Police Officer 1: Dr. Clurkius Jerome Kerth?
Dr Kerth: Yes?
Police Officer 2: Who is that woman over there?
Dr. Kerth: She's my fiancée, Loisa Lame.
Police officer 1: Why is she on the floor?
Police Officer 2: Why isn't she moving?
Police Officer 1: Why is she covered with ice?
Dr. Kerth: Because we were playing Ice Maiden and Mad Scientist.
Police officer 1: Give me a hand here, Billie.
Police officer 2: Okay, Willie.
Police officer 1: Wow! She sure is stiff!
Police Officer 2: Let's see if we can turn her upside down, shall we?
Dr. Kerth: Hey! You don't put my fiancée upside down! She's wearing a skirt!
Police Officer 1: Eeeeek!!!
Police Officer 2: What is it, Willie?
Police Officer 1: Look!!! Not only is she stiff...
Police Officer 2: She is a stiff!!!!
Police Officer 1: Okay, Dr. Kerth. How did your fiancée get this way?
Dr. Kerth: I had to do it! I had to save my parents! I have always been Mama's boy! And Papa's, too.
Police Officer 2: Did your fiancée threaten your parents?
Dr. Kerth: No, but some kidnappers were going to kill them unless I killed my fiancée instead!
Police Officer 1: That sounds reasonable. So you killed her?
Dr. Kerth: No, I was just going to freeze her! And then I was going to unfreeze her afterwards. With my new, experimental freeze spray. Hey, she was the one who told me I could do it!
Police Officer 2: Was it your fiancée who invented the freeze spray?
Dr. Kerth: No, goodness, no! Women are such birdbrains. No, it was I who invented it, of course!
Police Officer 1: Was your fiancée an expert on the effects of freezing on the human physiology?
Dr. Kerth: Hey, I told you she was a birdbrain!
Police Officer 2: So she wouldn't necessarily have understood what would happen to her if you froze her?
Dr. Kerth: No, but she said I had to do it anyway! She promised me it would be all right!
Police Officer 1: We understand, Dr. Kerth. Sorry to have bothered you. Do you need help to transport this dead body away?
Dr. Kerth: No, it's all right, thank you.
Police Officer 2: What? We're letting him go?
Police Officer 1: Hey, where would the world be if a man wasn't allowed to save his Mama and Papa? And where would the world be if a man was punished for obeying his fiancée?
Police officer 2: I see your point. Hey, keep your billy to yourself.
Police officer 1: I will, Billie.
<They leave>
Lena: Clurkius?
Dr. Kerth: Yes, my beautiful assistant?
Lena: Can't you play with me now that your boring fiancée is gone? Oh! She's still here. Can't you drag her into the next room or something? She's cluttering the place up.
Dr. Kerth: In a while, Lena. Let's play a bit first. Can I use my freeze spray on you, too?
Lena: I have a better idea. Let's see how deep I can put my tongue into your mouth! And you can see how deep you can put your tongue into my mouth!
Dr. Kerth: Oh, what fun, Lena!
*
*
*
*
*
Dr Kerth: You know what, Lena?
Lena: What?
Dr Kerth: Loisa told me it would be all right if I froze her.
Lena: Yes?
Dr. Kerth: She was right, you know.
Lena: Let's play that tongue game again, shall we?
************************************************************
Well, sorry about this, Sue. I just needed to express my utter disapproval of Clark for even considering freezing Lois, much less going through with it. But if we assume that his behaviour was in any way acceptable... and even if we don't accept it... this was a beautiful story. A beautiful story about a beautiful lunkhead!
Ann
