Hi Stacey
Well done for posting your first fic! You've set up something interesting here: Lois is scared of something and won't admit it, but we don't know what, and of course Clark is being protective. With cause? I assume you're going to tell us!
Laura's right, though; this is too short.
You might not be familiar with the behaviour of the voracious readers around these parts... if you don't post longer instalments, some of them might just send these little guys round your place!
A couple of suggestions, if I might. You leave extra blank lines between some new paragraphs, but not all - it makes the story easier to read if every time you have a new paragraph (and this includes where the speaker changes) you leave an extra carriage return. Second, you seem to be missing punctuation at the end of your dialogue in places - you need a comma before the " when you're going on to add 'Lois said' or something like that.
Like this:
"Of course I'm not scared," Lois insisted.
If you're a bit shaky on grammar - and let's face it, a lot of us are!
- you might find
this page helpful. It's the grammar guide on the Fanfic Archive.
Something else you might consider is advertising for a beta-reader - these are a wonderful invention! A BR reads your story for you before you post; s/he can make suggestions, help you with plot problems, catch errors before you post them
and generally act as a sounding-board.
Anyway, post more soon! I want to know if Lois is going to get into trouble, and if Clark's going to rescue her!
Wendy
