|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114
Top Banana
|
OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114 |
Story Comments? Questions?
Last edited by Annie B.; 04/27/14 10:27 AM. Reason: Corrected Link
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1 |
Clark has taken a life. It's a good thing he has Lois there as his ally (regardless of if they refuse to use the word!).
Why aren't Mayson and Lumen following them? And should I recognize Lumen?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114
Top Banana
|
|
OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114 |
Originally posted by AmyPrime:
And should I recognize Lumen? Lumen is an original character, rather than one from Lois & Clark or The Hunger Games.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30 |
Is it too obvious to say that a lot has happen in this chapter? So if Lumen is an original character, Lysander must be as well?  The next three days passed with no confrontations between the surviving tributes. The Careers spent hours trying to hunt down their competitors, but much to their frustration, Lois and Clark managed to evade them. Even when, on the second night after the fire, they found the cave that their rivals had been sleeping in, there was no sign of them. They didn’t know how they were able to do it, but the tributes from Districts 3 and 9 were always one step ahead of them. Clark is using his abilities in a stealthy manner; he wanted to keep himself and Lois out of the hands of the Career alliance. From the sounds of it, they are clumsy and full of themselves. Not a good combination for them or our favorite duo. Though she was growing weak from hunger, Lois was still capable of assisting in the raid, especially with the promise of food if they were successful. Quietly, they made their way around the lake. When they drew near to the Cornucopia, just after sunrise, they crouched in the brush, waiting and listening to make sure that the Careers were, in fact, absent. Hmmm, Lois hungry, desperate and determined is a dangerous combination. Clark was correct in asking her to stay behind, in this situation she would only slow him down. Honestly, they should have made their move at sunset. People, especially untried youths such as the tributes are, tend to lower their guard at sunset. Both fight sequences were frightening! But the sentence below really had me biting my nails. His attack was a simple one that he had used on other occasions with great success. He rapidly closed the distance and began an overhead cut directed at her head with the sword while, simultaneously, he started a sideways slicing cut at her midsection with the knife. If she defended against the sword cut, he would disembowel her. If she defended against the knife, he would cleave her skull to the shoulders. The battle description between Lysander (by the way, love that name!) and Lois was fantastic! I could smell the combatant's sweat and feel the streamers rake against his skin. For a brief moment in time I was in the arena with them ... scared out of my wits!  With a startled expression on his face and a scream of rage on his lips, Lysander stumbled backwards several paces. When his heel caught on a root, he fell backwards, heavily, landing with a thud. He let out a choked cry as his body gave a convulsive jerk. A second later, the sword fell from his nerveless fingers. Ok... I do not believe that the knife stood up straight from the ground so that Lysander impaled himself on it.  Despite the fact that it flew through the air end over end.... Sorry guys, but that is a plot hole so big even Big Foot could walk through it. Poor Clark... he thinks he's responsible. I await next Saturday's installment.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Morgana,
The knife went flying and wound up in the brush at the fringe of the clearing. It was the underbrush that caused it to stand upright and also concealed its presence from Clark. I personally have had an errant knife land in just that manner when practicing my throwing technique (and missed the stick) so it can and does happen. Not often, admittedly, but enough that this was a legitimate scenario. I would not have used it otherwise.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114
Top Banana
|
|
OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114 |
Originally posted by Morgana: [QB]So if Lumen is an original character, Lysander must be as well? Lysander is Lex Luthor's son. He's an original character, yes, but he's also the son of a canon character. Ok... I do not believe that the knife stood up straight from the ground so that Lysander impaled himself on it. Despite the fact that it flew through the air end over end.... Sorry guys, but that is a plot hole so big even Big Foot could walk through it. Like KenJ says, it's quite possible for a knife to land like that under the right circumstances. I was taking some cuttings of plants to share at work one day when I dropped the knife I was using. It landed straight up in the tangle of roots and weeds where I dropped it.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1 |
Oh, I assumed Lysander *was* Lex. Close enough, with that family. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
I don't really think that Clark took the life. It was Lysander's own actions that led to the chain of events that ended up with Lysander dead. Clark may have been the proximate cause, but if Lysander hadn't brought the knife, then the latter wouldn't have been killed. Clark only shoved him.
Of course, Clark won't feel this way.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1 |
Yeah, Clark won't see it that way. And neither will Lex. It doesn't sound like he was exactly fond of Lysander, but I guarantee that any small hope our dynamic duo had of sponsors is now evaporated.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
Clark will feel guilty, as it is his nature, but it was not his fault. He didn't even hurt Lysander. If he fell over his own knife it was not Clark's fault, it was an accident. Now there are two Careers and Lois and Clark. The Careers are arguing, maybe they will fight and kill each other, remaining just Lois and Clark?  And then....?  Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020 |
Originally posted by Ultra Woman: Clark will feel guilty, as it is his nature, but it was not his fault. He didn't even hurt Lysander. If he fell over his own knife it was not Clark's fault, it was an accident. Now there are two Careers and Lois and Clark. The Careers are arguing, maybe they will fight and kill each other, remaining just Lois and Clark? And then....?
Andreia It seems that it will be Lois and Clark left. Surely there is some obscure rule that can be invoked if the remaining 2 tributes are in love.  
KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
KatherineKent,
That is exactly the scenario that came up in the later game involving Katniss and Peeta with disastrous results for the Gamesmaker (At least in the movie.). He was directed to commit suicide. As an additional touch of irony, the weapon of choice was the poison berries that Katniss and Peeta threatened to kill themselves with which would have left that game with NO victor.
This game takes place some years before that one. If the precedent had been set in this game then it could have caused him to re-think his decision RE: Katniss and Peeta.
BTW: Hunger Games now in large format paperback. I just purchased Volume 1 on Saturday. $6.98 at Sam's Club.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30 |
Urgh! KenJ you just blew the story for me! Clark and Lois are supposed to be the leaders of the revolution. Right? Oh yeah, I stand corrected about the knife in the bushes. Neat way to bring real life into the picture. 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114
Top Banana
|
|
OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114 |
Originally posted by Morgana: Urgh! KenJ you just blew the story for me! Clark and Lois are supposed to be the leaders of the revolution.
Never fear--there will be all sorts of twists and turns before this story is done.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Hi Morgana,
You of all people should know me better than that. I really didn’t disclose anything with my previous comment.
Morgana has commented on the fight scenes. It should be stated that the fight scenes are as true to real life as I can make them. I don’t apply any Hollywood trickery.
RE: The fight scenes in general. Morgana know me from other communications we have had, but for those that don’t know me – a little background.
I have been a practitioner of the Martial Arts since HS. I have studied Judo and 3 different styles of Karate, mostly soft (Kung Fu) styles. I have worked with Karate weapons such as Escrima and Nun Chukka. I have also studied Kendo – the art of the Japanese sword. I have and have practiced with a number of blades, my favorite happens to be my WWII Katana. (Okay, it doesn’t date back to the Samurai, but it is still a Katana.).
All of that is to say that the throws described are moves I have performed in actual combat (tournament) situations. I have transliterated the names phonetically. The moves performed I work out before I write them so that I can be sure they are accurately described whether it be Escrima strikes or Nun Chukka blows as far as timing and execution.
If we were dealing with other arms such as bows and arrows or firearms, I am qualified in those areas as well.
If anyone has any questions or would like help with a scene they are writing for a story, I am available.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30 |
To AnnieB and KenJ: Sorry! Please accept my apology! I thought the rest of the story was given away. In a future story of mine, KenJ has written an amazing fight scene! If anyone needs help in those quarters, he is the person to consult. 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
