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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Once again--and still not said nearly enough--thanks to Anonpip, DW, and Morgana for beta-reading this story for me.
Hope you all enjoy--and please comment!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244 |
First off, what a cliffhanger! I so want to know what Clark wrote. As far as feedback goes: the words just seem to flow, riveting me to the screen, making me want to know more. I love your style, your story-telling. I love to see everything through Lois' eyes and I hate it  (especially when I know something interesting is happening with Clark & Superman). But I exert patience because I know - sooner or later - Clark'll fess up. So, to quit my rambling and repeat myself: Love it, curious to know what Clark wrote, trying to be patient until the next chapter hits the boards. ~Sira
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I agree with Sira, what a cliff-hanger! Was that a letter to Lois? Had he been thinking of leaving her and then changed his mind? Had he torn up the letter and left it for her to find and piece back together. Whatever it was left her bone-chilled. That couldn't be good. Did Superman take Clark to Luthor to be redosed? Had he been looking too good that morning on the walk to the supermarket that he needed to hurt again? Wow, what a confession to be whispered into the Lois's deaf ear. That Clark had witnessed Luthor use the Kryptonite on Superman and that it made him ordinary JUST LIKE CLARK. Hint-hint. Is Lois going to start thinking that that was why Clark hated / disliked Superman now? Was because Superman had been dosed by K and then he recovered and left Clark back at the cave? I also loved that Lois thought Clark was going to kiss her. Oh, her thoughts are headed in that direction, are they?  The banter between L&C is wonderful. Too many good lines to quote.  I especially liked her moving closer to him on their walk, enjoying his warmth. Very romantic. Only to be interrupted by Vatman! Ugh. Yes, Lois, where is Jimmy? He left several posts ago, didn't he? I hope he hasn't been captured. How long would he be gone before they should start to worry he had been gone too long? You have sucked me in. You don't have to answer my questions.  Writing them just helps me clarify my thoughts.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
Quite a cliffy you left us with! What the heck had Clark scribbled out and how much of it did Lois understand?! I want more, more, more!! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
No, what was surprising was that he was doing push-ups under that golden spotlight. And he looked...good. Not old-Clark-from-before good, but oh so much better than seemed possible after a measly fifty-six hours away from Luthor's cell. I didn't see any sign of bruising, and he was more filled out than the paltry amount of food he had been eating could account for. Uh oh! Caught red-handed Clark! But glad to see that his healing powers are speeding up! The smile that really, really should *not* look so good. His smile really should come with a warning label. "Ha!" I scoffed. "You're not even paying rent--that automatically means you've got to earn your keep."  "Everything went just as he planned." Did he threaten you, Clark? Tell you to give up being Supes or he'll deliver you back to Luthor? "I know he's wrong." Clark closed his eyes. "But...the memory's there."
And he had a photographic memory, I realized with the beginnings of despair. Ouch. Yeah. Drawback to having a perfect memory. "Clark." His smile was bleak. "That's who I am." Oh no! He's thinking of giving up the Superman role...if he even gets his powers back.  "We haven't exchanged our secrets yet," I said quickly.  Clark gave a half-shrug. "It'd be like reaching for the moon to dream for anything higher, Lois." Um, sh has a bigger secret. She loves you. "My secret, Lois--you remember how Trask said there was a meteorite called Kryptonite that could kill Superman?" *sigh* Then again, if Lois can get some, you could kill Anti-Supes. Ack! WHAT a cliff hanger! I'm literally squirming over here with the need to know what EXACTLY Clark wrote down. Please post soon!!!!!!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 37
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 37 |
Wonderful story. The dialogue is one of the best things about it, but the characterizations are also excellent. You've got quite an intriguing mystery going as well, in which you control perspective and limited point of view in a masterful way. Readers know more than Lois but we still don't know everything, which makes the story even more engrossing.
All along I've been a bit frustrated at how blind Lois seems to be, although in fairness you've written the perspective so well that it's impossible to blame her for not seeing the truth. Every time they run into Superman I do keep hoping that she'll realize something about him is wrong, and that he is *not* the real Superman. She should be intuitive about Superman as well as about Clark.
In fact, I was sort of hoping Lois would eventually figure everything out on her own, though, so I will probably be disappointed if it turns out that she just read a letter that Clark had written explaining everything, and chickened out of giving to her. That makes her investigative skills more akin to putting together a jigsaw puzzle, and plus I love the psychological dimension of revelation stories.
Anyway, I am sure you will come up with something much more original than that.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Delightful, very well done. Looking forward to more.
Clearly Clark has been re-exposed to the Kryptonite. Martha and Jonathan are in hiding so Lois is the handle Lex and his clone have on Clark.
So can we please get Lois kidnapped by an unrelated villain? Take her out of circulation long enough for Clark to be recharged?
Or just long enough for him to be able to fly and thus fly upward and get greater exposure?
Interesting that Clark is talking to Lois about the Kryptonite. Makes me think she is going to find some and hide it and thus have it when she needs to take down the clone.
Framework4
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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This is a frustrating story. I want to smack Lois for being dense and Clark for not coming clean. Why can't she just be told the truth when Superman is out doing his thing? I guess she would think he was delusional and then go run and tell Superclone. I want to hate her for being so stupid and for not even knowing that Superman is different. Can't she feel the difference? Argggg! More soon. What did Superman do to Clark!!! I thought maybe there was a chance the clone would be good. I guess not.
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Laura - Superclone - I like that!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Wow. This part had everything: humour, poignancy, and suspense, in spades. Not to mention Clark almost revealing his secret. I think he came as close as he dared to do with Superman possibly eavesdropping or Luthor's bugs possibly being in the apartment. I think he was also making sure to do everything he could -- which admittedly, wasn't much -- to see that Lois could protect herself against 'Superman,' should it be necessary.
How I wish I could have heard the private conversation between 'Superman' and Clark. And poor Clark, believing he will never be super again.
I wonder what the letter contained. I have some guesses: the revelation, a profession of love, a detailed description of what Luthor did to him in the cell and/or what threats Luthor is holding over him, a request that Lois take care of his parents should he be killed, and I could probably go on. I'm hoping that we'll be given at least a little more detail in the next installment.
I am very much looking forward to the next part.
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20 |
I've a terrible suspicion that Lois now thinks Clark is nuts, and is going to tell on him -- maybe even to "Superman". 
~•~
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Sira, thanks so much for the great feedback! You really made my day with your comment on my writing style!  VirginiaR, I had to laugh at your comment about where Lois's thoughts are headed. And I love hearing questions, especially when it means people are interested in my story! Thanks for your feedback, mozartmaid! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! Deadly Chakram, I thought it very interesting that a few of the quotes you pulled are figuring very heavily in the chapters I'm writing now. You almost seem to read my mind.  And no, we don't get to hear the private conversation; the joys and woes of POV. :rolleyes: Betty, what can I say? Your comment is going on my wall like a trophy, I think! And I hope you like where the letter goes--it actually wasn't originally planned, but I like how it turned out. Framework4, wouldn't it be great if those minor villains were around when you needed them? You just can't find good help these days, I guess! Thanks so much for reading and commenting! Hope it's not too frustrating, Laurach. I'm not trying to give anyone high blood pressure here! Thanks for the great feedback, Lynn! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter; I always worry that I don't put enough in them or that I put too much in. And I think this next chapter should answer your questions, or some of them, anyway.  We'll see, Queen of the Capes. Thanks for commenting! Everyone, thanks for the great response to this chapter. I would have made every chapter a cliff-hanger if I'd known it get this kind of feedback. :p
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1 |
Superman and Clark together can't be good. I hope he didn't bring him back to Luther. This line is so sad: "I always wanted to be Clark." He swallowed painfully. "And now that's *all* I am." Will Clark regain his powers? Or will Lex and Superman make sure he doesn't? Oh you tease! I hope we find out what Clark's letter said. Joan
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Joan, I had to laugh at your 'You're such a tease' comment! I do try. :p
Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
I was, needless to say, very surprised by the sight that greeted me when I emerged from the bedroom the next morning. Clark, dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt and already shaved, was planted squarely in the center of the sun bursting through the windows--not that that was surprising. In fact, that had become pretty much par for the course in the past two days. No, what was surprising was that he was doing push-ups under that golden spotlight. And he looked...good. Not old-Clark-from-before good, but oh so much better than seemed possible after a measly fifty-six hours away from Luthor's cell. I didn't see any sign of bruising, and he was more filled out than the paltry amount of food he had been eating could account for. Oh boy. And how did he fill out again? Are Kryptonian's actually half Delvian and he's producing his own sugar? Had Clark found more of the drug? Had he dosed himself with it? Had his awful symptoms been withdrawal rather than the direct effects of the dosing? Umm... no. The lines of tension, the marks of stress, the hints of fear, the moments of irrationality--they were hidden, dissolved away by the sun pouring into him, seemingly imbuing him with everything that made him the man I so respected and admired and...liked.
Not just tolerated as I had tried to convey to the Daily Planet staff, but really, truly liked. Maybe better than anyone else in the world. Even Superman...well, though I was certain I loved him, he was too amazing to merely *like*. Okay, one doesn't have to fault Lois for not figuring out the secret. Not with Clark and Superman being there in front of her the whole time. One *may*, however, fault Lois for being all googly-eyed over Superman and all brotherly-love with Clark. The brilliant smile.
The incinerating smile.
The smile I had scoffed at, doubted, cursed, ignored, or missed, depending on the day. The smile that had made Toni Taylor take time out from her bid to rule West River. The smile that had charmed Antoinette Baines before she tried to kill us. The smile that really, really should *not* look so good. Especially, since she keeps denial-crushing on her partner. And given his weakened physical and emotional state, Lois really could get down from her high horse and take a closer look at him. "Are you sure you should be doing all that?"
"All what?" He blinked innocently. The man was *daring* me to admit that I had stared at him while he exercised! Well, he could just keep hoping--there wasn't a chance in the world I'd accommodate him. There was absolutely no reason for my heart to start pumping at a hundred miles a minute or for the temperature to suddenly feel a bit warm. Honestly, there must have been something wrong with that sandwich I'd eaten last night. Or maybe even the smell of the chicken noodle soup had been enough to contaminate me.  And it might be even more devious. What if Lex *told* Clark to come by for regular treatments after his release? Otherwise, Superman would visit Lois and Perry and Jimmy and look for his parents...? But surely, that would be too devious, would it? Nah, not really. "I will cut vegetables, set the table, and maybe even retrieve certain ingredients for you--but I will *not* be cooking anything. Got it?"  "He said I didn't belong here. That I had to earn my keep. Buy my way into acceptance. He said I'd never...that I was an al--too different." I got it in Corrina's story, but how is our established Clark so susceptible? I tossed and turned for twenty or thirty minutes before giving up and throwing the covers back. When I padded into the living room, I was surprised to find Clark still awake. He was staring into space, the notepad balanced on his knee and the pencil laid neatly down on the table. Hmm...  "Clark." His smile was bleak. "That's who I am."
I sank to my knees beside him, my hand clenching spasmodically over his wrist. "Yes, you are." My own tone was dazed and numb. *Trauma victims will, in rare occurrences, disassociate to such an extent that they find themselves losing hold of their own identity.* The articles I had found on the Internet swam through my mind, causing ripples that upset all other thoughts in my head. That's a really nice juxtaposition of Clark completely normal thoughts and trauma interpretation. "I always wanted to be Clark." He swallowed painfully. "And now that's *all* I am."
"That's *enough*, Clark," I said slowly, meaning every word. What more could he be? How could he improve? He was everything he needed to be. Or he had been, anyway. I wasn't sure how much of that man Luthor had left me. *sigh* Lois. Lois. Lois... "Actually, I do. A very important one." The lamp left us in a silken pool of light, but shadows lapped at my feet, emphasizing the serious intensity of Clark's gaze, though the glasses obscured the specifics of his expression.
"Well?" I prompted.
"Would you turn the TV on?" He's going to tell her? "My secret, Lois--you remember how Trask said there was a meteorite called Kryptonite that could kill Superman?"
I gave a tiny nod, his hand still buried in my hair. "I named it."
His lips quirked. "I think *I* named it. But regardless...it's real."  Clark's eyes bored into mine; he enunciated each word separately. "It makes Superman ordinary, Lois. It makes him--just--like--me. It's a stone that glows green. And Luthor has it." He's prepping Lois for the day when he will not be there anymore. And after I read them, I hid what had turned out to be a letter, and I crawled into bed and huddled beneath all the blankets and still shivered with bone-deep, mind-numbing cold.  Michael PS: I peeked at the top line of the next part. Glad you're not going to let us hang too much.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Well, Clark isn't a sentient plant, but the sun is...good...for him. I agree with you wholeheartedly on what we can fault Lois for, by the way. Yes, Clark does have just a bit of an identity problem, doesn't he? Thanks, Darth Michael!
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