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#93634 02/27/13 09:41 AM
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Merriwether
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Nice. I like that we're hearing about the scene where Clark lost control and told her he was Superman rather than us experiencing it first hand.

I liked this a lot too:

Quote
“There’s no difference!” Lois cried helplessly. “You are both Clark and Superman, you said so yourself.”
Joan

#93635 02/27/13 09:46 AM
Joined: May 2006
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Beat Reporter
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Bakasi, what a great first line! I am really happy you found time to write again.

This is so heartbreaking. I can picture Clark telling Lois in her apartment about how he feels. He is so sure that she is going to deceive him, poor man.

I like it that you had Lois enter the apartment without Clark opening the door for her... wave

Hope to see more from you soon laugh


Kathryn
#93636 02/27/13 12:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
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As usual you reached into the depths of our souls and wrenched them a bit for this scene. Poor Clark, feeling so depressed about having revealed himself bare (emotionally) to Lois and feeling like she was going to tear him to shreds publicly, that he doesn't even want to heal from the Kryptonite poisoning or save his parents from the onslaught of reporters that will descend upon Smallville.

I'm a little confused about the timeline though. Did Clark tell Lois he loved her on the park bench as he did in canon before she accepted Lex's proposal or did he do it the day before her wedding? Or did he confess as Superman to being Clark at her apartment the night before her wedding or another time altogether? It all sounds like it happened within twenty-four hours, instead of weeks or days.

It would be strange for Clark to still be moping about Lois telling the world about him being Superman, or ganging up with Luthor about it, if it happened weeks before. And I cannot believe that he'd wait weeks before telling his folks that his secret was out, with someone he doesn't trust, as he clearly isn't doing with Lois at the moment.

I also don't understand how Clark telling Lois his secret wouldn't change how Lois acted. She *still* accepted Lex's proposal? She *still* walked down the aisle to Lex? Or did Clark not tell Lois until the night before her wedding and then went to meet Luthor and got himself locked in the cage?

I liked the bit of humor at the end, showing us that they would be all right:

Quote
Clark’s lips hesitantly twitched into a small smile. “Clark Kent.” He took her hand. “Okay. But maybe this time, I could be top-banana?”

“No way!” Lois protested. “Partners?” she offered.

“Partners!” Clark replied and his smile broadened. “And I think we’ve got a newspaper to rebuild.”
I liked how it showed that even though Clark bared his emotional soul to her, that he wasn't going to let her push him around. And she rebutted, well, 'just because you're Superman doesn't mean you'll end up on top'. clap


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#93637 02/28/13 08:23 AM
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Pulitzer
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I'm glad you liked this despite the inconsitencies. He tells her as Superman when they meet in her flat. I had never really thought about how much time passed until the wedding. I figured that Luthor had it all planned.
dizzy


It's never too dark to be cool. cool
#93638 02/28/13 02:44 PM
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Pulitzer
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I liked the story but was confused about the time passage. Especially since the way it was working Clark told Lois before she got engaged.


John Pack Lambert
#93639 03/03/13 05:05 PM
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The title seemed so hopeless... and yet not all hope was lost. Good job.

#93640 03/07/13 02:36 PM
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Nice story. I kinda liked how Clark was punishing himself for what he perceived as doing wrong - telling her and then preventing the sun from healing him. How can he allow his body to heal when he thinks his heart never will?


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#93641 03/24/13 09:12 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
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Boards Chief Administrator
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Quote
Those words, said in a moment of utter despair and pain, were still preying on Clarks mind.
Oops?

Quote
Did Lois blame him for not saving Lex? Had she known about the kryptonite cage? So many questions, but they would have to remain unanswered.
Wow, he managed to avoid her for what, a month? Didn’t someone just call him a lunkhead?

Quote
He had not yet had the courage to tell his parents what had happened. But that was soon to be done, before the entire press of the US would show up on a certain farm in Smallville, Kansas.
Clark! How could you. Lois knows. He suspects Lex knows from Lois. He knows Lex is kind of a bit of a crook. And yet, he’s only now starting to think about evacuating his parents?

Quote
Then, all of a sudden, it was quiet again, so quiet that for a brief moment Clark wondered if he might have gone deaf.
Well, he can’t pick the lock while banging against the door, no can she?

Quote
She looked rather vulnerable, her eyes a bit puffy from the tears she was trying to hold back
Well… he *had* abandoned her.

Quote
“Forgive you…” Clark breathed. He barely believed his ears. Never before had Lois admitted to anything that she might have done wrong.
wave Michael


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