Lovely part, Sara. As Ann already said, it's v. well-written. Elle's trepidation jumps off the screen.
Elle nodded even though Lois was no longer looking at her. This was like waiting for the jack to pop out of the box. That bleeding music setting nerves on end with every note. Elle hated that; the damn thing surprised her every time, and listening to Lois on the edge of some kind of epiphany reminded her exactly of that.
Such a great comparison!
And this:
Lois's eyes were focused somewhere in the distance, and Elle had a funny feeling that distance ran all the way to Africa as opposed to the section of wall over her left shoulder.
*loves*
Oh, and can't forget this:
... her finger had pulled the trigger, and she could still feel the ghost of the gun's recoil against her palms. The sound echoed in her head. And the sight ...
Gorgeous writing. So much emotion that puts readers right in Elle's head -- it's just fantastic.
I'm so glad you're continuing this story!
