Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Beneath the Surface (1/14)

As this is my first attempt at such a long story feedback is much appreciated.

Well, I'm already hooked. I loved the talk they had in the car. Clark teasing that Lois would be sobbing turned out to be true, although he was probably thinking of it in terms of angry, hurt sobs, but because he only told her the minimum she was crying in friendly love and sympathy. It was beautiful.

Can't wait till they get to Smallville and she convinces him to let her see the home movie. Will he take her up to the fortress of solitude (tree house ) or will he bring it down? What will her first words be when he holds out the globe?

Post soon.

This is a really great start for a story, and I'm definitely hooked. (Unless you decide to post once every few months, that is.) I'm totally looking forward to Clark revealing all of his secrets one by one to Lois. I'd also love to see her trying to find this "home movie" from Clark's birth parents after Clark refuses to show her himself. (Maybe he even tells her she can watch it if she finds it? I bet she'll never think of looking for an orb.)

Oh, I'm totally looking forward for what you have in store for these two.

I like this approach to telling Lois his secret identity. At first I thought he was going to tell her a little bit at a time, but I'm not sure what else he could tell her at this point without telling her CK=SM.

I think you captured their relationship well. By their interactions, you can tell that they are close friends and trust each other. I look forward to the rest of the story.

Nice start. Love the idea of him telling her a little at a time.

Joan

This is a great start. I look forward to reading more.

Very good start!

I like how Clark is going about this, slowly introducing her to the idea of him being adopted, chipping away small pieces of his facade like that. It's a smart way to go about it, because maybe she'll remember this story and how sad he was and while it won't make it all better, it might take away some of the sting. I wonder what's going to happen in the next 13 parts... So excited!

I agree with the other posters - it's a good idea for Clark to introduce the secret identity slowly.

I still wonder how many hints it will take for Lois to figure it out, though.

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

LJK: Don't worry, I won't be posting once a month. I tore my ACL in April and had knee surgery in July to replace it which is what really slowed down progress.

Everyone else: I was always surprised that Lois never brought up the fact that when she told Clark she was hiding a fugitive, he didn't tell her his biggest secret. She's just not someone to drop something so easily and besides, what could Clark really know that would be a big secret? She would have to have thought about it. So that's how the story got started. Now, there's a huge A-plot with the B woven in between. We'll just have to see how everything turns out.

This is nicely done. Lois is not the sort of person to let something as important as 'blackmail' material be forgotten. Maybe by slowly introducing Lois to the fact that he is different in the most unique way possible, she won't be so surprised or hurt by the truth.

Hope the ACL finishes healing soon.

That Clark did not tell Lois that his real name is Kal-el. I guess he as Superman has not told Lois that detail yet.

Now I am wondering how Lois will end up in Smallville.