CONTENT WARNING: This fic gets a little graphic and is not for the squeamish, the very young, or those engaged in eating. Nature…isn’t always pretty. This story contains blood, organs, violence, bodily functions, bodily fluids, animal butchery, and at least one death from a gunshot. Proceed at own risk.
Considering the author, this warning implies there’s gonna be either a dead animal or Lex has to take his business behind a bush after having some spoiled milk.
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The Mammoth in the Room
Very Mary Title.
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The body of a mammoth lay in a heap on the tundra with four LexLabs scientists crawling over it.
Science! DOC: Food services. Second career.
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She had ranted, she had cried, and she had ultimately promised not to tell anyone;
Good thing there’s lots of empty space?
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Any chance of discovering whether she could love him for his true self, powers not-withstanding, was well and truly gone.
On the plus side, he can still take up with Cat and Mayson.
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Atop the mammoth’s shoulder, the scientists Edmund Carroll and Peter Lewis seemed to be having an argument over how to properly skin the animal.
There’s more than one way to skin a Mammoth.
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“The basic principals should still be the same. A specimen’s a specimen: we skin and dissect it!”
A deep shiver ran through Clark
Poor dear!
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“I saw that shiver. You’ve already been going for days without your suit jacket, and now Lois has your blanket too!”
Oops? LOIS: What? Now I know he doesn’t need it. Not that that was the reason I refused before.
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“It won’t do us any good if you die of exposure.”
Maybe they could create a cover by having Lois under his covers at night. She keeps him warm, builds up his reserves for the next day?
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“Fine, fine!” She waved a hand dismissively. “Just a stomach-ache, that’s all.”
Oh dear. Is her civilized stomach not used to country foods?
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. It certainly isn’t his fault that a prehistoric man would have no concept of food quality.”
Wasn’t the Mammoth fresh?
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but then she turned and marched off to the tent she shared with Dr. Plummer. Despite his invulnerability, Clark felt a little bit colder.
Poor dear!
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Four glowing eyes shone back from the direction of the mammoth carcass, and the lights converged on a pair of hefty, lion-like creatures with enormous fangs.
You don’t leave cat food out in the open.
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One cat ignored the ruckus, investigating the organ meats that the bipeds had so helpfully piled up on the snow.
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Luthor stepped forward and grabbed the gun from Pete’s trembling hands. “You spent all of that ammo and only hit one target?!”
At least he did not hit a human?
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Clark glared at the billionaire. “It’s not like shooting cans off a fence!”
LEX: *darkly* My defense cans shoot back…
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If we run out before the rescue team finds us…”
They will have to eat a more bean-based diet and always have a spark ready?
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“What are we going to do, then?” Jimmy looked around at all four scientists. “We can’t exactly box it up and put it in the refrigerator.”
10.000 years later… Refrigerated Mammoth discovered! DelicaLex claims trademark as the world’s first supermarket chain!
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. Of course, entrusting the shotgun to anyone without Luthor’s superior aim was now out of the question, and apparently, so was the option of Luthor escorting everyone with it himself.
Lex the bathroom attendant!
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He heard Lois’s quickened heartbeat not too far from the edge of the trees, and a frown crossed his face as he realized that it was lingering out there far longer than was safe.
Umm…Clark?
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Its rapid pace might have simply been due to the cold, or it could be—as it so often was—an indication of trouble.
Mammoth isn’t for the faint of bowl.
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Either way, Clark followed the sound.
TEMPUS: Not even I could destroy a relationship as effectively as the meddling boyscout. Irony. You gotta love it.
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As he neared the woods, a drop of red on the snow caught his attention.
Oh dear. No wonder she’s prickly. CLARK: /pulls out calendar marked ‘terces’/ uh-oh.
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Her face was nearly as white as the visible puffs of her breath, and her lips were blue. She looked up at Clark, eyes widening. “Oh! Uh…”
I had no idea they had such flaming car wrecks in 10.000 BCE.
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Clark stared at her, perplexed at what had to be some weird kind of riddle.
/Points at aforementioned calendar/
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The tree rustled a bit. “This usually lasts for a few days.”
They need a better option. Hey, if she’s pregnant, it will be months before she has…a woman thing again!
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“A few—” He stopped himself from turning around. “A few days?! Lois, you are not staying here for a few days! The exposure would end you before the tigers could!”
Indeed, couldn’t they ask the nice lois-person across the big water if they could borrow some…articles.
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“I'll think of something!” Her voice grew stronger. “Women have dealt with this for thousands of years. I'll be fine.”
Either that or they were pregnant all the time and then died.
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The tree rustled again. “Well, it would be nice if you could swing by the local CostMart and get me some tampons, a bottle of pain-killers, and a double fudge crunch bar.”
JIMMY: Look, I found a chocolate bar. It’s s bit frozen but otherwise… DOC: Our rations didn’t include chocolate bars… JIMMY:
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He hadn’t realized how much he missed her sarcasm. Ever since her discovery the day before, her awkwardness around him had been more unbearable than both the barbs she used to fire at Clark and the girlish swooning she’d do over Superman.
Awwwww
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hopefully the noise of their cracking wouldn’t carry all the way to camp.
Nah, that’s just one of those cats cleaning its claws before visiting The Boy. JIMMY:
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“I’ll go talk to Dr. Plummer, and then I’ll come back with your breakfast.
CLARK: umm…just in case you ladies already have synced up …?
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. “Kent, we need you to help Pete dig through the permafrost. Don’t worry about going deep enough to bury this whole thing; we’ll be breaking it into chunks.”
You know, Superman would be really handy right about now.
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Well, she’s excused from all food-related activity, of course.
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His gaze landed on the trees behind her, and an idea began to form.
Intrigue!
Michael
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