Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Finding Clark Kent (Part 2): Comments and Suggestions

Comments, thoughts, and constructive criticism, as always, are welcome here.

Also, what should Lois and Clark do next? For Lois, I'll need suggestions not only for what to do immediately, but also what to do the next day. I'm still open to any thoughts about Clark's situation.

Now, I'm going to go respond to comments from last time. (Normally, I'd have done that first, but since I'm posting this part later than I'd intended, I kind of wanted to get it posted first.)

Paul

Poll 2

TOC

Wow, Paul, you are brilliant! This was so cool to see how you incorporated the ideas of us readers - I can tell by the decisions Lois and Clark have made in this last section how the votes turned out. But you have incorporated them seemlessly - in such a way that they make very logical sense and are not "wedged" into the story in any way.

Very neat idea and so far, executed flawlessly.

OK, now I suppose you want me to offer suggestions about what happens next? I only have a couple - this part is the hardest part for me!

I think Clark needs to get his captors to talk more so that he can maybe try to place the voice of the woman. Once he knows who he is dealing with, maybe he can formulate a plan as to the best way to deal with these people.

As for Lois, hmmmm. I'd have Jimmy take a bunch of pictures of the stuff in the crates. I don't know if prescription drug bottles are labeled with manufacturing information, but assuming they are, perhaps she could use lot numbers and the like to figure out where this stuff originated. Then I'd start interviewing people.

Also, I would imagine she could connect the increase in petty gang crime with another time that this event occurred - seems like it was Intergang related. If so, I'd be visiting Mindy Church.

Maybe not the best ideas, but hey, it's all my brain can wring out.

Keep up the good work Paul. This is fun.
Lynn

very very cool... have no suggestions this time tho...

Hi,

Great part.

Too much I's or just my imagination.

Is she talking to someone?

Everyone know Clark is friends of Superman, but that don't mean that he goes to sleep in Clark apartment every night. They know Clark is Superman?

Is Luthor alive?

Is Diana Strade out of jail?


Who was the good samaritan that send the tip.

More ASAP. please.

MAF

That was great Paul!! Very clever how you included the result of the poll in the story.

What should Lois do now...hmm

First, snooping around the ship, if possible take some samples of the drugs.

Then she should think about everyone who knows/suspects that Clark is Superman (Diana Stride, Tempus...). After all someone apparently waited with kryptonite in his apartment, it is possible that it was someone who knows the connection.

Then of course track these peoples down. Where are they now (in prison, on the run?)?

Then she could think about this "secret admirer", who sent her the tip. Are there any persons who did show affection towards Lois? Maybe send a return mail and look if he/she reacts. Maybe she could get any further information this way.

I've run out of thoughts for now...

Maria, the story is written in the first person, alternately from Lois's/Clark's point of view. It is as if Lois/Clark is telling us the story. So naturally there have to be many I's.

Ines

Now you got me curious

Waiting for the poll!!

Jose

Very well written.

I assume that you don't want Lois to get caught, so I would just have her take a few samples and get the heck out of there.

Trying to get his captors to talk more sounds good.

James

Very, very smooth, Paul! You included everything we voted for and did it in great style. Brilliant!

Okay, suggestions: Clark needs to engage with his captors while still appearing sicker than he really is. Like I said before, information is power, and the more he can find out about them, the better. Also, he's tuning out that TV that's playing in the background, but maybe he should listen in and find out what it's saying - you never know, they could be watching a news channel. Oh, and he should continue trying to reach Lois telepathically - it doesn't do any harm, and it might do some good. Clark's not a quitter so I can see him being pretty tenacious in his efforts to contact her.

Lois. Hmmm. Well, who says these boxes actually contain what they say they contain? Can she see the tablets inside? Whatever, she needs to grab some samples and get them tested - they could be street drugs disguised as legitimate drugs. Make sure Jimmy gets some samples too and knows what she's planning - so if one of them gets caught, the other can continue the plan. Now, does she sneak onto the ship and have a prowl around - look for documentation and clues as to where this ship comes from and who's running it? Instinct tells me that this is a very Lois-type thing to do, but also that it's a very stupid and guaranteed-to-get-her-into-trouble thing to do.

Assuming she gets away unscathed, I'd suggest she also talk to the police about the increased gang activity - what do they know about it?

That's all I can think for now,
Yvonne

This is fun!

There's plenty of illegal traffic in legal drugs, so my suspicion is that they are what they appear to be. But yes, definitely get samples. And note if any of the labels are multilingual (since she recognized them, they must have English), which might give clues as to source(s). Also the crates might have writing on them of significance.

But while she's doing all this, she should STAY ALERT!

Good instalment. Clever use of your poll results.

As for Clark... who cares, he's the boring one. Maybe a nice wham where he really takes a hit of that kryptonite might get the gentle readers blood pressure going.

As for Lois... she definitely has to get herself in trouble. Some kind of wham that will hinder her ability to find Clark and thus make her worry that much more about him, all the while having to worry about keeping herself alive.

Let Jimmy take the 'samples' back for investigation while Lois sneaks on board the ship and 'gets into trouble'.

Wouldn't it be funny if Lois had to hide out on the ship and couldn't get off before it left port. Poor Lois, on her way out to sea while her beloved is 'lost' and possibly hurt somewhere.

Tank (who thinks the 'heat' needs to be cranked up, and the reason for Clark's capture revealed)

Oh, yes, definitely intriguing!

I agree that she should take some pictures of the labels on the drugs and take a sample or two to find out what they really are, but I do imagine that they're most likely what they seem to be.

Other than that, I have no clue. You've got me hooked and I'm just waiting for MORE!

Hazel

Paul,

Ditto what everyone else has said about the way you worked the poll results in so smoothly.

Now, what should Lois do?

Knowing Lois, she'll probably sneak on board and, as Tank suggests, end up in trouble. However, since you ask for options as to what she should do tomorrow, I'm going to assume that tomorrow does not find her tied up and gagged in the hold of the ship. So, assuming she makes it back safely tonight, here are my suggestions for what she should do tomorrow.

1 - Find out more about Otis Flannegan's death. Just because Bobby Bigmouth doesn't know more doesn't mean it is a dead-end. Call the police and see what clues they might have as to who killed Otis. (Wouldn't hurt to clue them in to the fact that the killing of a nobody sanitation worker is, in fact, linked to Superman's disappearance.)

2 - I hate to say this, and I know it won't get a single vote on the poll, but in my mind prescription drugs = FDA = Dan (call me Daniel) Scardino. I would contact Dan. Is the FDA investigating stolen or counterfeit prescription drugs? (OMG - just thought of something. Dan isn't the "secret admirer", is he? UGH!)

3 - Have Jimmy do his thing and investigate the ship. Who owns the Cost Cutter? What else can he find out about it?

These three things, in addition to what has already been suggested.

- Vicki

I have to admit that I'm wondering exactly what Lois is doing snooping around the ship with Clark missing. Sure, we all said she had to go. But she must be worried sick about Clark now that he hasn't been seen all day and no-one knows where he is and she knows the police are worried too. I could see her perhaps not spending too much more time on the ship - get Jimmy to collect whatever evidence he can and then do some research on the ship's owner, stated cargo and so on.

Lois would want to feel that she's doing whatever she can to find Clark - and as yet we've seen no evidence that the ship is in any way related to his disappearance. Now, I'm not sure what she would do next to look for him - is she so desperate yet that she'd start driving around the city searching? She would certainly think logically: she knows lead impedes his powers, so maybe he's being kept in a lead-lined room somewhere, and so maybe she would try to find out what premises in Metropolis are lined with lead?

Anyway, I'm not much use here. But I am reading eagerly!


Wendy

Once again I'm late to this party, but I wanted to add that I think you're doing a great job tying in the poll results.

Keep it coming!

~Liz

Hmm, Wendy makes a good point, about Lois going off on an investigation after realizing Clark is missing. I think we were all -- well, at least I was; I shouldn't speak for everyone -- assuming that the email was related to Clark's disappearance, but Wendy is right when she says that there is no evidence to that fact yet. Maybe you could add in something in the next section that has her hoping that it was related -- was it a coincidence that she gets this tip just as Clark/Superman disappears?

One thing I noticed also in this part is that Lois was talking to Martha about *Clark* being missing when Jimmy was standing right there. Did Jimmy make the connection? I'd think he would at least ask about it. And people will start wondering about Clark by morning, since he has now lost an entire day at work. So I think Lois needs to figure out what she's going to say about Clark, especially since she now suspects whoever it was who took him did so in Clark's apartment -- and while we now know that Clark was still in the suit when he was abducted, Lois doesn't. For all she knows, someone was out for revenge against Clark and just brought some K along as insurance.

As for the drugs, I think she needs to either take some samples or take some photos to help her do more research later. Of course, that assumes she's not about to be abducted herself.

And Clark ... my poor Clark! Not much new for him, other than he knows that they either know CK=S or knew that he'd be in Clark's apartment and that he thinks the woman sounds vaguely familiar. He needs to keep trying to place the voice (should be easier once they come back to torment-- I mean talk to him ). I, too, think he needs to keep trying to reach Lois, but if he needs motivation, the worry that these people might know his secret should provide it. If they know CK=S, and they know Clark and Lois are engaged, then Lois would be an easy and obvious target for revenge against him.

OK, not as many suggestions this time as observations and thoughts. Hope there was at least something helpful in here.

Kathy

The next poll is up! You can find it here.

I left a few things out, and explained why in the poll thread.

Whew, Kathy! You had me scared for a sec there. I was just in the middle of posting the poll when I decided to hit "refresh" one more time, just in case. There was your reply! As you said, though, they're more thoughts than suggestions, so I didn't end up having to rework the numbers. <g> I will definitely take what you said into account, tho.

In any case, I'll respond to comments later. I'm actually feeling kind of sleepy right now (unusual for me, at this hour), so I think I'll go try to take advantage of that.

Thanks to everyone who posted here for your comments and participation!

Paul

Well, the poll results are in, so I'm going to get started on writing soon. Part 3 should be up on time, with a new twist or two. Before I get to writing that, though, it seems like I should pick up where I left off a couple days ago and actually respond to comments.

I'm going to be quick, though, because I want to get as much writing done tonight as I can.

Thanks to those who complimented me on working the poll results into the story. It seemed like it was flowing well as I was writing (with one exception, which I'll get to below), but it's good to hear that you think so, too. Of course, one thing that makes it easier is that the suggestions and the voting results have been good. It's not so hard to work things in when you guys come up with natural and sensible things for them to do. Makes for a better story, too.

Now, one thing that didn't feel so good was Martha's call. It didn't feel right as I was writing it, but I couldn't figure out how to handle it better. I just kind of muddled through it. As Kathy pointed out, I made a mistake. Lois, while she didn't specifically use Clark's name, did say enough to make things look suspicious to Jimmy. Ordinarily, I'd probably go back and edit that for the archive version, but this story is different. I'm trying to consider the version I post here to be the final version. So, Lois will just have to deal with the repercussions in the next part. I would have asked for suggestions on how she should deal with it (why do the work myself when I can have you do it for me? ), but the issue came up too late to make that possible. So, I'll do my best and hopefully it'll work out.

I'm glad no one had any complaints about Bobby. I didn't want to mention this earlier (since it would have influenced voting), but he's a pet peeve of mine. He has too much information for a known snitch. So, I gave him what I thought he should have, which ended up being more limited than tradition calls for. I hope you weren't frustrated or anything by that.

Kathy also mentioned the connection (or lack thereof) between the email and Clark's disapperance. I was planning to handle that in the next section, but the way I look at it, Lois had only slightly less reason to think it might be connected than you did. She didn't know what she'd find there. For all she knew, she could have come across Clark's unconcious body being slung aboard ship like a sack of grain. Now that she's been to the pier, she has just as much reason to wonder about any possible connection as you do.

Basically, you voted for her to go there and look into it because the timing was too coincidental. The only other thing you knew that she didn't was that it was part of a story (which makes it somewhat more likely that things are connected).

In any case, you and she have your doubts now, and you'll have to see what comes of it.

I'm going to get to writing now.

Thanks again to everyone who posted comments, gave suggestions, and voted! I've been having my doubts about posting this during Kerth season, so I appreciate your encouragement and participation all the more.

Paul

Paul,
sorry I'm so late in posting
you are doing a great job
more
merry

Hi Merry. Don't worry about being late, I'm just glad you posted. Speaking of being late, sorry I didn't respond to you earlier. Thanks for your comments.

Paul