|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29
Kerth
|
OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Firstly, welcome to the boards! Another Aussie! Yay!! Secondly, what a lovely story for your debut. It's sweet, well-written, and evokes exactly the feeling of Lois and Clark's friendship stage. Well done. I hope you have more LnC stories to share. Corrina.
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114 |
A great story to find first thing in the morning. Happy, WAFFy, well-written...I hope to see more of your writing on these boards.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." "How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Great story He shook his head slightly, cutting her off. “You didn’t” he told her softly. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming; dipping his head that last little bit, he pressed his lips to hers gently for a long moment, then pulled back slightly so he could gauge her reaction. Searching her face, he let go of her arms, sliding one hand along her jaw line into her hair and pulling her closer. “Lois...” he breathed. He kissed her again, letting some of the passion he felt for her come to the surface, feeling her eager response. She freed her hand from where it was trapped between them, looping her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss even further. It felt like he was on fire. Her slim body, clad in a light sundress, was pressed up against his mostly bare chest, their tongues dancing together... She pulled back slightly, leaving him feeling strangely bereft. Breathing hard, he rested his forehead against hers, marvelling at the fact that she’d left him breathless. He could hold his breath for 20 minutes, but this woman could leave him breathless. They stayed like that for a long moment, Clark revelling in the moment, before he realised what he’d done. He’d kissed Lois. Lois. His best friend, the one woman he’d ever loved, the only woman he’d ever love- but she didn’t feel the same way about him. What had he done? LOVED!!! You created a beautiful scene here--reading it, you could FEEL what they were feeling...what a pleasure to read ! Favorite part was how he breathed her name, had his hand on her face, and kissed her again. And how they rested their foreheads against each other--very intimately written She heard him draw a shaky breath. “Lois...” All of a sudden he snatched her up in his arms and she was being crushed to his chest. She choked a little and he relaxed his hold, letting her go enough so that he could look at her. She met his gaze squarely. He had a hopeful expression on his face, but his eyes were filled with so much love that it made her breath catch in her throat. How had she never realised just how strongly Clark felt about her? And in that instant she knew that she could tell him how she felt, how she really felt. “I love you, Clark.” His face lit up. There was no other way to describe it. She’d never seen him look so uncomplicatedly happy. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that, Lois.” His voice was husky. “I love you so much... I’ve always loved you.” She felt a wide smile break out across her own face at his words. He picked her up and swung her around in a circle, making her burst out laughing at his sheer exultation. He set her back gently on her feet, his grin fading as his expression became more intent. Without hesitation, he dipped his head and covered her mouth with his. Such a great, WAFFY, lovely section of your story! You had me, while reading along, very excited and happy for them. Awwww Thanks for a wonderful read! Can't wait to read the next story you write ....welcome to the boards! Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 624
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 624 |
Fun story! I love how Clark catches Lois checking him out.
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 103
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 103 |
Very fun and WAFFy. Thanks for posting!
Ultra Lucille
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Hi NostalgiaKick,
Welcome to the boards.
This was a very good first effort! I look forward to many more stories from you.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Hello and welcome!
I agree with all the other FoLCs (Friends of Lois and Clark) who posted already: This was a fantastic debut story, and I am looking forward to seeing future fiction from you. (Hint, hint!)
By the way, people will be more likely to read your story if you flag it with a blue arrow message icon when you post. And writing as good as yours deserves to be read. (The blue arrow is the way we indicate that the post is a story or a story part, as opposed to a feedback thread.)
Joy, Lynn
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825 |
Thank you everyone for your feedback I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I've had a few messages telling me how to fix the formatting issue etc, so I've done that now. Thanks for your help there, too. Hopefully it's easier to read now. Feli
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Feli,
Is Townsville anywhere near Sydney because your description sounds a LOT like Bondi Beach, Sydney.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Welcome to the boards. Yes, that was a very nice story. Keep 'em coming. I've been to Cairns and Port Douglas and diving on the Great Barrier reef. Good on ya. The reformatting makes it much easier to read. regards Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,549
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,549 |
Congratulations on your first story. I loved it. It was wonderful.
It would be fun to get a follow up story where Clark tells her at the date. Or maybe like 5 dates later, because he keeps wimping out and not wanting to face her wrath.
John Pack Lambert
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825 |
Nice pick up KenJ! I based the beach on Bondi Beach. It is a truly beautiful part of the world. Townsville is about 1300 miles north of Sydney, but my parents are from Sydney so we spent a lot of time there as kids.
Feli
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Hi Feli,
I've been there and recently used it as a locale in one of my stories.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30 |
Welcome aboard! By the time they’d reached the beach, a few miles outside the city proper, it had really started to heat up. The beach was, predictably, packed and Lois was lucky to get a parking spot. This particular beach was popular, being fairly close to the city, relatively unspoiled and serviced by public transport. It was a beautiful beach, almost half a mile long, with white sand and sparkling blue water. Sounds like a perfect beach I used to frequent years before. I could hear the seagulls in the distance, water pounding against the surf and the terrific smell of sun tanning lotion as Clark rubbed it on his arms and chest! Wonderful... This was a great first effort! Excellent writing skills, we look forward to reading more of your work.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Hi NostalgiaKick! Welcome to the boards It was just after 8am- surely she’d be up? Even on a day off? Hope he likes grumpy Lois in the morning. She was going to the beach with Clark. She didn’t have to worry about wandering eyes- or worse, wandering hands. She could trust Clark to act like the perfect gentleman. Yep. Her fabulous partner has no interest in her body. After all, he shares a bed with Superman. “Ok.” He turned to walk away, then turned back. “Is everything okay, Lois? You were looking at me with the strangest expression on your face.” Her ‘horny Lois’ expression? Yeah, he doesn’t get to see that one all that often. When he’s out of spandex. Or she’s not drugged. He bit his lip, stifling a groan. She was doing absolutely nothing for his self control. So much for wandering eyes Michael
|
|
|
|