Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK-Amygdala (3/4)

This is so beautiful

Hi,

Great piece.

Wow, Laura. When you do a WHAM, you don't mess around, do you? (I just now noticed this, not sure how I missed it last night!)

You did a good job conveying Clark's distraught and scattered train of thought. Almost too good, really; it got a little hard to follow the action at times You could probably tighten that up somewhat.

In the early part, he's ranting about how he's Superman but couldn't save her, etc., and it was very heart-wrenching... but at the same time I was a little worried about who else might be hearing it (at first I thought Ellen was in the room with them). I understand Clark is way past caring about that, but his folks might try to shush him or make sure the door is closed, or something.

Now, with only one part left, I'm very curious to see how exactly you're going to work this around to a happy ending... post soon!

PJ

Laura

WOW! An excellent part!
I'm glad that Martha suggests that he hold the baby.
The section where Lois wakes is beautifully written. So poignant and emotional!

I'm looking forward to reading the next part.

Tricia

Not sure what to feel about this one, but keep writing. Laura

Pretty heartwrenching stuff, Laura. Clark's a real mess. He's not even able to enjoy having his daughter.

Now he's blaming himself for Lois' loss of her uterus. As a medical layman, I wouldn't know how that could be possible. How could he blame himself? Hopefully, he doesn't do something really lunkheaded.

Glad Lois woke up, which probably means she'll be okay. Still waiting for the reason for the title, though.

Waiting for the finale...

Thank you, Jose, Maria, Pam, Tricia, Laura and Roger, for your comments.

Jose and Maria, Thank you

Pam, I've never actually written a WHAM before, so I am glad this one was a full-force WHAM . I looked at both thing you pointed out. Yes, Clark was a bit too loose about talking about Superman. I changed that a little and had Jonathan a little more worried about it. What I had tried to do was create a jumbled mess of Clark's emotions so his thoughts were random and not connected. On reading through it with your comments in mind, I realized that it was a little hard to follow at points, so I tried to tighten it up at bit. The version I send to the archive will be a bit different.

Tricia, I am glad you like how Martha brought the baby in. I kind of thought that was the turning point in the story that sort of brought Clark back to reality in a way. He now has someone else to worry about and he had to stop blaming himself for everything that happened to Lois.

Laura, I completely understand what you mean. I am not sure what I expected anyone to feel about this part, especially someone who knows someone who has gone through something like this.

Roger, he was blaming himself for two reasons. First, he had frozen and hadn't been able to react to take her to the hospital himself. Second, since he really has no medical knowledge himself, how does he know that his alienness didn't do something to the baby that made the placenta lodge in her uterus? In his mind, he is completely to blame. Lois does not see it that way, though. The reason for the title has alredy been seen and will be seen again. The amygdala is the part of the brain that is thought to comtrol emotion. Clark was afraid for Lois, and he froze (the freeze reaction is controlled by the amygdala). The next part shows Lois's and Clark's strong emotions, all controlled by the amygdala.

Thanks, everyone, for reading. I know this story isn't easy to read. I am glad that you all stuck with it.