|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
This unbeta-ed vignette started haunting me, so I thought I'd do some ghost-busting by typing it up and sharing it with you all. I understand that it is debatable whether people in a coma actually do dream. If they don't, then perhaps Lois was finally starting to come out of the coma at the time of the story. As always, all feedback welcomed. Joy, Lynn
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Hi Lynn! Lois’ heart swelled as she heard her husband read aloud, “Lois and Clark… This child belongs to you.” She gazed at the baby now cradled in her arms and smiled. I'm with you so far... Perry looked down at the comatose form of his once-star reporter. Wait, is the little guy actually Serena Judd's baby? Had it really been four years since the Prometheus shuttle disaster? Lois! And what now? It was a miracle she had survived the explosion. If only she would wake up. Michael
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20 |
Oooh, that was EEEEEEvil. All just a dream, indeed.
~•~
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332 Likes: 1 |
That was sweet. Whether or not she ever wakes up, she's been having a nice dream and she has people that still care about her and visit her in the hospital.
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
|
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Oh-wow! That was evil...and thought-provoking! Interesting idea! Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Hello all, Thank you for the feedback. I was quite surprised by some of it. I fully expected the term "evil" to show up, but I never would have dreamt that anyone would have used words like "beautiful" or "sweet." it fascinates me to see how differently everyone's reacting to the story. Michael, I hadn't thought of Judd, but she certainly could be described by that phrase. Now that I think about it, I haven't read any Norcross and Judd fanfic. Seems like a fanfic challenge is hiding in that. re: Tempus making this more evil and Lois's dream actually being an alternate reality: Why does a bit of a Poe poem spring to mind? Specifically, "Is all we see or seem but a dream within a dream?" Virginia, I purposely left Clark's status open for the readers to interpret as they will. My own thoughts are that Clark exists in this reality. He and Lois met as in the pilot, but in this world, he is human. Just as Dorothy spun farmhands into a tin man, lion and scarecrow in her dream, Lois spun an ordinary farmboy into a superhero in hers. I could easily see the two of them becoming better acquainted upon her awakening (assuming, of course, that she does come out of the coma). After four years in a coma, she would discover how precious life is and realize that she did have time "for this," after all. Queen of the Capes, Why thankee. Evil was what I was aiming for in this one. Lady Loisette, so does this make the story sweetly evil or evilly sweet? Mouserocks, thank you for taking a quick break from your studies to read and comment on this story. (It was a quick break, yes? You know what you asked us to remind you... ) Laura, I'm glad that the story inspired thought. One of my writing role models is Fredric Brown, one of the lesser-known pioneers of science fiction. Many of his stories could fit on one side of one page with plenty of room left over. But although those stories could be read in under a minute or two, they left one thinking about them for far longer than it took to read them. If I accomplished something similar with this story, I am pleased. Joy, Lynn
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332 Likes: 1 |
Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: Lady Loisette, so does this make the story sweetly evil or evilly sweet? Maybe my evil gauge is broken or needs to be recalibrated, but I would probably remove the word evil entirely. I see the sweetness in the story. She isn't alone in her dreams or in her reality. In her dreams she has her life with Clark and in her reality she has visitors (Likely more than just Perry) who come to see her and spend time with her.
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
I like your view. I had figured that most people would label the wiping out of the "reality" of almost the entire series with a few keystrokes to be evil.
Joy, Lynn
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Lynn S.M. posted: Laura, I'm glad that the story inspired thought. One of my writing role models is Fredric Brown, one of the lesser-known pioneers of science fiction. Many of his stories could fit on one side of one page with plenty of room left over. But although those stories could be read in under a minute or two, they left one thinking about them for far longer than it took to read them. If I accomplished something similar with this story, I am pleased. Be pleased, Lynn . You certainly got us thinking! And also, such a great point above--it doesn't really matter the length of the story, it's what you take from the story a lot of the time, that is what makes it special. A good idea, a good story, might be long--or depending, it might be short. If it's good, then simply, it is good ... Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Ack! SO sad and beautiful at the same time. My heart breaks for everyone involved.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
Sweet? Are you kidding? Lois dreamed the Argh! Definitely evil.
Excellent vignette.
B
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,800 Likes: 30 |
In just a few lines an unimaginable story is brought to mind. Chilling, yet very thought provoking!
This Lois should be happy her boss still visits on a regular basis.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 741 Likes: 2
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 741 Likes: 2 |
Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: Just as Dorothy spun farmhands into a tin man, lion and scarecrow in her dream, Lois spun an ordinary farmboy into a superhero in hers. DOROTHY WAS DREAMING!?!? Noooooooo! Don't anyone even mention Hobbes! Seriously, I like quickies like this. I think it's often harder to seize people's preconceptions and point them in another direction than to write something from scratch. Well done. Now, why do I keep thinking of Patrick Duffy?
Shallowford
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Yay. More feedback. Thank you. Deadly Chakram, that's two votes now for "sad and beautiful." I'm delighted that it struck such a chord with you. BJ wrote Sweet? Are you kidding? Lois dreamed the Argh! Definitely evil. Now, why do I keep thinking of Patrick Duffy? I almost didn't post this story because of that, but then I remembered Perry's saying about old stories and new angles, and decided to go ahead with it anyway. Joy, Lynn
|
|
|
|