<Rambling ahead>
Once I was on a bus and it was twilight, getting darker. A girl standing close to me pointed out the window and said to her boyfriend, "Look at the sun." I looked, too. The sun was hanging close to the horizon, pearly-white and softly gleaming with shades of apricot and lemon. The sky was darkening behind it. The sight was beautiful and terrible; what had happened to the sun? And then the boyfriend's voice rang out next to me: "It's not the sun, it's the moon." <End of rambling>
Barbara, do you know why I haven't replied to your story until now? Two reasons. I read this story yesterday as I was getting ready for bed, and I was really tired, and... honestly, here you give us the amazing first chapter of an amazing re-writing of the LnC pilot and then you call it Secret Fears 1/1.
1/1???? As in, this is all we get? This is finished now? I feel as lost and confused as I did back on that bus when I was staring at the moon and trying to understand how it could be the sun. Now I'm staring at that 1/1 and asking how this chapter can be a story in its entirety, when it so plainly, obviously is just the beginning of an amazing tale. I mean, Barbara, come on! What would all the Harry Potter fans say if J.K. Rowling were to publish just the very first chapter of the last book about Harry Potter and then tell everybody that, sorry folks, that's it?
Okay... I'll try to give you some feedback on what you actually wrote for us, which was Secret Fears 1/?, in case you didn't notice.
This place was too narrow for grief and sorrow.
Barbara, you and I share the predicament that we are not native English-speakers. I have never heard that expression you use, and I don't know if it exists, as such...and it's not as if
my lack of knowledge means anything, one way or another... but, damn it, the expression is beautiful. I don't know what it means, I can't picture it, but I can feel that it's magical and mysterious, and I love it.
Clark is dreaming about a woman, an unknown woman, who is nevertheless the woman he has spent his life searching for. But he is interrupted by this:
in his dreams his lips were captured in a wonderful kiss. Soft hands were trailing down his chest, stroking it and lips were placing kisses on it. He was aware of every movement of these silky hands and something landed on his stomach, making him gasp.
Clark opened his eyes, wide-awake now. He was welcomed with a warm, beautiful smile.
The woman of his dreams is there already?
“Good morning, pumpkin,” he murmured, his voice still a little drowsy, and smiled back into dark brown eyes.
“Good morning, daddy.” Becca replied, hugging Clark, who embraced the little girl.
It's a little girl!!! Clark is a daddy?
“I told you not to call me dad, Rebecca,” Clark admonished her playfully.
“I didn’t call you dad, I said daddy,” she protested.
“Rebecca!”
“Okay, I won’t do it again…daddy!” Becca promised.
Clark is not a daddy?
Clark had tried to convince her that she should call him Clark instead of daddy, because he wasn’t really her father.
No?
Becca knew that, but she refused to obey him in this case.
Well, goodness, if Clark is taking care of her she should call him daddy. (Ah... but those dark brown eyes made me think that Clark really
was her daddy. Okay, okay, I'm not arguing.)
In the kitchen Clark started preparing breakfast. He fried eggs and made coffee for himself and milk for Becca. He placed jam and bread on the table – all made the good old-fashioned way.
Please don't think I'm mocking you, Barbara, but I couldn't help giggling at the image that suddenly jumped into my head: Clark slicing the bread he has baked himself, getting the jam he has made himself, brewing the coffee he is going to drink himself and then reaching for the teats of his udder to get the milk for Rebecca that he has made himself.... (No... Don't tell me he is frying the eggs he laid himself???
)
“Oh, Becky, I know how much you hate to travel constantly. I know it’s my fault. But you’ll find friends here in no time, I promise, honey. And I’ll really do my best that this won’t happen again so soon here in Metropolis. It’s a huge city. One more freak doesn’t actually count, does he?”
Poor Rebecca! She has to move constantly, because
Clark has to move constantly, because... well, we all know why.
“You’re not a freak, daddy,” Becca stated firmly.
Aaaaawwww!!!! Becca, do you know that is the sweetest thing you could say to Clark?
“Just why do you have to do these things all the time. I thought you could control them.”
“Why did I have to have this nice little chat with the mother of that girl you’ve bullied on that playground back in Plymouth?” Clark returned the question.
“Because I couldn’t stand there and watch while she was hurting the baby-boy!”
Clark grinned at her words inwardly. The “baby-boy” had been five years old and barely younger than Becca.
Adorable!!!! Clark is constantly helping and saving people, and now Becca is following in her foster father's footsteps, super or not!
And poor Clark has money problems. I'll bet that wouldn't worry him one bit if he had had only himself to think about, but now it's different:
Clark could clearly remember his mother’s speech when he had decided to be Becca’s father. She had told him that it was risky and not easy to integrate in his life. Not only because he was young, he was also different. It had been about the first time that his mother had brought that argument.
Yes, now he has Becca to take care of. And, worst of all, he can't even go to his parents with his problems, because they advised him against taking care of Becca in the first place. Well, it's good to see that Becca loves them, and that must mean that they like Becca, too.
But why is Becca with Clark in the first place?
a young father and nice grandparents might be a better choice for Becca than old parents and a frequently traveling brother.
When Becca had been orphaned, the youth welfare office had respected the mother’s last will. Clark had had to undergo a psychological examination. When they had found that he was mature enough to take the responsibility, they had gritted their teeth and agreed to leave the little girl with Clark.
Okay, both of Becca's parents are dead, and Becca's mother wanted Clark to take care of her daughter. Hmmm, Barbara. I'd like to know more about what happened to Becca's parents, and what sort of relationship Clark had with Becca's mother.
The newsroom was busy. A few dozen people were running around or were frantically typing stories into their computers. Others were calling people, chatting with them on the phone. It was loud and crowded, obviously chaotic and strangely organized at the same time. Maybe it was comparable with a bee hive. The bees seemed to be flying around without destination, but that was only the shallow view of it. They were highly organized and so was the Daily Planet. The queen bee, which was male in this case, sat in the center of interest. The office of the editor-in-chief was across the room. From there, Mr. White saw and heard everything.
I love the beehive newsroom of the Daily Planet, with Perry as the queen bee!!!
Clark stepped down the ramp and was on the same level with the newsroom now. He walked through the reporters and felt very exposed though only some of them were really watching him. It was somehow like the dream where he went to school naked.
I simply
love the way you conjure up Clark's nervousness, discomfort and self-consciousness by comparing his walk through the Daily Planet newsroom with his dream about going to school naked.
For a brief moment time stood still. She was obviously furious, incredible and awesome. Her beauty was earth shattering, making Clark’s jaw drop instantly as he saw her. She was telling Mr. White something and it had to be an argument. But Clark didn’t hear the words; he just saw the movements of her delicate lips. Her gestures were strong enough to involve her whole body. Her eyes were like dark brown honey and they gleamed with an intense fire.
Oh, what a wonderful description of Lois!
She had the single most amazing heart beat he had ever heard.
And this line... I'll never forget it! So amazingly, incredibly Clark, collector of heart beats!!!
Oh, but poor Clark doesn't get the job. At least he can listen once more to what has instantly become his favorite sound:
To distract himself from the misery that had washed over him, Clark allowed himself a last look at that beautiful woman. He heard her heart beat which sent pleasant shivers through his spine.
A-d-o-r-a-b-l-e!!!!
“Don’t even think about it!” someone said. Clark returned to the present, startled. He looked into Jimmy’s young, smiling face.
“Think of what?” Clark asked and shook hands with Jimmy.
“Lois Lane. I don’t recall anyone of the staff members asking her out and being able to tell the story. She doesn’t date with other reporters.” Jimmy explained. “I’m Jimmy Olsen.”
“Clark Kent. Well, unfortunately I’m not a staff member,” Clark replied.
“Oh, I hope that’s not my fault, “Jimmy said sympathetically and as Clark shook his head, he continued. “ Anyway, that won’t help either. Rumors are that she doesn’t date at all. At least Cat constantly claims that.”
I love this bit of dialogue between Clark and Jimmy about Lois.
“What’s that theater story about?” Clark inquired.
“You heard?” Jimmy asked surprised.
“In Mr. White’s office,” Clark said quickly. That was a lie. He hadn’t heard a word of the argument in the editor’s office. But he could hardly tell Jimmy that. However, he had convinced the younger man. Jimmy told him what he wanted to know. When Clark left the office after their little chat, his mind was a little less depressed. He had a plan.
Well, good! Clark has a plan. He is going to get a job at the Daily Planet, bring stability and constancy to Becca's life, start carefully courting Lois, get Lois and Becca to like each other and then finally turn himself, Becca and Lois into a happy family. You bet we want to read it all, Barbara! So what is that pale and pearly orb doing masquerading as the sun? What is this first chapter of an absolutely fascinating story doing masquerading as a finished vignette? Don't torture us, Barbara! Give us the rest of this!!!
Ann
