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Thoughts?
No, I was not in a pleasant mood when I wrote this. :p
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 60
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 60 |
Wow, I was just posting the end of my story when I saw this so I read it. This was a very poignant story. I think you did well capturing how Clark would feel about not saving someone, especially kids. This also hits home in another way, as my wife and I just learned that we're having a boy this time. So I have a son now, he'll be here in October. Hit me hard talking about Clark's son and how it could have been his as he found the dead boy. Things with kids hit me much harder since I became a dad, I think of my daughter whenever I see such things, but now it's a little different. Very moving story, probably not the best time for me to read it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the pregnant one, I'm even more emotional then normal.  I'm really realizing with this pregnancy how much it can affect the father as well as the mother, hormone wise. I read about it but to experience it is different. I don't recall this so much with my daughter, but then it feels I spent most of that pregnancy in shock. Sorry to talk so much about my situation, it just hit me pretty hard due to it. Very well done.
I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30 |
As always your writing provides a sense of strength and power.
Lois indeed is a super woman.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Thanatos - Thank you very much for the kind words. And congrats to you and your wife, and to the big sister-to-be!  This story was actually borne out of a major set back for my husband and I in trying to start our own family. I got the idea as we just sat in our bedroom together, trying to hold each other together. Very sweet that you're so emotional over becoming a daddy twice over.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: May 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by Morgana:
As always your writing provides a sense of strength and power.
Lois indeed is a super woman. Thank you very much, Morgana. I appreciate the kind words. 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Wow that was very well written. You really captured his feelings and made us feel all of it with him. The depth of his love for Lois and her love for him is very clear in this story. Great job! Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by Laurach:
Wow that was very well written. You really captured his feelings and made us feel all of it with him. The depth of his love for Lois and her love for him is very clear in this story. Great job! Laura Thanks so much, Laura. I was hoping to make you feel it along with poor Clark.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Yes, that was a well done and very realistic story. It really brought things home. Good work.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 233 |
Wow! I'm speechless. 
Sydney
Non ! non, c’est bien plus beau lorsque c’est inutile !
(Edmond Rostand)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
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Vicki, A truly wonderful story.  I am green with envy. I wish I could write like that.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by Artemis: Yes, that was a well done and very realistic story. It really brought things home. Good work.
Artemis Thanks so much, Artemis.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: May 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by Sydney: Wow! I'm speechless. Oooh, thank you, Sydney. That's quite a lot of clapping there!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: May 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by KenJ: Vicki,
A truly wonderful story.
I am green with envy. I wish I could write like that. Wow! That's quite the compliment, Ken. Thank you very much.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1 |
Isn't that the truth? For the most part, I've learned to cope with my own short-comings, my own limitations. I've come to accept that I can't save everyone every single time. I've had to. Without that realization, without that acceptance, I wouldn't be able to be Superman. The stress would kill me, or drive me insane. You've done a great job capturing Clark's regrets. That he can't do everything. Even Superman has his limitations. I love the way you have him acknowledging that Lois is his anchor. That he realizes all she does for him and how she helps him. Great job! Joan
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Originally posted by scifiJoan: Isn't that the truth?
For the most part, I've learned to cope with my own short-comings, my own limitations. I've come to accept that I can't save everyone every single time. I've had to. Without that realization, without that acceptance, I wouldn't be able to be Superman. The stress would kill me, or drive me insane.
I love the way you have him acknowledging that Lois is his anchor. That he realizes all she does for him and how she helps him.
Great job!
Joan Thanks, Joan. I think we all have that person in our life, man or woman, spouse or parent, whoever, that grounds us when life is rough.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Wow. This was excellent. Remarkably well written- you could feel all of the emotions poring out of this piece- it even started to work me into a panic when he didn't see his son at Lucy's. Very, very well done. And I'm very sorry to hear about your own setbacks.  I hope things work out for you soon.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Originally posted by Mouserocks: Wow. This was excellent. Remarkably well written- you could feel all of the emotions poring out of this piece- it even started to work me into a panic when he didn't see his son at Lucy's. Very, very well done.
And I'm very sorry to hear about your own setbacks. I hope things work out for you soon. Thank you, Mouse. I'm glad you felt the emotional toll that Clark was going through. I had hoped to make the readers feel his pain.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Oh dear. Oh dear. Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: Oh dear. Oh dear. Michael Ooooh, I do love it when my fics inspire challenges.  Thank you, Michael, for the kind words on this one. I hadn't really seen much 1st person POV stuff on something like this. And it just sort of poured out of me when I wrote it. Maybe I should have put a warning on it that it wasn't a happy read. I might have to do that when I prep it for the archive. Thank again, and if things ever go my way, I'll let you all know in the off topic section.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Very beautifully written. So many of the phrases and lines and sentences, not to mention the way the paragraphs were ordered, were perfectly rendered, painting a stirring portrait of Clark's grief and helplessness. How telling that Lois, the babbling brook, doesn't say a word as she comforts him. I love how he refers to her time as Ultra Woman and how she understands him enough to understand fully what he's going through. So glad Clark finally has Lois in his life, there for him and accepting of him, to rely on and to bring him back from the dark abyss. Beautifully done and very touching. Pray things go better for you and your husband. 
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