Clark Kent had a secret, of that she was quite sure. And when she had confronted him about it, accused him of keeping secrets, <he had had the nerve to agree with her!>
To say that it <wasn't> his biggest secret!
And she didn't know!
Which was a perfectly logical reason for her to be breaking into Clark's apartment.
Hah! I love her logic!
How could he not have told her? He had to know she wouldn't judge him. Much.
Too funny!
She knew Clark, Clark would be delighted with a child. He would never hide him or her away in shame. If Clark Kent had fathered a child, illegitimate or not, his desk would rival a grandmother's refrigerator. Absolutely littered with pictures.
Aaaahhh... this is an adorable mental image of Clark.
Well that answered the boxers or briefs question, she thought, a flush suffusing through her cheeks.
So why didn't you tell us?
But the clichéd razor and condom box were suspiciously absent. Pushing thoughts about the razor aside, Lois quickly ran to Clark's nightstand and threw open the drawer. If the box wasn't here…
Eh... Lois? You are an investigative reporter? Yes? Hmmm... you have this partner of yours. You see him every day. You have seen no evidence that he has a permanent girlfriend or a habit of one-night-stands. You do know, however, that he is always perfectly clean-shaven. You can find no condoms and no razor in his apartment. Which fact surprises you more? Your partner has admitted he is keeping a secret from you. What could it be? Clark Kent only does it with girls who are on the pill? He wants to get to know the girl first, so he'll have time to buy any condoms he may need? Clark Kent is completely hairless, wears a wig and fake eyebrows, and doesn't need to shave his naturally naked chin? Clark Kent is Lex Luthor? Clark Kent
can't shave using a razor, because his facial hair is too tough to mow down with some puny razor blades? Clark Kent is Superman?
Priorities, Lois. Priorities. What did you say your job was again? :rolleyes:
“We're your friends Clark, and we deserve to know about the illegitimate Clark Juniors running around!”
Perry? I'm interested in a job as an investigative reporter for the Daily Planet. What was that? You don't have an opening? Oh, trust me, Perry... you do. You do.
“And not just <any> secret, either. I want a good secret. A secret you've never told anyone else. Not even your parents
Eh... Lois? How is your short-term memory? Not five minutes ago, Clark told you this:
“Of course my parents know, Lois, what do you think?
He was talking about his secret. *The* secret. The one his parents know. Eh? Comprende?
So because you had to ask for the secret his parents
don't know, he could only tell you about his virginity!
“Ahh… Lois? About my <biggest> secret…”
Fade to season two?
No, this one
definitely needs a sequel!
Ann
P.S. Clark, don't you need to tell Lois that you have already figured out the best way to
lose your virginity... and, hmmm, that plan involves her?
