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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269 |
Yays and nays can stay here!!!
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Interesting start to this story. Lois is uninjured and in fairly good health, voluntarily staying away for the sake of her family. When she gets back, it'll be interesting to see Lois' reaction to this Clark/Superman she's heard so much about.
Poor Clark. In this version, he's not even allowed to search for Lois, and neither is HG Wells. I do like the way Herb dropped the hint that Lois will someday show up. So Clark's left with an imaginary Lois. Wonder if this Lois meets up with his expectations?
Any idea if this will be a short, medium, or long story?
Keep up the writing!
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 47
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 47 |
Wow, I want to read more.  I loved the description you used! Talk about dropping a reader right in the middle of the jungle with Lois. Then with Clark, you could almost feel his agony. *sigh* So close and yet so far away. Post the next part soon, I'm hooked on this one and I'm not really familiar with the alternate universes...you may end up explaining it all to me through your story.  Yvette
'Irony is so ironic...'
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
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Um... what Roger and Yvette said. Interesting premise and off to an intriguing start. One minor possible nit-pick: who are the "Ma" and "Pa" that Clark thinks about -- and whose pie he is looking forward to in Smallville? If this is the original AU as seen in TA, it can't be the Kents because they are dead; is it the Langs? I could see Lana's parents wanting him to call them that when he was engaged to her. Or is it someone else -- someone important to him from the post-Kent/pre-Lois era? Just curious... More, please, at your earliest convenience. Phil
Ping! Ping!! Ping!!! -- Mother Box
She's such a chatterbox at times...
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
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Phil picked up on my concern - also, Clark never called his parents 'Ma' and 'Pa.' They were Mom and Dad.
Great start!
I'm really looking forward to more,
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Great start!  Should be fun to see Lois experience all the new stuff that's happened in 10 years. Not to mention meeting Superman! Looking forward to more. ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
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Hi, thanks for the comments. My next posting will deal with the "Ma and Pa" issues .......
Remember this is almost the current day Smallville....and one of Alt-Clark's biggest issues when he was missing Lois was his lack of a real family.......
Not dropping any real hints here but all will be made clear.
No idea how long this is going to be...I'm flying by the seat of my skirt here! HA HA
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Good!! A new story!! 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
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She had been able to read a few Brazzaville newspapers, particularly Le Choc. She liked the name of that paper because it reminded her of her love for chocolate. Funny how something so silly can remind you of home. Le chocolate. Oui oui! Simply love the above lines and the sentiment behind them. When one is in an unfamilar place which cannot be called 'home', the most mundane things will trigger a memory from the pleasurable and familiar past.
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
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Definite "yay" from me! Lois' thought babbles are wonderfully in character and you've done a great job of portraying Clark's incredible loneliness. Alt-Clark finding Alt-Lois hasn't been done anything as often as TOGOM rewrites, so keep right up with this! Looking forward to MORE! Hazel
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Great start.
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Too short but good, more. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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