Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - In a Very Alternate Universe (1/1)

I prefer writing comedy, but every once in a while, my muse gives me a more serious story that I find too compelling to leave unwritten. This is one of those stories.

As always, all feedback welcomed.

Joy,
Lynn

Poor Clark! It's bad enough to have his father die like that but to blame himself and actually have the ability to run away for good.

Martha and Jonathan were good and loving parents and he was lucky to have them. I feel for Martha as well to lose her husband and then son, one after another. I can just picture him returning to the farm after years of self-imposed exile to find that his mother died shortly after his departure of a broken heart. Let's hope instead that Clark returns a few years later after discovering he can fly (perhaps) and that he can control these abilities and, once again, his ever-loving mother forgives him. I just want to give Clark and Martha a hug.

You really know how to tug on our heartstrings with this worse case scenario, Lynn. You've outdone yourself again. Beautiful and poignant. Thank you for sharing.

Oh, goody! /reads/ OH MY GOODNESS! This *is* dark! (In a really sad but really good way )
Oh, no! Clark!
What happened?! Clark! Don't think such things! (And yes, I'm aware I'm a hypocrite for thinking this way).
Great job!

Sad. But a very possible reality.

Me: But what if (Zara and ching come)... nah that won't work (they wouldn't respect him because not only does he not know his heritage he has not stepped up to be a leader in any fashion.) But what if (Lois is on assignment to the arctic instead of the Congo)... Nah... that won't work. Etc.

I enjoyed the story, but it got my though juices going (and I think plot bunnies.) Too bad I have too many of them in a hutch waiting to be written.

Oh dear.

So, prior to the discovery of green K then.

Oh dear, oh dear.

So, still young Clark. And I like the spin on the name.

Wow! His powers came on *fast!*

That would creep anyone out.

Aaaaaand my heart just broke.

Oh no! Don't think like that, Clark!

I anticipated as much but ouch!



Wow! Such a huge amount of emotion packed into such a small, neat little package. Brava!

You know, this would be a *great* jumping off point for a larger story - maybe Clark *has* to come out of his self-imposed exile for some reason. Then he'll have to readjust to living in the world around him, but, by then, have his powers under control. And, of course, he'd meet Lois...

Okay, I'm really not hijacking your thread!

Poor Clark!

This story is so sad, so poignant .. and so well written that we can really feel Clark's sadness and loneliness.

I hope there is still a little hope for him.

My thanks to all who fed the author.

Virginia, I, too, hope that this Clark's life turns around. If it does, I suspect that Lois would have a hand in it. My thoughts ran along the same line as Christina's. I was thinking that a young, not-yet-established-as-a-reporter Lois Lane might have been given the less-than-plum assignment of being an embedded reporter for a feature story on an Arctic expedition. The expedition fails and everyone would have frozen to death were it not for a rescue by guess-who.

MouseRocks, I'm so glad you had a chance to read the story. I figured that if it would appeal to anyone here, it would be you. (Deadly Chakram being a close second.) I know that you aren't on the MB as much as you used to be, either. (As it happens, work so far, although busy, hasn't been anywhere near as much so as I had feared. That may yet come, but I am enjoying the time I have now for however long it lasts.)

I *love* *love* love* getting such detailed feedback. Thank you

Perfect. That was exactly the sort of reaction I was hoping for with that tease.

Exactly. This is a coming-of-age story a la Clark.

I figured it was doubly important that I give such a warning since this story strays so far from what I usually write.

Morgana, I agree that events in this story are sad. I had actually briefly considered something even sadder -- that Clark did actually kill Jonathan by accident when his heat vision kicked in for the first time while he happened to be looking at his father in the middle of a "heated" (no pun intended) argument. But I just didn't have it in my heart to torture Clark that much. And I didn't want to make him directly responsible for anyone's death, even if the death would have been an accident.

Cool! I think one mark of a good story is that although it provides at least some measure of resolution, it also makes you think about what happens next. If you do decide to take this particular bunny out of the hatch, you have my blessings. (For that matter, I am more than happy to let any authors write any gfic plot bunnies which my stories might inspire.)

Deadly Chakram, Yay! Lots of detailed feedback. Thanks.
Thank you for picking up on that. It was one of my favourite parts of the story.

A little too fast, unfortunately, for the Kent family's own good.

Hence the WHAM warning at the start. To be honest, this is the sort of story that I wouldn't read if someone else had written it; I don't particularly like such depressing reads. But my muse insisted I write it myself. And I have learned that I ignore my muse at my own peril; if I try to refuse a story she has given me, she won't give me any others until I cave in. She has a strict "one story idea at a time" rule.

Hijack away! If your muse wishes to write a sequel, please be my guest. I'd love to see how you would fix what I broke.

Sydney wrote: As Wells might say, "There's always hope." Although I don't think I will be writing up what happens next, I think the situation, as dire as it appears, is ultimately salvageable. Although my muse wanted to end the story where it did to have maximum impact, in my own mind even this story (well, its hypothetical sequel) could have a happy ending. After all, Female Hawk has produced happy endings from stories that began with her Clark starting off in a far worse position than my Clark is in at the end of this story. Now, if only I could produce a story even one percent as good as hers...

Thanks again to all who left feedback.

Joy,
Lynn

Lynn -

Mine too. If I don't write what she tells me too, she sulks and goes into hiding. Only mine *usually* goes one at a time, though that's not always the case.

I wish! My muse decided to break Clark's life myself, and it might be on the longish side. I'm actually calling it "Broken" but I'm not sure what side of the boards it will wind up on, due to subject matter. In any case, it's barely started.

I encourage you to follow up with this fic when you get the chance!

We seem to be on the same wavelength with that word.

Your muse might (usually) only give you one story idea at a time, but she seems to feed you a steady stream of ideas. Mine is more parsimonious.

Thank you. I've asked my muse about it, but she generally snubs her nose at sequels, so I'm not holding my breath.

Joy,
Lynn

AS others have said this is well done, but cries out for a sequel.

If you want a really grim sequel tell the tale of what Clark does after the Nightfall asteroid destroys all life on the planet.

For slightly more upbeat have him learn about it and die stopping it.

Perhaps the folks on the space station can recover his lifeless body.

Patrick, You do have some grim scenarios.

Nightfall is a possibility, but it has been used so much in stories that if I were to write a sequel, I would probably try to avoid it.

But I do love that my story is sparking ideas.

Thanks for the feedback.

Joy,
Lynn