Chapter 10
Dr. Banks sat at a desk working on a new pair of tickling boots. As he worked on the boots, he looked at a picture of Superman every so often. After all, this pair of boots was meant for Superman, and they had to look just like the pair of boots the Man of Steel usually wore.
“Are you almost finished?” Lex’s voice boomed over a loudspeaker.
“I’m almost finished working on the boots, but this will never work,” Dr. Banks replied. “How do you even know Superman wears a size 13 shoe?”
“Of course,” Lex replied over the loudspeaker. “I read it in the Daily Planet when they printed a list of fun facts about Superman. Little did he know that such a random, insignificant fact would be his undoing.”
“But, how do you plan on switching out boots? What will keep him from removing them? He’s not like everyone else. The magnetic seal that keeps them from being removed from a normal person’s feet won’t work on him.”
“Let me work on those details,” Lex replied.
*****
At the Daily Planet, Clark’s phone rang, and he picked it up. “Clark Kent, Daily Planet.”
“This is Lex. Lex Luthor. I understand that you have ways of contacting Superman.”
“I might. Why would you want to talk to Superman?” Clark asked cautiously.
“I think I have some important information for him about Sarah Carter.”
Clark thought for a few seconds and decided he’d have to meet Lex. “What time do you want Superman to meet you?”
“Tonight. 7:00. I’ll be dining at Dynasty. Best Asian cooking in Metropolis. I’m sure Superman will know where it is.”
“I’m sure,” Clark said as he hung up the phone.
*****
Superman landed in front of Dynasty, which was located at the southern end of Chinatown. It was easily the most popular place for Asian cuisine in Metropolis. The restaurant featured five floors, each with a separate type of Asian cuisine.
Superman used his x-ray vision and found Lex and Nigel seated on the second floor, the Japanese cuisine section. He then flew up and entered the room through the window.
“Superman!” a voice shouted out.
His entrance resulted in a lot of curious looks and chatter from the people in the restaurant. Superman just ignored this and walked straight up to Lex.
“Well, Luthor?” he asked in an annoyed tone.
“Superman!” Lex said cheerfully. “Please, sit down. Join me. Oh, and take your shoes off. It is the custom.”
“I didn’t come here to enjoy dinner with you. I came here for information,” Superman replied firmly.
“Fine,” Lex replied. “But at least remove your boots. It’s rude to leave them on.”
Superman complied.
“I’ve talked to the lawyers I hired to work Sarah’s case, and they think they can get Sarah off with just probation as long as she can repay what she stole. I plan on paying the money back for her,” Lex explained.
As he was speaking, Nigel switched out the boots without Superman noticing.
“That’s it?” Superman asked. “You called me down here for that?”
“I like happy endings,” Lex replied. “I thought you’d feel the same.”
“I thought you’d have some information on who kidnapped Sarah’s mother,” Superman replied as he placed the boots on his feet. “Like a confession.”
“Sorry to disappoint you Superman,” Lex replied with a smile.
“I’ll bet,” Superman said as he flew off.
Lex and Nigel smiled at each other as soon as he was gone. They’d done it. They’d fooled Superman.
*****
As Lois and Clark walked to work together early in the morning, Lois smiled and said, “I scheduled an interview with Sarah later today. Maybe we’ll be able to make some sense of this mess.”
“Yeah, and with her mother back at home and safe, maybe she’ll be willing to tell us who was pulling the strings behind the scenes.”
“You still think it’s Lex?” asked Lois as she rolled her eyes.
“And I suppose you still maintain that he’s completely innocent?” asked Clark. “Come on Lois, when are you going to admit the guy’s behind half the crime in Metropolis?”
“He did everything he could to help Sarah and her mother,” Lois argued. “He gave Mrs. Carter her job back. He provided Sarah with a legal defense. He even told me she won’t be getting any jail time. What more can you ask from him?”
“No jail time when she robbed multiple banks?” Clark replied. “How often does that happen? Anyone can see the guy did some manipulation behind the scenes to keep her out of jail.”
“So what if he did?” Lois replied. “He did it for a good reason. He gave someone a second chance. What’s so bad about that?”
Clark stopped abruptly and looked up in the sky. He saw a plane, and he could tell there was something wrong with it. He used his x-ray vision to take a closer look, and sure enough, the plane was experiencing engine trouble.
He had to get away from Lois to turn into Superman, but how? Thinking fast, he came up with the best excuse that he could.
“I completely forgot!” he yelled.
“What?” Lois asked inquisitively.
“I left my good tie at home!”
“What’s wrong with the tie your wearing?” asked Lois.
“It’s not as good as my good tie!” Clark said as he ran towards an alley.
Lois stood there in shock for a minute and then noticed the plane. “Oh my God! Clark, look in the sky! Clark!”
It was too late. Clark was out of her sight.
As the airplane hurled toward the ground, Superman flew up in the air and grabbed it by the tail. He then slowly flew towards the ground, looking for a good place to land it. Metropolis was far too full of people and buildings to land it right in the middle of the city, so he carried the plane off towards Metropolis International and landed it on the runway.
As Superman sat the massive plane down, a crowd of people were standing around clapping and cheering him on. He also noticed a group of reporters from various newspapers, including Lois. He figured he’d give them a few quick answers to some questions and then get out of there. After all, while it was nice to get some attention for his hard work, Superman wasn’t in it for the fame.
“What happened, Superman?” Lois called out.
“Just a little bit of engine trouble,” Superman replied. Suddenly, he felt a tickling sensation on the soles of his feet. “Ha-ha-ha.” He blurted out.
The crowd stared at him in shock after hearing Superman laugh about something as serious as engine trouble. After all, people could have died.
“Did you just laugh?” a reporter asked.
“Of course not,” Superman replied. “Ha-ha-ha.”
“You did,” Lois said in astonishment. “Superman, what’s wrong?”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha!” Superman replied to the stunned crowd. “Ha--ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-h a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
He bent his head back, opened his mouth wide open, and continued laughing. Tears began coming from his eyes and running down his face. Superman then flew into the air, still laughing hysterically.
Superman landed on top of a building and looked down at his boots. Using his x-ray vision, he confirmed his suspicions that he was wearing tickling boots. He reached his hand down to rip the boots off, but when his hand touched the boot, a voice came from the boots.
“Stop right this minute, Superman! These boots are rigged to several explosives throughout the city of Metropolis. Should they be destroyed, the bombs will go off! Please continue laughing.”
Superman did just that. He fell to the ground and continued laughing uncontrollably as he rolled around.
*****
Lex sat in front of TV as he sipped from a glass of wine. He’d just finished dinner, and now he was flipping through several different channels to see the effects the tickling boots were having on Superman.
“Ever had a case of the giggles?” a newscaster asked as footage of a giggling Superman appeared on screen. “Well, that’s exactly what happened to Superman today.” Footage of Superman throughout the day committing several heroic acts while still laughing continued to play on the screen.
“You’ve successfully made a fool out of him,” Nigel congratulated Lex.
“Yes,” Lex replied with a smile across his face. “But my plans for Superman extend beyond making him the laughing stock of Metropolis.”
“What else is there, sir?”
“I plan to make Superman my slave. A puppet. A toy that I pull out every now and then for my own amusement,” Lex replied.
“Of course,” Nigel replied.
Lex looked at his watch. “I’ve been tickling Superman for eight hours now. I think I’ll give him a rest.” He flipped the switch to deactivate the tickling boots.
*****
Clark was lying in bed still wearing his Superman costume and still laughing when the tickling sensation finally stopped. At first, he couldn’t believe it. He took a few seconds to catch his breath, and suddenly, a voice came over the speaker on the boots.
“Superman, I want you to use your heat vision to blow up the Daily Planet by midnight. If you don’t complete this task, you get tickled until you do complete it.”
*****
“Good show sir,” Nigel applauded his boss. “But why blow up the Daily Planet? Did you buy a rival newspaper?”
“No,” Lex replied, shaking his head. “I just like the idea of forcing Superman to use his powers for destruction against his will.”
*****
Superman sat in silence for a couple of minutes before a plan came to him. Then, he flew out of the window and headed towards Lois’ apartment. Once there, he knocked on her window and hovered outside until she let him in.
“Superman!” Lois said excitedly as she opened the window.
He flew over to her couch and then collapsed on it. The tickling had clearly taken a toll on him.
“Lois,” he said. “Somebody tricked me into putting on a pair of tickling boots. If I take them off, there are a bunch of explosions set to occur all across the city. That’s why I’ve been laughing like this all day.”
Lois had a wide-eyed look of complete astonishment on her face when Superman revealed this to her. That look quickly turned to a smile as she considered the thought of tickling Superman herself, but she decided not to since he looked so weak right now. However, she definitely planned on keeping that bit of information in mind for a later date.
“You’re ticklish?” she asked. “You?”
“Lois, everybody is ticklish,” he replied, not realizing he was repeating the words he’d said to her before as Clark.
“Even worse, the person who put the boots on me is threatening to tickle me if I don’t rob a bank,” he added.
“How do we remove the boots?” Lois asked.
“Sarah Carter,” Superman replied. “She’s the only one who can help. I need you to bring her here.”
“Anything for you, Superman,” Lois replied as she grabbed her jacket and headed out of the door.
*****
About an hour later, Lois returned to the apartment carrying a toolbox in her hand. Behind her, Sarah entered the room. Superman was still resting on the couch.
“I assume Lois filled you in on what’s going on?” Superman asked Sarah.
“Yes,” she replied.
“Can you help me?” he asked.
“Oh, I think there’s something I can do,” Sarah replied as she opened the toolbox.
*****
The next morning, Lex slammed the latest edition of the Daily Planet onto his desk. Then, he pounded his fist into the desk several times before picking the paper up, ripping it in half, and throwing it into the garbage. The cover of the newspaper said, ‘“Crook Puts Tickling Boots on Superman; The Tickler Saves the Day,” by Lois Lane.’
“He won this battle, but I swear that I will defeat Superman one day!” Lex yelled to himself.
*****
“Great shades of Elvis, what a story!” Perry exclaimed as he sat at his desk rereading Lois’ story.
Standing in front of him was a smiling Lois and an exhausted-looking Clark.
“Where exactly were you when all of this happened, Clark?” Perry asked.
“Oh, I was still at home sick,” Clark replied.
“Do you think we’ll ever find out who was behind all of this?” Perry asked.
“I doubt it. Dr. Banks was forced to do things for whoever was behind all this, but he doesn’t know who it was. Sarah still refuses to talk. But Clark here thinks Lex Luthor was behind it all,” Lois said mockingly.
“Oh, come now, Clark. Lex Luthor made sure that poor girl didn’t end up in jail,” Perry scolded him. “He’s no criminal. If anything, he’s a hero.”
“But Chief, did you ever think that maybe Lex made sure Sarah got off scot-free in exchange for her silence?”
“That sounds like the type of story they’d run in the Inquisitor, Kent. I’m surprised at you,” Perry replied.
*****
“Who’d have thought Superman was ticklish?” Lois asked Clark later that day as they sat in the lunch area.
“I told you, Lois,” Clark replied. “Everyone is ticklish.”
“Not me,” she replied.
“Now don’t start that again,” Clark answered. “You were just as bad as everyone else was when you had those tickling boots on.”
“The tickling boots!” Lois yelled. “They’re gone!”
“What do you mean?” Clark asked.
“Well, when I was writing the story, Sarah let me examine a pair of them. I left them on my desk, but now, they’re gone!” Lois yelled.
“Relax, Lois, I’m wearing them,” a voice said from behind her. Lois turned around and saw Cat standing there.
“Cat! You have to get those things off!” Lois screeched. “They’re like torture!”
“Actually, they’re kinda comfy,” Cat replied. “When you turn them on, it feels like your getting a foot massage.”
“Really?” Lois asked.
“Really,” Cat replied. “We’re not all as ticklish as you and Superman,” she said as she poked Lois in the ribs, causing her to jerk back.
Clark just sat there laughing as Lois sat there with a stunned look on her face.
“What?” Lois barked. “I told you not everyone is ticklish."
THE END
