I've been really busy writing and so have been lousy on my fdk lately. Sorry for that. Bad FoLC, bad.
I wanted you to know that I'm following your story with interest. I am glad to see that you put spaces between your paragraphs in this post. That made it much easier to read.
I also wanted to suggest something - have you thought about asking someone to "beta read" for you? They can take a look at your story first, before you post it, to help you with things like language and punctuation. I'm not offering to Beta, though, sorry, I would if I could but I simply have too much going on right now. I did see that Ambar and Madamebutterfly had offered their services. So if you want a beta, you might ask one of them.
But I really love this story. You portray the *feelings* of the characters so well.
Keep it up! Can't wait to read the next part.
-- MR
