Okay, I'm back.
I still missed her. So much some times.
I knew she wasn't the same... innocent girl I'd fallen in love with over the course of my lifetime.
She had changed – and so had I. I was a dad, a... husband, of sorts.
If we could manage to work things out once this was over, I wouldn't be the only one she'd ever have been with. She'd always have the memory of other guys that I'd have to... compete with or be compared to or whatever.
Though I was still saving that part of myself for only her – I wasn't sure how I'd be able to prove it to her, not without a sworn statement from Lois or something – it wasn't something that would only belong to us.
Krypton though...
Lois knew a little bit, but not much. I'd eventually tell Lana everything if we managed to work things out.
But what if we didn't work things out?
Was I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
If Lois and I divorced and then Lana and I couldn't work things out, I'd be alone. Not completely alone, of course. I'd have my parents and Christopher. But what about when Lois met someone else? When Christopher had a step-dad? What about then?
Should I just commit myself to this marriage for the rest of my life? Was this what I wanted with the rest of my life?
Not really, I admitted to myself. Part of me – a big part – still held out hope that Lana and I could work things out some day. Another part of me knew that possibility was getting smaller every day I didn't go to her and tell her the whole truth and ask her to wait for me.
Where is the 'strangle Clark' emoticon?
I see Clark as a guy who is violently at war with himself, and he doesn't even know it. Two inner Clarks are fighting for supremacy, one Clark who loves Lois and one Clark who insists he loves Lana!
And one Lana is coming up in part 75. Tell me, Carol, am I wrong? Is Lana not Lexa?
Ann
