Another idea that crept into my head in the middle of the night- and took three or four days to write. Oh, well, as long as it ended up being written.
Carpe Diem, by the way, is Latin for "seize the day."
Disclaimer: the characters are property of WB and DC comics. This is a none-profit borrowing.
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Carpe Diem
By Julie Stars <stars_Julie@hotmail.com>
Rated PG
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Lois paced the room nervously.
Clark sighed silently, looking at her. “Lois, we haven't been very happy with each other lately. And it's my fault and I think I should—“
“Yes. Yes, it is your fault. And it's my fault.” She stopped in front of him. “We let ourselves get distracted, and we let ourselves get hurt too easily, and we work too much and we argue over stupid things...” She approached closer and softened her voice. “All so we can hide from each other and I'm sick of it, Clark. Because the only reason to hide is, we're scared.”
He looked blank. “Of what?” he whispered.
Her voice softened. “Of the fact that we're partners... and best friends... and this.” She put her arms around his neck and drew him to her for a beginning of a passionate kiss, filled with anguish.
She broke off, still holding him, her face but an inch from his. “Clark, if you're going to run from this, tell me now.”
He tightened his arms around her a little. “I'm not going to run, Lois. I'm ready to take the next step, if you are,” he replied quietly.
She hesitated for a second, lowering her eyes, and then leaned in again to kiss him. Tightening her arms around his neck, she pushed them both on the sofa behind Clark.
He turned them into a horizontal position, exploring her mouth under his all the while. She ran her hand through his hair, suppressing a stifled moan. She started tugging the hem of his shirt as he moved on to kissing his way to her ears and then down her neck.
“Clark...” her voice came through a gasp. “Don't run from me...” it was a mix of pain and haze.
This brought Clark back on the surface like a hit over the head. He stopped kissing her, yet still held her. “Lois, I won't run. Lois, listen to me.”
She looked at him, her breathing somewhat irregular. “Clark, what's wrong?”
He tipped his head forward to rest on her shoulder. After a moments hesitation he pulled them both into an upright position, never removing his hands from her waist. “Lois... you deserve to know the truth,” he sighed slightly, looking at her.
She frowned. “The truth? Clark, what did you do?” she blurted out with some panic, creating some distance between them as she shifted to sit in front of him.
He still had his arm on the small of her back. With his free hand he reached for the remote and turned off the TV. “Lois, it's nothing like that. I didn't do anything.” He felt her relax a bit. “But you deserve to know why I've been running out on you like I was. I don't want you to think I was just doing it to hurt you. You have to believe me, every time I had to go I was killing myself over it.”
She reached to caress his cheek. “Clark...”
“No, Lois, you have to listen.” He let go of her and stood up. “Look at me.” He started to remove his glasses.
“Clark, you're not going to tell me that you are the Phantom of the Newsroom, and that you really are deformed and wearing a mask, are you?” she said with a half smile.
He smiled for a brief instant and returned to his serious mood. “Lois, I'm serious. Look at me.”
Only when he stood in front of her, straight posture and glasses in hand, did she start to realize what he was trying to tell her. At first her expression showed bewilderment- but it quickly changed into disbelief and uncertainty.
She looked at him very carefully, still uncertain. “How can that be...? You're, you're not...”
He nodded. “Yes, I am, Lois.”
Her face crumpled as she stood up abruptly. “Well, why couldn't you just tell me before? All this time... what were you expecting from this relationship?” She started pacing the room again. “I hope you know me well enough to know I'd keep it to myself, and, and, you know what?” she stopped in front of him. “I don't even know who I'm talking to. I need to get some air.”
She started abruptly walking towards the door as Clark caught up to her. Now both were heading for the door. “Lois, you have to know I tried to tell you a thousand times. I felt guilty so many times for not telling you... but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Because that would have meant the end.”
They were now both outside his door.
Lois turned, an expression of shock on her face. “The end of what, Clark? I would have understood. I really would have, but you had to wait two damn years to tell me, all the while leading me to believe you were just a regular guy and making me cry over you when you left so suddenly, every single stupid day.” She looked away and smiled a bitter smile. “God, you must think I'm really stupid. I usually notice the smallest things in my investigations, and yet I miss Superman under a stupid pair of eyeglasses. Lois Lane, top reporter...” The last part was muttered mainly to herself.
“Lois...” he sighed. “I couldn't tell you because I was completely in love with you after the first two minutes of knowing you- and I wanted you to love me for who I was, not for who Superman was.”
She looked up again, her expression broadcasting shock. “You are Superman!”
He shook his head. “No, I'm not- all this, it's not me. It's a mask. I'm Clark. I invented Superman because I wanted to help without revealing myself. Lois- don't you see that?”
“That doesn't explain it why you didn't tell me!”
“Lois, if I told you I was Superman you would have been acting all on edge around me. We couldn't have been friends. We couldn't have been anything. You were in love with my alter ego! Have you any idea how much I agonized over that?”
She stepped back inside. “Clark,“ she started, this time no anger in her voice, “Why didn't you tell me in the beginning? When you asked me out, I mean. When we were alone on that boat. All this time I thought you were running out because you didn't want to have a relationship with me!” She sighed.
“Lois...” he approached her and cupped her cheek with his hand. “I wanted to be sure... and all this time, I felt like I was competing... Superman, then Dan... I wanted to tell you...”
She turned from him slightly, as tears started running slowly from her eyes. “And you know what? I'm not even mad anymore... I'm just really hurt... That you didn't trust me enough to tell me...”
“Lois...” he embraced her.
“And that you didn't want me in on it... that you led me to believe you were two different people... that I fell for it like everyone else did...” she buried her face in his chest as he put his arms around her.
“Lois, the reason I told you now was because I do want to share this with you... I want to share everything with you...” he whispered in her ear softly.
“What?” she looked up, chocking a bit.
“Lois, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have never been so sure of anything in my life. You are the first person except for my parents to find out about this.”
“Clark...” she took a step away from him. “This is too sudden... too early...”
He closed the distance Lois has created between them. “You don't have to make the decision now. Just know that it stands. Whenever you're ready, I'll wait for you.” he leaned to kiss her.
She responded. How could she not? He was unbelievable. “You have to promise not to hide anything from me, Clark... if you have any other secrets I need to know about--“
He cut her off. “There are no more barriers between us, Lois. I promise. Trust me this time...”
He kissed her again, this time more demandingly and passionately.
That kiss was a silent vow.
It was a silent key, opening the doors and breaking the walls between them for good as two became one.
-END-
(here I'll join the cliche and say- Or the beginning?
)
I have to say here that I vowed never to write a revelation story- but I couldn't resist. I always wondred about what happened in Clark's apartment after WWW was over. You can find another alternative in New Beginnings <g>.
