The edits helped immensely. I understood the passing references to Buffy and Stargate the first time around, but didn't get the dig about "The Powers That Be." It's much clearer now.
The thing that concerns me is that you've started a tale which seems to encompass at least three different realities (dimensions, manifestations, whatever), and my experience with such tales is that the plot and the backstory and the interaction of the realities has the potential to overwhelm the characters and their interactions. I intend to keep reading, because the tale has so much potential, but I hope that the focus is on the characters (Clark and whatever Lois gets dragged in by Mike) and not the beings which tend to exist above our mortal plane.
I've seen a number of published SF novels which garner critical praise but don't hold my interest. The highly regarded dark future and dark alternate stories of William Gibson and the far-reaching epic tales of Greg Bear come to my mind as examples. They're both excellent writers and they tell a good tale, but they both tend to lose their characters in the settings. And I'm certain that there are FOLCs who will read my comment and think, "That guy is nuts! Gibson and Bear are among the best ever! What's he been smoking?" I don't smoke, by the way. I simply prefer character-driven stories instead of action-driven stories.
While I'm almost surely in the minority in my opinion of those authors, I offer it to explain my comments, not to critique this story. As I said, I'm looking forward to reading more of it.
