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Joined: Apr 2003
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Bethy Offline OP
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 279
LYNN!!!! You're killing me here!

I love this story. It's an incredible premise, I have no idea where you're going with it, but I'm having fun for the ride. Well, I was. When I thought there was a way you were going to fix it and get Lois back for him. Please?

I love Gillian and her lack of 'awe' for Superman. I love that he's become Sam. It is really interesting how you portray his growth as he sees the changes in the village, and his guilt at not being able to use his Superness to make much difference. (Although if he starts getting guilt trips about not being able to help at all the sites of disaster, I might have to give him a smack -- remember, Clark, you can't fix everything. What you can do is more than enough!)

You've brought this new setting, as well as your original characters, to life for me -- have you been there? Done a lot of research?

Like Pam said earlier, I'm very curious as to what this title means. You will explain it eventually, right? I'd also love to know where the inspiration/idea for this one came from.

But what I'd like the most is another part. Say, oh, about...now? wink

/me pleads with adorably cute puppy dog eyes

Bethy


I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi,

Great part. smile1


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Posts: 442
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Posts: 442
Lynn, just finished playing catch-up. Your writing is wonderful. Your settings are fantastic, really drawing the reader inside. I love the way you've drawn the various inhabitants of the village.

But I really, really do not like Gillian.

She's manipulating Clark as badly as alt-Lana ever did. Good intentions notwithstanding, she dishes it out but won't take it; she scorns the idea of his allowing himself to recharge his batteries elsewhere, or even go on some kind of rudimentary patrol to see if anyone outside their (I wanted to say dalet amos, but only Rivka would understand that one) immediate vicinity needs them. She has him pathetically grateful for a pillow, or even the vaguest hints of approval for her. And Heaven forbid he should show any signs of unhappiness, or resentment -- he's clearly having a bad day, so she pushes him away. We don't need you, so there!

I won't take away from Gillian's altruism, but she's so clearly on a power trip that it hurts.

Clark's enchantment with the village also seems a bit off to me. He's traveled worldwide and he's surely been in similar spots before. Is it because Lois made him so emotionally vulnerable that his heartstrings are getting tugged so strongly?

I will say that I intend to keep reading. I'm not familiar enough with the offical marriage ceremony (the wording at mine was very different, not to mention in a different language!), but I am correct in thinking that Clark only waited long enough to hear Lex's "I do"? If so, you are clearly a member of the Wendy Richards School of Angst. wink And naturally, Clark is so far away from news and things that he won't even know about the wedding break-up, right? Or can we at least hope that Jon and Martha will call him up to let him know?

Clark is running away from not only his feelings, but his responsibilities. Surely Lois taught him better than this after Lex's tests. I don't like his behavior here, nor Gillian. Jeff I do like. smile

We obviously need a lot more very soon, Lynn, so I can start to like your main characters more! laugh

Hazel


Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.

-- Action Comics 827

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