If I may offer my opinion in the form of some constructive criticism.
As the others have said, this is generally well-written. The characters were well drawn, and their actions and emotions rang true.
For me, though, you left out one important thing... the payoff. You created a very intense and emotional scenario but basically left it hanging. Yes, we find out in the end that our duo is actually okay, and that is was all just a bad dream that Clark had. But we still need to know two things. *Why* did Clark have the nightmare, and what are the *consequences* of that nightmare. It could be something as innocent as having anchovie and pineapple pizza before going to bed, or it could be some sort of message from his subconscious. Does Lois' typical leap before she looks investigative style worry him more than he realizes? Or, is it tied to the fact that he's beginning to realize that he can't keep lying to her about himself? What if, god forbid, one of them met an untimely death? How would he feel if he, or she, died without ever knowing the real truth?
As written, to me, the whole emotional, deadly scenario comes off as gratuituous because it doesn't lead to anything. Nothing is learned from the horrific nightmare, even though it was only a dream
I have to admit that as I read, I fully expected there to be a revelation before the finish. It seemed like a natural resolution, but it wouldn't necessarily need to be. But I do think that Clark should have entertained some sort of thoughts along those lines as a consequence of the unsettling nature of his nightmare.
I could easily see a denoument where Clark is hovering above Lois' apartment going through the process of wondering if the nightmare was his guilty subconscious' way of telling him he needed to come clean with Lois... or, maybe he just shouldn't have had that cold pizza right before going to bed.
Please realize that I'm not telling you how to write your stories, I just wished to point out that I felt you needed to show that for Clark, the dream had some consequences beyond just a bad memory and a feeling of relief upon waking.
Over all, a good effort. I look forward to reading more from you.
Tank (who has to make sure that the writer knows that this is just his opinion and can be disregarded without a second thought)
