” Superman asked in a concerned tone.
“No, not really,” said Jimmy. “It was funny. She seemed really apologetic. She told me she was sorry. That she didn’t want to hurt me. She even took a good look at my eye to make sure I wasn’t too badly hurt. For a minute, I forgot that she was a dangerous criminal. She seemed really nice, and well, it didn’t hurt that she’s a pretty good looking woman.”
“Jimmy,” Superman said in a reprimanding tone.
“OK, OK,” Jimmy said as he smiled. “She pulled a rope out of her bag full of money and tied me to this pole after that. Then she apologized again, told me that I shouldn’t have tried to stop her, and told me I should put some ice on this eye whenever somebody unties me.”
“She’s right,” Superman replied. He then held out his hands and blew some ice into them using his super breath. “Do you have anything you can wrap this in?”
“Yeah,” Jimmy replied as he pulled out a handkerchief. “Thanks, Superman.”
“You’re welcome,” Superman replied as he wrapped the handkerchief around the ice. “Keep this over your eye for awhile. I think you’ll be just fine.”
He then flew into the air. Remembering that he’d told Lois he was going out for a cheeseburger, he stopped at a nearby fast food restaurant to get one. He knew that Lois would be pretty mad at him for taking off so abruptly. She usually was upset after one of his disappearing acts. In order to alleviate the problem, he bought two cheeseburgers instead of just one. He remembered that before he’d left, Lois seemed annoyed that he hadn’t offered to buy her a cheeseburger, so he figured this would be one way to get on Lois’ good side when he returned.
After leaving the fast food restaurant, he flew back into the air and headed towards the bank. Once he reached the bank, he flew down into some bushes, looked around to make sure nobody was in sight, and spun out of his Superman costume. After that, he checked his watch and realized his trip had taken longer than he’d expected. He’d been gone a little over half an hour. He figured that wouldn’t be a problem, though, because Lois usually got caught up in interviewing people when she was on a big story and therefore might still be in the bank. So, he walked into the bank and looked around. Unfortunately, Lois was already gone.
“Clark Kent, Daily Planet. Has my partner, Lois Lane talked to you yet?” he asked the manager of the bank.
“Yes, she asked me a couple of questions briefly,” he replied. “She seemed to be in a little bit of a hurry, though. She rushed right out after just a few questions. Not at all like the other reporters I'd spoken with.”
Leaving the scene of a crime without learning all that much from a witness? That didn’t sound like Lois.
“Did she happen to say where she was going?” asked Clark.
“No, she didn’t.”
“I guess she probably went back to the Planet,” Clark said to himself. “Thank you very much for your time, sir.”
*****
At the Daily Planet, Clark exited the elevator and looked around. He spotted Lois talking on the phone with her feet propped up on her desk. Next to her desk, she had several different types of cleaning supplies, and she was wearing a blue uniform with the words ‘Wayne Financial’ printed on the back of it. As she spoke on the phone, she jotted down notes every so often on a pad of paper in her hand.
Clark’s first reaction was to wonder what Lois had gotten herself into this time.
“Lois, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Clark said as he approached her desk.
“Now you know how I feel when you suddenly disappear on me,” Lois said sarcastically. “And, shhh… I’m on the phone with Dr. Banks right now. Some of us care more about getting the story than filling our stomachs.”
“Speaking of which, your lunch is probably cold now,” Clark said as he threw the cheeseburger onto Lois’ desk.
“That’s okay. I already ate,” Lois said to Clark. Then, she said into the phone, “No, I wasn’t talking to you, Dr. Banks. My partner finally returned from his lunch break. Uh huh… yes… Thank you very much. I’ll be sure to call you back if I have any more questions. Okay, good bye, Dr. Banks.” She hung up the phone.
“Where have you been?” asked Clark.
“I found this sheet of paper.” She handed it to Clark
Clark examined the paper for a few seconds. “It’s a list of banks in the area. All of them but Wayne Financial were robbed by our suspect.”
“Exactly,” Lois replied. “That’s why I got a job as a janitor at Wayne Financial. I figure I might be able to catch her in the act of the crime.”
“We should give this to the police,” responded Clark.
“I already did. I wrote my own copy of the list first, though, for my own purposes.”
“I think this is a bad idea,” said Clark. “First of all, you should have consulted with me before deciding to go undercover. Second of all, we still don’t know how dangerous The Tickle Bandit is. I don’t like the thought of you putting yourself in danger.”
“The Tickle Bandit?” Lois asked with a shudder.
“That’s the name I was thinking of giving her in our article.”
“I don’t like it,” Lois replied. “How about The Tickler?”
“The Tickler?” asked Clark. “I guess that sounds alright. I don’t really care what we decide to call her. I’m more worried about what she might do next. And now, you’re going to be in the crossfire if something goes wrong. I still wish you had talked to me before deciding to go undercover. We might have been able to come up with something less dangerous if we talked it out first.”
“You took off,” replied Lois. “How can I ask you your thoughts about going undercover if you’re not there?”
“You could have waited,” said Clark.
“I’m impatient.”
“I know,” Clark said with a snicker. “Maybe I should apply for a job there, too. I could be a bank teller or something.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. If The Tickler uses that drug on you, you’ll melt into a pile of mush,” Lois said as she poked at Clark’s sides, causing him to jump a little. “On the other hand, I’m not ticklish. I’ll be much better off alone. You’ll just get in the way.”
“Fine,” Clark gave up.
As he’d thought about it over the next several moments, Clark decided that he may have been making too big of a deal out of the situation. Under regular circumstances, he wouldn’t give up so easily, but the truth was that Sarah Carter didn’t seem like all that dangerous of a criminal. Nobody had been killed or injured in all her previous robberies. The only weapon she carried during any of her robberies was a feather duster-gun. What’s the worst that could happen? Lois gets tickle tortured? She seemed pretty resistant to tickling anyways.
“Now, I talked to Dr. Banks to see what Sarah stole from him. I wanted to know what I’m getting myself into,” explained Lois. “He told me that she stole several feather-duster guns, an unknown quantity of the sensitivity drug, and a few pairs of something he called tickling boots. He says she took both men and women sizes.”
“Tickling boots?” Clark asked.
“Apparently, they were designed to look like any ordinary boots,” explained Lois. “There’s a remote control that can switch the boots from being inactive to being active. Once they’re active, the person wearing the boots gets a tickling feeling on his or her feet. Also, once active, the boots are magnetically sealed to the person’s feet and are basically impossible to remove.”
“Interesting,” said Clark. “What will they think of next?”
*****
At Wayne Financial the next day, Lois went about her duties as the new janitor. She’d already cleaned the windows, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted the counters, and swept the floor. She was currently in the process of emptying the garbage cans when a woman in a trench coat walked past her and got in line. Lois studied her face and realized that it was Sarah Carter, The Tickler. Thinking fast, she ran over to the manager of the bank, grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her into her office.
“What is the meaning of this?” Patricia Woods, manager of Wayne Financial, asked irately.
“You see that woman in the back of the line?” asked Lois. Patricia nodded. “That’s a bank robber known as The Tickler.”
“How do you know this?” asked Patricia.
“I’m a reporter from the Daily Planet,” Lois explained. “I took this job as a janitor so I could work undercover here. I had reason to believe this bank would be her next target, and I was right.”
“What do we do?” Patricia asked in a frantic tone. “This bank has never been robbed in all the time I’ve been the manager here. I literally have no idea what to do in an emergency like this. I have three children and a husband at home!” It was clear that Patricia was panicking.
“Listen,” Lois said calmly. “The last time she robbed a bank, she tickled the bank manager to get the vault code out of her. She didn’t hurt anybody. She just tickled her. I suspect that she’ll do the same now. Just go out there and let her think nothing’s wrong while I call the police.”
“I can’t do that!” Patricia yelled as tears ran down her eyes. “I’m afraid! How can you guarantee that she won’t hurt me?”
“Would you feel better if I stall her by pretending to be the bank manager?” asked Lois. “I can stall her, and you can call the police.”
“Fine,” Patricia said as she took off her name tag and put it in Lois’ hand. “You’ll have to change out of that janitor’s uniform, though. Nobody will believe you’re the manager otherwise.”
Outside, The Tickler had finally reached the front desk. She immediately ripped the trench coat off to reveal her usual leather costume. She then pointed at the gun in her holster and said, “Listen up, everybody, empty all of the money into this bag. Nobody needs to get hurt. And another thing. I’ll need to speak with your manager about opening the vault.”
As she spoke, Lois exited Patricia’s office. She was now wearing a white blouse, a black skirt, Patricia’s nametag, and a pair of black high heels.
“I’m the manager,” she said confidently. “And, you’re not getting into that vault.”
“When will you fools ever learn,” said The Tickler. “I always get what I want.”
Lois lunged at the bank robber and knocked her to the ground. The Tickler and Lois wrestled around for a minute. At first, Lois seemed to have the upper hand against her enemy. She’d successfully managed to pin The Tickler to the ground and was sitting on top of her. Unfortunately, The Tickler managed to reach into her belt and pull out a needle. She jabbed it into Lois’ arm, surprising her and causing her to wince in pain. The Tickler took advantage of this and flipped Lois onto her back. Now, Lois was the one pinned to the ground.
Finally, The Tickler pulled a rope out of her utility belt and managed to tie Lois to a nearby chair. Lois struggled to get loose, but her struggling was of no use. She was firmly tied down.
“Give me the bank code, honey, and make this easy on yourself,” ordered The Tickler.
“You’ll never get it out of me,” Lois replied boldly. “I’d die before giving up.”
“You won’t have to die, darling,” The Tickler said as she squeezed Lois’ cheek. “I don’t kill people. I don’t even use a real gun. See?” She pointed at the feather duster-gun, pulled it out of its holster, and stuck it right in Lois’ nose.
“Then what makes you think you can make me talk?” asked Lois.
“You can talk or get tickled,” replied The Tickler as she removed one of Lois’ heels. “And believe me; everybody chooses to talk.”
“I won’t.”
“We’ll see,” replied The Tickler.
The Tickler kneeled at Lois’ feet and pointed one finger at Lois’ right foot. Her nails were fairly long and painted a shade of dark red.
“Last chance,” said The Tickler. Lois didn’t reply, so she drew the nail slowly up and down Lois’ foot, causing Lois to twitch her foot slightly.
“Wait a minute, that actually tickled,” Lois thought to herself. Apparently the drug was more powerful than she’d expected. It didn’t matter, though. Surely the police would be here any minute now.
The Tickler began dancing her fingers up and down Lois’ foot, and Lois was actually struggling not to laugh! This was going to be tougher than Lois had thought. She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, attempting not to show any sign of weakness to The Tickler. What was it she’d told Clark? It was all about mind over matter? A strong person could will himself or herself not to be ticklish? She couldn’t have been more wrong! After a few tickles to Lois’ foot using just her fingers, The Tickler pulled out the feather duster-gun and turned it on. The feather duster attached to the gun began slowly rotating in a clockwise motion, and just as the feathers touched Lois’ toes, police sirens began howling in the background, causing The Tickler to stop abruptly.
“Thank God,” Lois thought to herself.
To be continued...
