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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Feedback goes here.  Corrina.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
I'm enjoying your story just as much the second time around.  Joy, Lynn
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
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Great start. Poor Clark. I feel for him. Looking forward to more.
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 581
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 581 |
You just wanted us all to feel like Lois, didn't you?! Well, it worked! This is terrific so far, and I can't wait for more! I like the style - it captures Clark's perspective perfectly. So the other two parts will be coming when? Amber
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397 |
oh wow, another great story from you! i loved the part with the coffee guy :p Did you have a real life inspiration for his character?
Can't wait to read more!
LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
From the sound of her soles on the floor, she was wearing her brown shoes. They had only a half-inch heel, so there must be another reason for the brusqueness of her gait.  I've never seen an author write Clark SO tuned to Lois that he knows her wardrobe based on her footsteps. Nice! He looked up, his smile hovering in case his first sight of her gave him any hope that it might be effective in combating her mood. The moment he saw her face, his hopes were dashed. Yeah, this isn't going to go well. "He *dares* to lay a perfectly manicured hand on my shoulder and looks deep into my eyes and croons in a voice so thick you want to gag at the thought of what he could possibly have stuck in his throat, ‘I’m free tonight, sweetheart. I'll pick you up about 7:30.’
"I'll pick you up about 7:30," Lois repeated, her head shaking, and her eyes glinting fire. "Do I look like I want to be picked up? Do I look like a woman who would go out with a libido-infested ego masquerading as a man? Do I look like a woman who would find anything remotely interesting in a powdered, primped, puffed-up, pompous, pubescent playboy?" Yeah, not well at all. Despite the dubious start, this might be exactly the opening he needed. I'm guessing not. "Would you like coffee?" he reiterated, slowly and evenly. Yes, speak slowly and in small words. She may come to understand what you mean then. He hadn't managed to ask Lois for a date, but he had managed to ease her out of her irritated mood. That was progress. Perhaps when he returned with her coffee ... Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Clark. Clark reached for his tie and loosened the knot. Huh. Not a bad idea. Until Lois gets mad at Superman. The young man leant forward and dropped his voice. "Being of alien extraction, I’m guessing you’ve come for advice regarding Earth women." He winked. "You know, a few hints on how to ensure every encounter ends ... satisfactorily." Attempt number one – fail. As Marvin the Martian says "Oh well, back to the old drawing board!" By Clark's estimation, the time was ripe for attempt two. Good luck! You'll need it! Her phone jangled across his incipient invitation. And now her phone is named Jimmy. "I’ve been researching, Chief," Clark said. Behind him, he heard the doors of the elevator close – stealing Lois away from him. Ouch. It's ok, 47th time will be the charm, Clark. What if he were to ask her out via email? No. Just...no. That's only acceptable when you are doing the internet dating thing. His fingers hovered over the keyboard. He could compose something, he decided, and then if it sounded too bad, he could delete it before sending the email. That's a guarantee that he'll accidently send it. "CK!" Jimmy sprang from nowhere and shoved a handful of papers at Clark. "Look at this, CK." Oh Jimmy, you have earned your Interruptus moniker so thoroughly. "ARRGGGH!" Lois shrieked. That's beyond evil! You CAN'T end it like that. But you did. Can't wait for the next part!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1 |
Poor Clark. Don't leave us hanging too long.  Joan
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
Absolutely loved this part! I can just see how Lois' e-mail program somehow crashed, and therewith Clark's third attempt at asking her out! Cannot wait for part 2
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Lynn That's good - and the ending is better. At least, I think it is. Jackie Yeah, poor Clark.  Mouserocks Clark should have just asked her. He *tried* to!  Amber You just wanted us all to feel like Lois, didn't you?! Actually, I just wanted to write a bit of silliness  Laura Thanks! bellarase Did you have a real life inspiration for his character? No. I can't remember exactly what I was thinking when I wrote this originally, but the coffee boy seems to be pretty much the exact opposite of Clark, so perhaps I was going for contrast. DC I've never seen an author write Clark SO tuned to Lois that he knows her wardrobe based on her footsteps. Nice! He's been obsessing - even for him! Huh. Not a bad idea. Until Lois gets mad at Superman. But Superman isn't trying to ask Lois out, so that's OK Joan I'll try to keep the wait short. RL has been busy lately. DW Glad you enjoyed it Thanks for the FDK, everyone. Corrina.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,636 Likes: 44
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,636 Likes: 44 |
Okay, this is a really funny setup for a story. I wonder how many times he will keep on trying to get Lois attention. And I'm really curious what Lois is so upset about!
Great part!
It's never too dark to be cool. 
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186 |
Poor Clark. Maybe Lois got some particularly annoying spam in her inbox and that was the source of her groan. Can't wait to read the next installment.
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Joined: Aug 2011
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 23 |
You have to feel for Clark but it was very funny
Mpj
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Can't be that hard, can it? Oh, wait, took Clark a whole season and a half. Or an episode and a half, depending on whether you go for success. He wanted her to know that he saw her as far, far more than a colleague. Far more than a friend.
More even than a best friend.  He’d decided to ask her for a date. To ask now. Today. This morning. First thing. Before the bustle of stories and work and bad guys and leads and sources could crowd into their lives. Not to mention, before she gets kidnapped or he gets pulled into an earthquake. Her steps were clipped. From the sound of her soles on the floor, she was wearing her brown shoes. They had only a half-inch heel, so there must be another reason for the brusqueness of her gait. He *dares* to lay a perfectly manicured hand That's odd for a young twen selling coffee. "Do I look like I want to be picked up? Do I look like a woman who would go out with a libido-infested ego masquerading as a man? Do I look like a woman who would find anything remotely interesting in a powdered, primped, puffed-up, pompous, pubescent playboy?" Too bad Cat's no longer there to take the fall. "No," Lois said. "I think I finally got across that I wouldn’t be going out with him if he were the last male in Metropolis."
Clark grimaced. "Is he hurt much?" he asked. Clark! "Only one small part of him. Actually, make that two – very small – parts of him." Lois! Umm... couldn't that get her fired? Or arrested? "You could tell him you’re going out with me," he suggested casually. That's easy. "Clark, that is very sweet of you, but you don’t need to ask me out just to keep the freshman fop from harrassing me." /has mental image of great green scythe swinging at about a foot and a half above the ground A few quiet words were needed. Oh Clark.../shakes head/ Clark reached for his tie and loosened the knot. Oh boy. "Being of alien extraction, I’m guessing you’ve come for advice regarding Earth women." He winked. "You know, a few hints on how to ensure every encounter ends ... satisfactorily." What *is* it with that kid? "That’s OK," he breezed. "I enjoy the challenge. There’s nothing like a feisty female to separate the men from the boys." Steve Stiffler? "Do you remember Ms Lane’s reaction to your approach this morning?" "Next time, it won’t be Ms Lane’s knee; it will be mine." "Researching the local coffee shops with Lois?" Perry said sarcastically. Well, it's an *important* mood piece and the sanity of city dwellers. Attempt number two – fail. I'm starting to sense a pattern... Lois ... I want to ask you out ... on a date. Is there any chance you’d accept? Hmm... this doesn't sound too good. Not too bad. But not good, either. "ARRGGGH!" Lois shrieked. Huh... What a fun start! Michael
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
bakasi Okay, this is a really funny setup for a story. I liked the setup - I just couldn't come up with a good way to end it! Emily Poor Clark. But at least the email isn't his fault Mpj That's exactly what I felt about this story Michael Not to mention, before she gets kidnapped or he gets pulled into an earthquake. I showed restraint and didn't allow Lois to get herself into any big trouble Too bad Cat's no longer there to take the fall. Actually, I needed Cat later, so I sort of ignored that she'd disappeared by S2. Lois! Umm... couldn't that get her fired? Or arrested? Not if she discreetly *leaned* into him. Or perhaps she lost her balance. And I'm sure she gave him a lot of warnings first - she's just not in any mood to justify her actions right now. Thanks to everyone who left comments! Corrina.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Not if she discreetly *leaned* into him. Ah, yes. No officer. I just had a dizzy spell and he must have tried to stop me from falling by arresting my knee with his body. Michael
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