That was absolutely harrowing. There is such a tremendous amount of pain here. But Lois and Clark also love each other so very, very, very much.
“Nor took everything from me. My position, my supporters, my desire to keep breathing.” He turned to look at his wife, the anguish in her expression mirroring what he felt. “But he couldn't take away you. I loved you. I will always love you. That was all that was left of me.”
Fresh tears fell from his wife's eyes as she fumbled to take his hand once again. She held tightly, like she was afraid to let him go. “Clark,” she whispered sadly. The room was painfully crowded, but he didn't think this would be that much easier if his therapist wasn't there.
What a wonderful declaration of love that was. And he spoke the truth, too. And Lois cries, and her tears are, to use Kal-speak from Female Hawk's story, good tears. I think.
But then there was this:
He closed his eyes and dragged his trembling hand through his hair. His mouth was dry and his throat raw, but he had to keep going, because if he didn't say this now, he had no idea when he'd get the courage to do so. “I was never tempted, but I thought about it. Not because I wanted to be with someone else, but because I wanted to die. I thought about being unfaithful because so long as there was something good left in me, I couldn't just give up and die on that damn rock.” He knew it didn't make sense. He was confessing to having considered something so terrible, right after describing how angry he'd been because his wife had thought he might have actually done it.
No, she and Clark still had a tremendous amount to talk about, but she wasn't sure how they were going to get through it. Hearing him say again how he'd given up when Nor held him prisoner tore her apart. As had his most recent confession, that he had considered infidelity…it shouldn't have been so shocking, especially given that she'd thought that very same thing. But to hear how and why he'd considered it. Her stomach turned.
Lois blinked back fresh tears as she made her first sweep over Suicide Slum. She needed some crime to fight. Or a bridge to hold up. Or a kitten to rescue from a tree. Anything to take her mind off it.
Ann
