-- Continuation of Response to Michael's FDK -- /points at nuclear power plants going critical and dams releasing all the water from their reservoirs. Power grids shutting down in cascade failure. Gasoline supply stopping. Food delivery stopping. Telecommunications stopping. Civilization as we know it will end.
LOIS: So, bad? Huh?
[Postman Movie]
It’s not *that* bad.
LOIS: Oh, okay. So, not as bad as a Kevin Costner movie.
EW: /hears crickets/ Ooops?
[planet-of-the-apes-1968 movie]
Ooooh. Oooh. Eeeeh! Eeeeeh! Uuuuh.
APE: Those humans. They don’t even know how to speak.
LOIS: See, the same as today. Men acting like apes. I don't see what everyone is so worried about.
ER: [Agrees wholeheartedly with Lois that a few computer slowdowns won't destroy the world]
LOIS: I mean, it would be really stupid to put all our eggs in one basket.
[later]
LOIS:

What do you mean the microwave won't work without power?!
Maybe if she told Lex that the horndog made a pass at her in the supply closet.
CLARK: /looks worried/
LOIS: But I don't want Lex to fix Clark, but RALPH! Oh, I get it. I'll just tell him it happened on the newsroom floor, that way I'll have plenty of witnesses.
[later]
PERRY: Lois, have you met your new intern? This is Ralphalinda.
On the plus side, we’ll probably have a bright and shiny Superman story for our front page tomorrow,”
ER: Burn! (considering his previous epic fail)
Um... Whom is Cat burning, here? Lois or Clark?
ER: /cocks eyebrow/ [wonders if Lois downloaded internet porn again]
LOIS: That wasn't me!
LUCY: Don't look at me.
JIMBO: Oh, that wasn't your laptop, Lucy. Sorry, Lois.
/Eugene marks down an ‘F’ on the finals for one James Olsen/
The real reason Jimbo never finished college.
LEX: /writes Asabi a Christmas bonus/
ASABI: But, sir, you had me outsource that to...
LEX: /retracts Christmas bonus/
ASABI: Me and my big mouth.
Same goes for bombs. Only question is how much effort the programmer puts into disguising his style. Which reminds me…it’s been ages since the last guess the author challenge. Has anyone seen the clippers we use to trim Lois’s hair to an appropriate length?
LOIS: [grabs hair] Hey! I've just gotten my hair back to where it was at the beginning of this story.
Actually, they only have proof that zombies do exist.
And that blondes prefer zombies.
LOIS: I've always suspected that about blondes.
CAT: [nods in agreement]
CLARK: My fiancée was a blonde.
LOIS: Case and point.
CLARK:

Book 2 is plugging along towards a definite conclusion [it's the little story which could].
Alt-Clark: What are you calling 'little' there?