Oh, Annie, this was AMAZING!
What I love about this story are the things you write, and the way you write them. Absolutely terrific.
And let me say, this is going to be one of my favorite fics (no offense anyone else, of course).
“I can’t remember the last time I was in a restaurant with booths.”
“You mean they want to let poor kids go to private schools? Ugh, why would the rich kids’ parents keep their kids there?”
“Well, Superman is okay,” Lana was saying, “but what is his deal really? I heard he gives all his profits from Superman merchandise to charity? Can you just imagine? I mean, he could be so rich.”
“Desperate words from a desperate woman. If it weren’t so pathetic, I’d be mad. But you must know you don’t stand a chance next to me. Clark would never settle for you when he could have me. Sorry, but you need to accept that.”
And the worst:
Lana is stupid
Stupid, dumb, conceited and egoist.
(Does anyone disagree??)
My favorite point:
Lois wanted to bang her head on her desk. How had this happened? She certainly didn’t want Lana to come along, but she couldn’t really say no without looking like the bad guy. But how was she supposed to shine with Lana hogging the spotlight?
After a moment of feeling sorry for herself, however, a slow grin spread across her face as she began to formulate an idea.
“Jimmy!”
Oh, this was mean
Mean and funny.
When I read that, I clapped my hands, I thought “Oh, my, this is going to be GOOD!” and then I burst out laughing.
Really really mean. I like it.
“Well, I just can’t imagine. He could live in the Hollywood Hills, hobnob with the rich and famous. Why, when I was working A Song for Ginger, I was talking to Patrick Swayze and he said-”
“Oh, were you in that movie?” Lois asked, trying desperately to refrain from rolling her eyes at Lana’s obvious name dropping. “I just saw that last weekend and I don’t recall seeing you in it.”
“Well, it was just a small part,” Lana said though gritted teeth. “But it was so much fun. And Patrick was a really great guy.”
“What part were you in?”
Lana’s eyes narrowed. “It was one of the early scenes, maybe you missed it.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. I always pay close attention to the beginning of movies. You never know when they are going to be important. Which scene was it?”
“The opening scene. But anyway-”
“Wasn’t the opening scene filmed in an L.A. mall?”
“Yes,” Lana snapped, obviously irritated. “I was a shopper. I told you it wasn’t a big part.”
“So you were an extra?”
Lana nodded tersely and Lois continued. “You were an extra, and you got to hang out with Patrick Swayze? How did that happen? My sister was an extra in a movie once and she was mad because the stars stayed locked up in their dressing rooms and didn’t even come out to sign autographs. Patrick Swayze must be a pretty nice guy if he actually hung out with you.”
“Well, I didn’t say that we actually hung out....”
“But you met him?”
“Well... I mean, I *saw* him. And Bruce said-”
“Whose Bruce?”
“The guy who operated the snack cart,” Lana mumbled.
Lois bit back her retort and watched Lana squirm. She could almost see the steam coming out of Lana’s ears.
Another mean and funny point. It made me ROTFLOLFH (Roll On The Floor Laughing Out Loud For Hours!!).
AnnaBtG. (who likes it when Lois can be so mean…/me rubbing her hands, waiting impatiently for Lana’s complete humiliation)
