Hi. I'm actually still reading it; haven't gotten all the way through yet. Just thought I'd comment on what I've seen so far.
I was curious when somebody in the IRC expressed a dislike of this fic...what I had read up to that point wasn't bad; the dialogue was maybe a little bit wooden in places, but even the best authors have off days etc. So what was the problem? It was then that this person pointed something out to me:
Ladies, you named your characters after yourselves.
Your fic was fine before, but now that I'm aware that I'm reading about the authors themselves, it somehow taints it. Self Insert Fic is a very tricky thing that requires Level 99+ Writing skill AND a whole slew of special circumstances to pull off. I'm sorry I can't explain very well why this is so; it's just one of the facts of fanfic.
So, I'm going to go back to reading now. I just thought you should know; your fic could probably be improved greatly by simply changing their names.
