I'm reading this one, too. I like the first person present tense viewpoint, both because it feels so immediate and because I don't do it well. I guess I'm a little jealous!
I also really like the way you're bringing in Lois's novel as a plot device. At this point, it reads like she's subconsiously (or maybe deliberately) mirroring her own life in the relationships in her book. I also like the way you're using Mayson, and how Lois seems to be moving from disgust to impatient toleration of her (probably just in time to cry real tears at Mayson's funeral).
Do keep it up! It's cute, funny, a little sexy, and very tightly written. I look forward to the last two chapters (assuming you don't find a reason to stretch it out a bit).
