More healing, more kids, more bonding... That enough?
Enjoy!
++++
As promised, first thing the next morning Clark flew Lois to Kansas. The usual rounds of kisses were dispersed, they all ate breakfast together, then Clark announced he had to get back for work. Lois walked him outside while the kids were finishing their food.
"Thanks for bringing me."
"Any time," he assured her. They stopped next to the barn. "Have fun."
"I will." She glanced out across the field. "Will you come out some?"
"Oh, yeah. I try to make it out every other day, when there are no emergencies or breaking stories." She nodded her understanding. "You gonna be okay?" he asked, reaching out to touch her arm.
"Oh, yeah. I'm petrified, but I'll be okay."
"Just go with what you feel." She smiled at him, causing his heart to do a little flip. "Hey, are you okay for money?" He reached for his wallet in his back pocket.
"I'm good. Mayson gave me an advance. Oh, I forgot about that proposal."
"I'll check on it today." She nodded again. "Want a hug?" She let out a breath of relief and stepped forward when he held out his arms. This felt so right, Clark thought as he squeezed tightly. When he drew back, he noticed there were tears in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she lied.
"Lois, I can't stay."
"I know." She wiped her face and smiled bravely. "I want to do this. It's just..." Her large, soulful eyes spoke volumes. She was scared and she felt safe with him.
His hand went up to cup her cheek and he offered her a warm smile. "Call me, any time." He pulled his hand away and dug a card out of his jacket pocket. He also took out a pen so he could scribble his cell number on the back. She took the card with a grateful expression.
"Go, before I change my mind."
"Okay." He stepped back and became a whirlwind. When he stopped, he was dressed as Superman and she had a brow arched at him. "Impressed yet?"
"Nah," she told him with a grin.
He chuckled and lifted into the air. Hanging about twenty feet from the ground he gazed at her a final time, then was gone. He smiled when he heard her say wow. He missed her already, but knew she needed to do this. She needed time with the twins to help gain the confidence she needed to become their mother. She'd be okay; she was in good hands.
Lois walked slowly back toward the house, feeling more lost than she had when she was with Lex. Why was it that she felt this way about Clark Kent? From the first day she'd met him, she'd felt comfortable with him. The feeling had only been confirmed when she started getting to know him. He was one of a kind and right now she missed him horribly.
Just then the back door banged open and two little tornadoes bounded down the stairs. Her frown was replaced with a smile as she looked up into two of the most beautiful faces she'd ever seen. She'd be okay without Clark for a few days, she decided. There was more than enough to keep her busy.
****
Metropolis went crazy over the next few days, as it often did. Clark chased down a few more follow-ups to Lois' exposes, cracked a new case, and worked overtime as Superman. He'd talked to Mayson about the new proposal from the lawyers in Sydney, which nearly blew his mind. There was more money involved than he'd ever dreamed of in his life. But Franklin Luckaby had been an extremely wealthy man and with Leslie's share already divided out, the twins would receive the rest. It would be hard to get used to having so much money, but Clark figured there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it now. He and Lois both had agreed to take the money.
Clark hadn't managed to get to the farm except for the few minutes that he'd made it out to get Lois' signature for the proposal. And that had only been the same afternoon he'd dropped her off. She'd called him three times, but each time he'd been too caught up to answer the call. When he'd tried to call back, she'd been occupied. By the time he made it back to Kansas, it was late Thursday evening.
Landing in the front yard tonight, Clark headed toward the porch. He'd just stepped off the steps onto the porch when Lois spoke.
"Where the hell have you been?"
His head whipped toward the swing where Lois was sitting. He hadn't even heard her there. "I'm sorry. I've been swamped."
"How will you ever be able to help take care of them full time?"
"Things will be different once we're settled in the new house," he tried to explain as he stepped in her direction.
"I'm sure. You'll sleep a few doors down."
The tone of her voice surprised him. She was angry, really angry. "Look, there's nothing I can do to change the fact that I couldn't come..."
"But there's something you can do to change the fact that you're here." She stood up and stepped toward the door. "You can leave."
"Lois," he tried again as she pulled the screen door open.
"Don't Lois me," she said fiercely as she stepped over in front of him. "You have responsibilities now. You have more than just that damn Planet to answer to. And I know Superman is a large part of who you are, but even that has to be put on hold sometimes. Just because we weren't in Metropolis with you this week, doesn't mean we didn't need you as much as whatever you felt was more important."
Damn! She was gorgeous when she was upset. That passion was incredible to behold. He couldn't wait until she completely unleashed it again.
"Stop looking at me like you want to jump me!"
He looked away, thoroughly ashamed of himself. He wasn't thinking exactly that, but...
"Go home, Clark. And don't come back until you're ready to be part of this family."
Before he could say a word, she went inside and closed the door. He sighed heavily and hung his head in shame. She was right. He did take too much for granted where the care of his kids were concerned. This was the first week in a long time he hadn't flown out at least every other day. So why was this week any different? Yeah, Lois had needed the time with the twins, though he could have at least made a better effort to support her. He knew how fragile she was, and he knew how much she'd come to rely on him.
He looked up when the door opened and his mom stepped onto the porch.
"Mom..."
"Don't you mom me," she started as she stepped up to him. "I should tan your hide."
"I know."
"Do you? Clark, that woman is a mess and for some reason she feels like you're her anchor in the storm. You should have come or called or something."
"I know." Clark looked down in shame.
"Now, you get yourself back to the city and you think about this. When you decide it's time for you to grow up and be the man she needs you to be, you call and you better grovel like you've never groveled before."
"Yes, ma'am." He turned around and started down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom and looked up. "I'm sorry."
"I know," she replied, the frustration ebbing away.
"I talked to Mayson. I'm closing on the house Monday."
"Oh, good. I've been weeding through things, packing up some stuff..."
"I'll get a good company for the move."
"Okay, son. Go on now."
He nodded and walked out away from the house so he could change. He lifted into the air and floated just above the roof so he could look back. The curtain on the window of the room Lois was staying in was open and he could see Lois sitting on the bed crying. Feeling worse than he'd felt in a while, Clark slowly headed toward the east coast. Not sure how he'd handle this, he felt lost.
Clark had just changed into his sleep shorts when his cell phone rang. "Hello?"
"I'm surprised you're not too busy to take your call."
He pinched the bridge of his nose when he recognized Lois' voice. "Believe it or not, I feel horrible."
"Yeah, but you didn't feel horrible when you were doing it. That's the problem with people. They do things, knowing it'll hurt people, but they're not sorry until someone points out just how lunkheaded they'd been."
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I wasn't staying away intentionally."
"Intentional or not, it's done. The damage included." She was silent for a long moment, then she sniffed. "Clark," she breathed. She sounded as if she was going to say something else, but then the phone buzzed in his ear, indicating she'd hung up.
He slowly closed his cell and sighed heavily. What had he done? She needed someone she could count on. Too many people had let her down in her life. He wasn't sure why she'd decided that he was her safe harbor, but that's what he wanted to be. He wanted to help her, wanted to be the one she could turn to. Yet, he had a horrible way of showing it.
As he laid down on the bed, inhaling deeply her fragrance where she'd slept on his pillow, he vowed that whatever it took, whatever he had to do, he'd become the person she needed him to be.
And he'd become the father Jonathan Kent had been to him. He'd never had as much to lose before. Superman or not, awarding winning journalist or not, he was not about to trade his new life for the world.
****
Clark called the farm the next morning to apologize, but Lois wouldn't talk to him. He flew out for lunch, taking the time to do so, and again, she barely spoke to him. He played with the twins for a bit, then flew back to the city. That evening he was back in Kansas. He shared dinner with his family and was in charge of bedtime duties that night. He went downstairs when Collin and Perry were asleep to find Lois sitting on the porch swing.
"I've said good-bye to my folks already," he told her, receiving nothing in return. "I, ah, I have to fly back because I have to meet a source at dawn." She still didn't speak, just stared ahead unseeingly. "You look great with the kids. They seem to adore you already." Still nothing. "I'm sorry, Lois. I don't know how many times I can tell you that." When she didn't say anything, he sighed. "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fly back and just leave you here? Are we going to do this when you come back to the city?"
"Who says I'm coming back?"
His brows rose in surprise. "If you want to see the twins, you will because they are. I'm closing on the house Monday."
She turned her head slowly and glared at him. "Are you telling me that if I want to see my kids I have to play by your rules?"
"No. I'm just saying they're coming to Metropolis to live with me."
"And what if I think it's time they live with me?"
"Wow! You are the most impossible woman on the face of the planet!" He'd had enough. If she wanted to be difficult, he'd help her out. "You're not taking my kids away from me."
"Oh really?" she asked as she stood up to face off with him.
"Yes, really!" he stressed and stared her down. They played that game for a moment before she did something that Clark would have thought impossible. She raised her knee quickly and dropped him to his knees. He felt like he'd been hit with a baseball bat. Or least what he thought it would feel like. Pain shot through him like he'd never felt before. Lois had kneed him in his groin and he could actually feel it.
"I said I wouldn't do this," she said angrily. "I said I wouldn't let you get to me."
He looked up at her with pained filled eyes, trying desperately to breathe.
"I needed one person I could count on," she whispered, then ran down the steps toward the barn.
Finally able to drag in enough air to see clearly again, he slowly moved his hands away from his body and fell over to sit on his butt. He drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees as his stomach calmed. It seemed he learned more and more about his physiology every day. He'd never exactly attempted to see if something like that could hurt him, and now that he knew, he wasn't likely to try it again.
He looked up at the large structure across the yard and sighed. He'd messed up and he couldn't change it. Until she was ready to accept that, there wasn't much he could do or say to make much of a difference. Showing her that she *could* count on him was all that was left. He'd work extra hard to prove to her that he was completely different than any other man she'd ever known.
Glancing at the barn again, he wondered if it was worth it. Was this what he wanted? Did he want some kind of... relationship with Lois Lane? Sure, he was tied to her now because of the twins, but did he want more? She was complicated, a complex person with layers on top of layers of pain and confusion that would probably take years to peel away. Was that what he wanted? Each day would bring another set of rules to a game he wasn't sure how to play. Could he keep up? Did he even want to try?
As he stood up, Lois' soft crying penetrated his hearing. That sound, that simple, heart wrenching sound told him with a resounding yes, that he did want her. In whatever capacity she'd accept him. *If* she ever accepted him again, he thought as he stepped off the porch and headed toward the barn. She had climbed the ladder up to the loft and was staring out the open door at the sky.
"Can I come up?" When she didn't answer, he floated up because he was still a bit sore. His feet touched the hay and he walked over to the door. "I used to love the hayloft. Had my first camp out up here." He walked over to where she was and sat down on the other end of the hay bale. "I appreciate you showing me that I'm not as invulnerable as I thought."
"Pain is a wonderful thing, isn't it?"
"Okay, I get it. I hurt you. I'm sorry."
"Just go home, Clark. I'm still too mad to make up right now."
He sighed heavily and stood up. "Just for the record... No matter how angry I get, I'd never physically hurt you." Not receiving so much as a flinch to indicate she'd heard him, he disappeared in a flash. He flew hard and flew fast- trying desperately to make sense out of things. Was mere attraction worth all of this?
Back in the loft, Lois leaned over on her knees. She hadn't been angry in a really long time. Mad maybe, but not angry. Even when she'd been put in prison, she was more confused than angry. Of course, a million other emotions she didn't understand all warred for a place inside her mind to occupy. She gave each one a position of high esteem for brief periods, but anger was the one emotion she hadn't let come out to play. And now she knew why. People often did stupid things when they were angry. Or said stupid things. She'd certainly done that tonight.
With a huge sigh, she stood up and headed inside. The Kents were in bed so she was careful to be quiet. Lifting the phone from the cradle on the table in the hall, she dialed a number she'd already memorized. The machine picked up on the third ring.
"Clark," she started softly. "I'm sorry."
It was merely a whisper, but Clark listened to it four times. That was all she'd said.
And it was enough. It gave him a glimmer of hope that things weren't as hopeless as he thought they were. He'd fly out for breakfast after meeting his source. Then maybe he'd invite her to go for a walk.
****
Martha turned from the sink when Clark stepped through the back door. "Hi!"
"Hey." He looked around, then listened, unable to hear a sound. "Where are the kids?"
"They went to town with Lois for breakfast. I think she wanted to see if we trusted her enough to be alone with them."
"Do you?" The shocked expression on his mother's face told him he'd said the wrong thing. He pushed his hands in his pockets and sighed- something else he did a lot of these days.
"I'll pretend you didn't say that."
"And I'll go wash my mouth out with soap." He turned on his heel and started for the door.
"Don't you dare fly to town and check up on her," his mother warned him.
"Not about to. I'm going to see if Dad has some good, hard work for me to do."
"Yeah, like anything you do would be hard," his mother spat at him.
He waved over his head and kept walking. His dad had been putting up new fence posts in the field behind the pecan grove. He'd finish it for him and hopefully burn off a little steam in the process.
Deciding he might actually be seen if he put up the posts using his powers, he picked up the post hole diggers at the back of the barn, hung his top shirt on a hook, and headed toward the field. His father had made a bit of progress, nearly half the posts in on this side. He tied a length of string on the last post and set to work.
Lois walked along behind the twins as they ran toward the field where their father was working a while later.
"Daddy!"
"Daddy!" Both kids were yelling and running.
Clark put the tool down and turned to greet his tornadoes. Collin reached him first and he swung him up, hugging and kissing him on his face.
"Dad-dy," Perry whined and jerked his pant leg. "My turn."
"Your turn?" he asked as he kneeled. He set Collin on his feet as he kneeled and pulled Perry against his chest. He kissed her face, then rubbed her nose in their usual greeting. "Hi, sunshine," he told her with a grin.
"I love you, Daddy," Perry told him, a small arm still wrapped around his shoulder.
"I love you, too, sweetie."
"What 'bout me?" Collin asked.
"I love you, too, big guy," Clark told him as he reached out to pull him to his other side.
Collin giggled and wiped his small hand across Clark's large cheek. "You dirty."
"I've been helping out Papa."
Collin looked up at the posts, then on to where he saw Jonathan coming their way on the tractor. "Papa!" he yelled.
"Hey, hey. Wait until he gets here," Clark told him, holding him around his body. "Remember what I've said about running in the path of the tractor?" The boy nodded. "Daddy would be so sad if something happened to you."
"I be caful," Collin told him, then waited patiently until Jonathan pulled alongside them and stopped.
"Well, look what I see," Jonathan said as he opened the door of his closed cab. "How about my two favorite people join me for a ride?"
Collin and Perry squealed and ran toward the tractor. They'd long ago learned how to crawl up the large machine. Clark had purposely chosen that particular model for his father because of the oversized cab. There was more than enough room inside for the two booster seats Jonathan had built and installed so that the twins could ride along with him. Both children settled and waved at their parents.
Clark waited until they'd made it to the end of the fence row before his eyes met Lois'. "Hey," he said and turned to go back to work before she could answer.
Lois walked over and bent to lift a post, dropping it in the hole he'd just finished. She held it while he packed it down. She was the one who tied the string on to measure the next section. And without a single word between them, they worked together until they reached the corner. He stepped over to the end of the row and looked down the length to make sure it was straight.
"Not bad," he said, then pulled his watch out of his pocket where he'd put it to keep from messing it up. "No wonder I'm hungry," he said and grabbed the diggers so he could head toward the barn.
It was Lois who sighed this time before hurrying to catch up to him. "We make a pretty good team, huh?" she said softly, glancing over at him as they walked.
"Damn straight. Have you seen our kids?" He waggled his brows at her as they stepped inside the barn.
Despite herself, she chuckled under her breath. The sink on the back wall was too inviting, and she stepped over to wash her face. It was pretty warm out today and she was sweating like a horse. "Dang that super skin of yours," she said as she bent to splash water on her face. Clark was dirty, but he hadn't sweat a drop.
He put the tool back and walked over to wait until she was done so he could wash off as well. "What's wrong? Can't take the heat?"
"Bite me, Clark," she said as she pulled a couple of paper towels from the roll hanging beside the sink so she could wipe her face.
"Somehow I don't think you'd enjoy that as much as I would," he said and bent to wash his face.
"Yeah, well, catch me on a good day." She wiped her neck, then her arms. "Sometimes there's just no substitute for a little kinky action."
Clark paused, hands half way to his face- full of water- as his mind processed what she'd said. Heat shot through him as the multitude of wild scenarios flashed behind his eyes. After all that had happened between them, despite the angry words, even if they hadn't smoothed their disagreement over, his thoughts took off faster than Superman. He finally managed to clear his mind enough to throw the water in his hands on his face. He stood up, a wide grin on his face, water dripping down on his chest.
"Do you sweet talk all the guys like that?"
Lois stopped in her wipe-down and looked over at him. "Just the ones who go on picnics with me and my twins."
Clark kept his eyes on her as he pulled down a couple of towels. "What's on the menu?"
"Fried chicken, potato salad, biscuits, and fresh fruit." She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
She watched him as he finished his clean up. After he'd thrown the paper in the trash bin, he shrugged. "A man needs to eat."
"He needs to breathe, too, but I don't hold that against you," she told him as she turned and started toward the other end of the barn.
Clark shook his head and chuckled loudly as he followed her out. Ten minutes later, they were headed toward the pond on the back side of the property. They planned to have their lunch under the large oak next to the water.
With their blanket spread and the food laid out, Clark sat down to help Collin make his choices. Lois put food on a paper plate for Perry before helping herself.
"Do you have enough?" Lois asked Clark.
"For now," he assured her, reaching into the cooler to dig them out something to drink. "Does anybody here drink... kool-aid?"
"Me!"
"Me!" came the answer from both kids.
He gave them each a bottled kid's drink, then pulled a soda out for him and Lois. She took it with a slight nod of her head. An entire conversation passed between them as they looked at one another. He tore his eyes away from hers to concentrate on the twins. They all talked and laughed while they ate, content to let things rest for now.
"Daddy?" Perry asked when most of her meal was gone.
"Yes, sunshine?"
"Is Wois my mommy?"
Clark halted the progression of his chicken to his mouth and looked over at his little girl. She'd finally figured out who Lois was. He placed the food back on his plate so he could pull Perry over onto his lap. "Do you know what a mommy is?"
"Uh huh," the little girl said with a nod of her head. "A mommy is a nana, dis younger."
He laughed softly and hugged her close. "Something like that."
"Is her?" Collin asked.
"Yes, Collin... And Perry," he said as he tickled her ribs. "Lois is your mommy."
When Perry recovered, she grasped Clark on both sides of his face, her eyes staring into his from an inch away. "Can I call her mommy?"
"Why don't you ask her?" Clark said as he leaned forward to kiss her lips.
Collin finished his chicken, wiped his hands, and looked over at Lois. "I call you mommy?"
Lois blinked several times to keep from crying. "I'd like that," she told him softly.
"'Kay," he answered, downed his drink, then jumped up to go explore a bit.
Perry climbed off Clark's lap and walked over in front of Lois, waiting patiently for her to pick her up. When she was settled so she was facing Lois, Perry's small hands reached up to hold her cheeks. Her small nose rubbed the larger one in front of her, causing the woman to squeeze her eyes closed tightly.
"I love you, Mommy," Perry said, then slipped off her lap, chasing her brother.
Lois swayed, her emotions nearly overwhelming her. Clark scooted over and reached out to grasp her shoulder. "Pretty amazing, huh?" She could only nod as she looked up at the twins, large tears spilling from her eyes. "Lois," Clark whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Me, too." Her eyes met his for a second, then she stood up so she could go play with Collin and Perry.
This time when Clark shook his head it was for an entirely different reason. He was happy for Lois.
And glad she'd made even a little concession where he was concerned. Maybe later they'd be able to talk. He stood up and headed toward the pond where his three favorite people were skipping rocks. Or where Lois was trying to demonstrate how to do it. This is the life, he thought as he picked up a rock, kneeling beside Collin to show him how to hold it the right way. He'd never make the mistake again of letting any of them feel like he didn't cherish them.
****
Clark had ignored three phones calls and two news briefs on TV while he spent the rest of the day with his family. They all ate supper, then he and Lois shared bedtime duties. A note on the table when they came downstairs informed them that Martha and Jonathan had gone for a drive and the dishes were waiting.
"Subtle, Mom," Clark said as he started the water.
"You could have these done in like two seconds," Lois told him as she carried over dishes from the table.
"And deprive you of the experience? Not a chance," Clark said with a grin as started washing the glasses.
They washed in silence for a long while before Lois turned and leaned against the counter. "I'm gonna stay with Collin and Perry until the move." She stopped drying the bowl she held and looked up at him. "That is if I haven't earned a bed at the shelter."
Clark rinsed the dish he held, albeit a little difficultly because Lois wouldn't budge, then he moved it over to the drainer, passing it from one hand to the other behind her back. The movement brought him to stand directly in front of her. His eyes went down to hers. "You mean if you don't take them away from me."
"I guess sorry means sorry only after you make someone feel like a total heel." She shoved him backwards, dumped the bowl on the counter, and stomped out the front door.
"Damn, Clark, you must like the taste of your foot," he said to himself. He finished the dishes at super speed before he went to try to smooth this latest crisis over. Lois was sitting on the top step, her arms wrapped around her body, rocking back and forth. She wasn't crying, but she wasn't far from it. He sat down on the porch behind her, a leg on either side of her body. Slowly he leaned forward and surrounded her with his arms. That stopped her rocking and put his face next to hers. "Sorry means sorry and I need to learn that." He held her tighter, somehow knowing that right now she needed this. Her body was stiff in his grasp, the tension so thick he could feel it. "I'm not letting you go," he soothed, moving his hands over the tops of hers to slip his fingers between hers. If it was possible, she was stiffer, more defiant. "Let it go, Lois."
"I can't," she breathed.
"Not all at once..."
"Not all of it ever," she pointed out.
"No, not all, but some of it. A lot of it." He turned his face into her neck. "Right now. Right here. Scream, laugh, cry- do whatever you feel like you need to do."
"That's just it. I don't know what I feel like I need to do."
"What do you want to do?"
"I want to go claw his eyes out," she almost shouted. "I want to hit him- hard. I want to make him feel as small as he made me feel." By now she was shaking, her body not relaxing a bit under his. "I want to kick him where it hurts."
"Ouch," he said softly.
She turned her head toward his, her lips almost touching his. "I'm ashamed of myself for doing that," she told him, talking about what she'd done to Clark.
"Don't be," Clark said, pushing his wayward thoughts away from their extremely close proximity to one another.
"Did I hurt you?" she asked him.
"At the time it hurt like hell," he pointed out. Unable to stop himself, he rubbed his cheek against hers.
She drew away enough to look into his eyes. "How is it you felt that anyway?"
"I have no idea. It shocked me to no end when the pain shot through me. My stomach hurt all night."
"I'm..."
"Shhh," Clark interrupted her. "Sorry means sorry. You've said it already."
She must have believed him because she relaxed into his arms. "Will you hold me for a while?"
"All night if you need me to." And he tightened his arms.
"Thank you... for staying today."
"I'll have to go to work tomorrow."
"I know." She sighed and melted even further into his body.
Clark was content to sit there with her, listening to her heart beat. It thumped fast at first, then gradually slowed down. When she slumped, he realized she was asleep. How must she feel? Tension so bound up inside that you lash out at others for no reason? He suspected that as bad as her outbursts had been, he hadn't seen the worst yet. When that dam finally broke, it was going to be catastrophic. He just hoped they all had the strength to survive it.
****
