Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Comments and Suggestions: Finding Clark Kent (Part 5)

You know how it works. Comments, thoughts, speculations, suggestions... whatever you've got, it goes here.

More specifically, is there anything you think Lois should do before sneaking back out of the hospital? What should she do tomorrow? What should she look into, what else should she try? What should she do about her admirer now?

Even if you don't have suggestions, comments are always appreciated.

Off to update the TOC .

Paul

Paul, I'm really lousy at giving other writers suggestions so instead I'll just tell you that I'm really enjoying this, and definitely am looking forward to more.

Irene

Yeah, I'm useless at suggestions too! But I did like this. A lot. In particular, I liked seeing Lois's control slip when talking to J&M - it shows how worried she is about Clark.

If I have any suggestions later, I'll come back...


Wendy

AAHHHH! You stopped! And now we're supposed to figure out what she should do next??





/me recomposes self

Ok, she needs to get away from that room, and pronto. If there is a VISIBLE camera, there are likely some not-so-visible cameras too. She may have already been photographed peering in. The real question is whether the hidden ones are videoing or being viewed live by a security flunky . . . *ponders*

If it's just videotape, it's likely that once she's away from that room, she has some time -- hours, possibly more -- that she can safely look around some more. See if there are any OTHER suspicious things about.

Once she's safely out, she needs to call Sawyer. Immediately. Are there any grounds for a search warrant? Possibly. And if they act quickly enough, the cops might just find something.

Another good instalment, Paul

But, so far, everything Lois has done has been rather 'boring'. She goes someplace and looks around. Then she leaves, gets another clue, then goes someplace and looks around, then she leaves.

That's just not Lois. I know she needs to get some leads so she can find Clark, but the Lois we all know and love gets into trouble, no make that, TROUBLE.

Is she just walks out of that hospital, then the bad guys are dumber than ever. It's time for Lois to get herself into a little trouble here. Actually, she is far more likely to find Clark that way (from the 'inside' so to speak) than she is running around out in the real world. If this place is connected to Clark's captors, then if Lois gets captured, she might just find herself in a locked room next to Clarkie.

Tank (who thinks it's time Lois did what she's so good at... fall into trouble)

Wow, great section. I hope she's making as much progress as she seems to be! I'm ready to find out what's going on.

Suggestions ... first, when she gets back to the DP, I'd definitely have her (and Jimmy) investigate her email source, now that she has a name. I don't think she should go to see him, however, unless he later gives her a tip about Clark and she decides that it's worth the risk of spooking him to demand more details. But for now, I think she should investigate him without letting him know she's on to him, just to find out everything she can -- not just demographics, but where he works, who he might know, how he might be involved wtih this stuff, etc. This info should hopefully give her other leads.

Now, as for what to do tonight ... Lois seems to think entering the room after the men would be too dangerous, so I guess waiting for them to emerge could help, though she might not have the time. Could she find out a first and last name of both Rick and Mike? Maybe by somehow breaking into the admissions records (either now or later, using some Jimmy plot device magic)? That might help them figure out who these guys are. Following them into the off limits area of the hospital seems dangerous, but then again, this is Lois and we do seem to be moving towards a dramatic moment, so maybe the danger is beside the point. (EDITED to add: Yeah, what Tank said. <g>)

Assuming she gets back to the DP, she also should investigate the name on the private wing of the hospital the guys went into. Maybe he's a mad scientist who had published papers on a topic that was ridiculed, turning him bitter and vengeful, and Lois can use that to find out what they might be doing. Maybe Sam Lane even knows him, given the "turning men into aggressive, invincible fighters" angle.

As for Clark ... well, he just seems screwed, so hopefully Lois will find him soon. <g>

Hope that helps,

Kathy

Paul

WOW! An excellent part!

I think that Lois should leave the hospital at the moment. Maybe on her way out she could listen for any names particularly the doctor on duty. Jimmy and her need to return when different staff are on, so she won’t be remembered. This time she needs to be prepared to break in to the S. Rogers Memorial Wing. It’s the only way she’ll find out exactly what is going on there.
Bob Maxwell definitely needs checking out. What is his motive for emailing Lois? Why is he suddenly working for CostMart? Is he investigating Mindy Church? Will he reply to Lois’s email? Maybe Lois could have Jimmy follow Bob. Find out what he’s up to.

I’m glad that Lois phoned Martha and Jonathan. Lois’s babble about Clark is excellent. Her concern is well portrayed.

I’m thoroughly enjoying this and look forward to reading the next part.

Tricia

Good part, Paul!!

The letter to "Santa" is really good

Jose

Great part, Paul!!

I'm with Tank and Kathy here, Lois should try the more direct approach and definitely investigate this mysterious room even if this
means, she will get into trouble. After all, this is Lois, she knows how to dangle over the jaws of death and not to fall into them.
She should wait, until the two men have left, though.
Then, I suggest another direct approach. Lois should try to find Bob Maxwell and apply a little friendly pressure to find out, if he knows more.

Can't wait for the next part.

Ines

Thanks for your comments and suggestions, everyone.

Irene, I'm glad to hear you're still reading. Thanks for posting, even if you didn't have suggestions.

Wendy, I'm glad you liked it. I've been trying to write Lois with her usual tight focus, not letting herself get trapped by her emotions (she does have a tendency to sort of swallow them rather than letting herself be overwhelmed by them, especially when there's something that needs doing), but she did seem past due for a brief babbling breakdown.

Rivka, sorry about that timing. I was going to just write her out of there, but then I thought it wouldn't be fair to you. You might have some idea of something else she could do before she left. So, thanks for those.

Tank, sorry if you've been bored, but I'm glad you've been keeping up anyway. I haven't really wanted Lois to get into trouble, but, surprisingly enough, your suggestion actually will make it into this week's poll.

Kathy, thanks for your comments.

Sorry to hear that you feel ready for things to come to a close. I can't say how far along we are in the story. It all depends on what the readers have Lois do. I can say that we're past all of the (rather few) events I had preplanned. I think we're about halfway through, give or take, but I can't really say with any certainty. Basically, with the exception of those few preplanned events (I think Lex and the second email were the only two after part 1) I've been playing everything by ear. Look at the suggestions as they come in, think things through, wait for the poll, write it up, post, look at the suggestions... This isn't really a story where I can think ahead.

Thanks for your suggestions about Lois. You and Tank have given me a lot to think about on that score, but I think I'm ready now for whatever the poll throws at me.

As for Clark, I've been trying to do as much with him as I can, these last few parts, but the story was originally set up with the idea that he'd do very little after the first part. I wanted it to be Lois's investigation. So, now I have to work within the circumstances that were first set. It doesn't leave him much room to work with, but I'm trying to expand his role. It's a gradual process, though.

Tricia, thanks for your enthusiastic comments. Was definitely good to hear, especially at that point. Thanks, too, for your thoughts and suggestions.

Jose, I'm glad you liked the letter and the part in general. Thanks for posting.

Ines, thanks for your comments. Glad to hear you're still enjoying the story. Thanks also for your thoughts and suggestions.

Now, a personal note. I'm scheduled to have some testing done a week from friday. A spinal tap, actually. Intellectually I understand that it's a relatively minor and common proceedure, but I'm fairly squeamish. The years of being diabetic have gotten me over my fear of needles and blood tests, and with the more recent brain scans I've learned to be comfortable with IVs as well. Still, thinking about a tap gives me the willies. I've been trying (with varying success) not to think about it too much. I've definitely been trying not to think about the possible consequences of having a sharp bit of metal so very close to my spinal cord.

Anyway, Mom and I may be doing something (yet to be determined) to take my mind off it this weekend, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to write then. We'll see. They also said that I may not be feeling too well for a couple days afterwards, while my body replaces the fluid. Sitting up could make me dizzy, etc. On the one hand, that might mean I'll have nothing better to do than hang around with a keyboard. OTOH, it might mean that I won't really be up to writing.

So, I'm not sure if I'll be posting either of the next 2 weeks. We'll have to see, but I thought I should let you know.

Just in case, the stop time on this week\'s poll is still midnight on Friday.

Thanks again to everyone who wrote in.

Paul

Just to clarify, Paul, I wasn't saying that I was sick of the story or anything like that, rather that I was excited to find out where it was going next. I think your next comment summed up my feeling perfectly -- it *feels* to me like we are about halfway through the story, based on everything that has happened so far. And when a story is around the halfway point, generally "big things" start happening to move the plot towards the conclusion. Whether that "big thing" should be Lois getting captured or heading back to the DP to do some heavy lead-following, I'm not sure (and obviously neither are you until you see the poll results), but since this story is partially relying on the readers to help plot it, I thought it only right that I should include a suggestion about the pacing (which so far has been excellent) as well. (And remember, if we are halfway, that still means there are several more parts to go! Hardly ending the story in a hurry. )

Good luck on your tests ... we'll be thinking of you, and if we have to wait for our next story part fix, we'll try to be patient.

Kathy

Paul, I hope your tests go well and that they're not too debilitating either. We'll be thinking of you - come back soon!!


Wendy

Thanks, Kathy. That makes sense. I'm glad you cleared it up.

Still not sure about "big events," but we'll see. Getting her captured would be a big event, I'll grant you that. Don't know if the next crack in the case will really speed things up so much as just getting more information out there, but I'll keep your comments about pacing in mind.

As for the schedule, I'll do my best. In the meantime, you can review this part. There are several clues to Clark's whereabouts, if you think carefully. Maybe not enough to put it together, but certainly a start. Don't worry if you miss them, though; I'll probably review in part 6.

EDIT: I see Wendy posted while I was busy writing this, so I just wanted to come back and say thanks. I'm hoping something useful will turn up. If it does, they've got some treatments options in mind (probably immunosupressants, finally...). If not, I've got some kind of high-rez MRI scheduled next month, so maybe that'll turn something up.

Anyway, thanks to both of you for your thoughts and support.

Paul

Hi,

Great part.

Paul
sorry I'm so late in posting
I love this though
merry