Yes, Alt-Clark has found his Lois and is ... edited for possible spoilage by canon Lois.
And it depends on the day of the year, I guess. She *might* be a ghost.
“I don’t know for certain, Perry. Someplace safe, apparently, and cold.”
It's called his 'Fortress of Solitude' and some say it's located in the Arctic.
She never could disguise her feelings from her editor and friend. “Oh, Perry. Please, tell me he isn’t green.”
Huh.
“In the King’s name, Lois, please tell me you didn’t.”
I hope that doesn’t mean that Lex didn’t get to Clark as well.”
Silence.
“Lois, we’ll talk about your marriage to that monster another time. And I’m sure Clark’s fine. He can take care of himself. I want to explain to you something about Superman. Honey, he’s a bit naïve. He believes in truth and justice. I mean, he really believes in it. He’s not jaded like you and me.
Eeeeee...
He doesn’t believe in killing anyone, ever, for any reason.
/starts flipping through Superman-guidebook, steadfastedly ignoring black suit and cowl of the guy pictured on the cover/ Nope, it's says so right here: Creeps doing bad things to women will first be separated from their equipment and then used as target practice.
“OK. So he has a strong belief system,” she said, drying her cheeks with her sleeve. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Perry.”
“Lois, I know you. You didn’t earn the nickname ‘Hurricane Lane’ by tusseling the hair on a few men’s heads.”
She smiled. “That was a long time ago, Chief. I’m reformed, now.”
So, she's a reformed non-virgin who's just had lot's of non-virgin-interaction with Superman? Wait, how does that make her reformed?
Perry guffawed. “Right, an old married lady? That’s a load of bull hockey and you know it.”
Actually, she *is* three years older, she *is* older than the owner of the Daily Planet, and she *is* married.
Lois moaned. “But, Perry, he’s so amazing…”
“Stop! Stop, right there, Lois. Tell me nothing happened.”
She sighed. “Nothing happened,” she lied.
Hmm... yes, I'm sure 'kissing' was involved, too...
Lois sighed, again, rolling her eyes even though she was blind. “I only kissed him.”
“That’s what I want to hear. Now, we’ve talked about this, Lois. You can’t jump into bed with every Mark, Dick, and Clark.”
“Because you are my tough-as-nails reporter, Lois. You’ve been held prisoner for three plus years, subjected to who-knows-what and listen to you, worried about being thrown off the cheerleading squad, moaning about Cat teasing you, and whining about whether the quarterback will be taking you to the dance.”
That's because she's been on a three-year spa vacation with only minor inconveniences and just been thoroughly 'reformed' by a superpowered alien.
“Super strength, x-ray vision, heat vision, super cooling breath, super hearing, flying and speed.”
And, apparently, super-lovemaking-skills.
“He must be a decent guy or you wouldn’t be trying to protect him from the likes of me.”
Actually, he boinked his twin-brother's wive while she was sky-to-the-moon high and pregnant to boot. He dumped his other girlfriend after she got her face all scrambled by a bomb. And he kissed other women while engaged and *then* dumped said fiancee just because she didn't like ceiling-sleeping. Oh, and, he just boinked *another* married woman right there in the stalker-shrine he's set up for her. Yeah, he's a real charm.
