Hi Mary!
Her Story
I did start reading His Story Part 2 first, so there’s a bit of a spoiler in there…
“And I do mean a *dress* code!”
Bruce worried that his wife likes to wear pants and capes?
In fact…the entire ballroom itself had disappeared. She now stood in a small, dingy room that looked to be some kind of storage closet.
One minute, she’d been tracking down the waiter with the veggie platter; the next, things had gone strangely blurry and everyone had disappeared!
World’s Greatest Detective not having figured out his wife’s figure will be changing and should thus provide a private server for her benefit?
Was she losing her mind?!
Pregnancy brain. Kryptonians often become delusional while pregnant. It’s why they don’t allow women to become First Lords or Elders.
Cautiously, she opened the door and peeked outside, blinking against the bright, fluorescent light.
Shouldn’t she notice she’s no longer wearing heels? Then again, neither did Clark.
Lois Lane was at her desk, of course, though her hair was shorter and she seemed much more relaxed than Claire had ever seen her.
Yes, it’s because she’s now frequently and regularly relieving her pent-up tensions and frustrations.
“LNN is using that photo I took of Superman bringing a Christmas tree to the Coates Orphanage!”
Ka-ching ka-ching.
save for one thing: she hadn’t been a guy at the time!
And why was everyone at the Planet going along with it?
It’s a new tradition. The Kryptonian December’s Fools Day.
She spun into her costume—or at least, a version of her costume—and flew out the window. There was exactly one person who could help her figure this out. If she could find him, everything would be okay.
Awwwwwww… Let’s hope she doesn’t find him cat sitting.
What did *not* make sense was his current conversation partner. Some curvy bottle-blonde with an undersized dress that exposed far too much to the elements was currently fawning all over him,
No moon worshipping going on?
/Watches as author points out the cattiness of the situation/
The bimbo cooed. “Brucie, you never told me you were friends with Superman!”
“Do you mind?!” Claire leveled a glare at the unnecessary third party.
National Whisper: Bruce Wayne – Superman’s secret lover? A blonde socialite (24.5) exposed the infamous tryst during a Christmas party…(cont. on page 3)
“Do you mind?!” Claire leveled a glare at the unnecessary third party.
The tramp raked her eyes over Claire’s body with obvious appreciation. “Not at all!”
Claire scowled at him. “Honestly, what are you even doing with her? She’s not even your type! Or does she have a doctoral thesis hidden in her cleavage? Maybe the cheap dye-job is to disguise her secret identity as Worth-Your-Time Woman!”
Jealous Claire is fun!
“Bruce, it’s me!” Claire stepped towards him and looked into his eyes, willing him to recognize her. “I’m trapped in a man’s body! I need your help!”
BRUCE: Am I being pranked? I’m going to kill Richard and Jason …
He gave her an odd look. “I…really don’t think I can help you with that.”
Yes, unless the person is able to scale tall buildings, he’s not interested.
/Points at Superman levitating/
Let me amend: A whip is mandatory.
“Of course you can!” She lowered her voice. “Come on, you’re the world’s greatest detective! If there’s anyone who can solve this mess, it’s Batman.”
“Do you honestly not remember?!” She gulped. “Luthor’s White Orchid Ball? Us? Our wedding? The cruise we were supposed to take but ended up missing completely?”
Okay, *how* did she get Batman to agree on leaving Gotham unguarded for two weeks?
BRUCE: Don’t look at me like that. She’s perfectly happy with us staying home.
His fingers brushed against something metallic. A cigarette case began to slide from his inner pocket.
He is not green-k’ing his wife, is he?
BATMAN: deranged, manic Kryptonian? You bet.
“Tell you what, how about if we make a deal?”
“I keep the K pocketed and you don’t Selina I slept with Superwoman?”
“If you can’t, then you’ll have a talk with some doctors I know. Agreed?”
She let out a breath. “Fine.”
“You have one chance.” He folded his arms, watching her through narrowed eyes. “So make it good.”
BRUCE: And then, you wouldn’t believe it, he suggested I’m Robin. So, Dr. Deter, as you can clearly see, the man’s completely delusional and requires intensive treatment.
Claire nodded. Something only she would know… Briefly, she considered holding two fingers a certain distance apart, but that wouldn’t cut it.
/Distributes water all over screen/
You know, first I read this as it being about the width of his head, poking up like bat ears. But noooo, she’s referring to bat equipment
At last, she smiled: she knew exactly what to tell him. “You hate being alone.”
Awwwwww
“Oh, no I didn’t.” She smiled serenely at him. “You asked for something only your wife would know, remember? So here it is: something you never even figured out about yourself.
He stared at her, silent. Perhaps it was her imagination, but the color seemed to have left his face.
It’s a trick he does to make the cowl more imposing.
“Meet me at the cave,” he muttered, turning to leave. “I trust you know where it is.”
“So, whoever’s behind this was able to tamper with government files.”
So, everyone and their cousin?
“Currently married to fellow reporter, Lois Lane…”
The tea spluttered, some of it going down the wrong tube.
She’s the poster-girl for independent women who ‘don’t need no man’!
Yes, but Claire’s a woman.
Lois was a good friend and a great reporter, but she would sell out her own grandmother if it meant getting a scoop.
Claire’s gonna bring the Joker to Metropolis, isn’t she?
CLAIRE: Don’t be ridiculous. I got Victor Zsazs’s number. And the Joker’s way to random.
The fact that you haven’t read about my secret identity in the Planet *proves* this whole thing is fake!”
But Lois enjoys…Superman on the ceiling more than a Pulitzer on the wall. They made a deal.
The drumming stilled. Bruce cleared his throat. “Can you describe the person you saw?”
He knows about Tempus?
BRUCE: /pulls out newsletter of known supervillains/ They used to do this about once a month, but started publishing weekly editions about two years ago.
“Sometimes when we’re investigating together, I draw whatever it is I’m using my x-ray vision to look at.” She picked up the remains of her tea from the table and downed it.
Robin doesn’t like the corner of the cave where they keep the half-nudes of Batman on the wall. Originally, Bruce kept them in the gym so he could use them to guide his training, but Robin refused to work out to the ‘bat-butt’ as he called it, staring at his face.
John Doe,” Bruce repeated. “A former politician and a Darn Nice Guy.” He blinked, shaking his head as if to clear it.
Another man arrived also: one with glasses and a very charming tie.
Oh, Claire
Well done, Mary, well done. Funny *AND adorable!
Michael
