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Jenna Offline OP
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post feed back here.


Jenna: "That's enough! You release the Charactors from this tragedy right now, you little gnome. Or I promise to send you somewhere far worse than the fifth dimension!"

Kazbo sarcastically: "You have me so scared!" menacing: "try dealing with this!" throws in a slow, agonising death. then disappears.
-from an arguement with Kazbo, the evil muse
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Pulitzer
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It is a bit confusing with the switching between tenses in the story.

So are we going to meet Lois any time soon? As I alway say it is not proper Lois and Clark fan fic unless it has Lois. Of course some authors have gone incredibly long without Lois, but I always hope we meet her soon.

Clark is in a really tough situation here. I hope he gets a regular job soon.


John Pack Lambert
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Clark has had a hard life. I hope he tries to contact the Kents, but he probably won't being that he fears their safety and that B39 would probably be keeping tabs on the Kents.

I fear that someone is going to notice the children and report him to child services, while he is working or while they are with him while he's working.

You show that no matter what is done to Clark, deep inside he is still a good man.

Does Clark have any knowledge of the children's mother(s)?

It's interesting that the two sisters are considered a DNA match, though they have different hair. Twins also have a DNA match and everyone knows that they are not the same in personality, temperament, and likes and dislikes.

What is Clark to do? I have no idea where you are going with this story, but you're already tugging on my heartstrings.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Beat Reporter
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I am hooked - very interesting beginning. My heart went out to all of them.

What is your posting schedule? I hope not too long between posts

Kathy
http://www.chili-everyway.com/


robinson
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Kerth
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Nice start. However with B39 after them I don't see how moving back to the USA is a good idea.

There are lots of nice places in the world. In the series backstory Clark had traveled the world. It might be nice if his children were allowed a few years away from the USA to grow and form bonds.

A pity he couldn't have made B39 think they are all dead.


Framework4
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I just want to say that I thought this was a very good start. I really could sense the level of acaring that Clark has for his children. I hope you keep going with this story, it seems to have lots of potential.


John Pack Lambert

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