First of all, let me say again how sorry I am that it took me so long to get this part out! 
But it's all finished now, this is really the final part. I will never post an unfinished story again. Sorry for the delay again! And Kae, I hope you've enjoyed your birthday story. Previously on Lost Without You: But first, he would grab a shower and some clean clothes. The smell of smoke was all around him and his suit showed some traces of the fire as well.
Changing his direction to his own place, he tried to think of ways to tell her. Should he just flat out tell her? Or lead gently up to it? Maybe do a spin? Or hover about the floor? Or some other super thing while she was watching him? Or let her figure it out?
Before he could make up his mind, however, Clark had arrived home. A small colorful bundle was hanging around the floor by his door. The bundle was making sounds that resembled sobs.
Lois!
She was at his place!
What was she doing there?
Not waiting one moment longer, he landed in front of her. He reached out for her while kneeling down. With a soft, caring voice he asked, “Lois?”
*****
Part Five When Clark didn’t answer her consistent knocking, she once again sat down on the floor and let her back rest against the door.
After what had seemed like an eternity, she had stopped crying. The tears simply hadn’t wanted to come anymore. The hurt had still been there, as well as the humiliation, but there was also determination.
She had just shared a wonderful *something* with Clark and she also thought that she knew him pretty well. Yes, Clark disappeared at the most inopportune times, but he always came back. He wouldn’t have confessed his love for her and kissed her like that if it didn’t mean something to him.
So here she was now, waiting on his doorsteps for him to come home or open that door.
Could he be inside, refusing to let her in?
Didn’t he care for her, after all?
Had she misjudged his character?
All of the sudden, the tears were back again. Not as bad as earlier, but she let out a sob now and then, wallowing in her own despair.
When she heard someone gently calling her name, she looked up. Two chocolate brown eyes looked worriedly at her. She knew those eyes, and that voice as well. He was back!
The tears stopped coming of their own volition. “Clark,” she called out while she abruptly stood up. “You’re ba -”
The man who sat in front of her wasn’t Clark at all. It was... Superman. But how? She could swear she had heard Clark call out for her. And those eyes, they were definitely Clark’s as well.
She didn’t understand it at all. What was Superman doing here anyway?
His eyes were fixed on her. Was something wrong?
Of course something was wrong! It just wasn’t any business for Superman this time. What had he been up to anyway? He smelled badly of smoke and he had some horrible stains on his suit. Obviously, he had been busy.
So what brought him to her now without even a shower?
“Let’s go inside,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.
Inside? What were they going to do inside *Clark’s* apartment?
Her mind was really spinning now with all this new information and these strange senses she was getting. It was like a puzzle she needed to solve, but she didn’t have all the pieces yet. Maybe she should talk to Superman.
In a way, she did need to talk to him as well. He needed to know she had made up her mind. She also needed to tell him she was sorry about that night so many weeks ago.
“How were you planning to get into Clark’s apartment?” she asked curiously.
He walked past her and opened the door with a key.
A *key*? Why did Superman have a key to Clark’s place? Yes, there was definitely something fishy going on and no one had bothered to let her in on what that something was.
She walked past the hero into the living room and flopped down on the couch. She was tired. Tired from all the emotions this day had churned up; tired from the unresolved puzzle; but most of all, tired from running away.
Superman took a seat in Clark’s comfy chair. She knew Clark liked to sit there if he was alone. She also knew she was staring at him. She just couldn’t help it. Her eyes wandered around his face and chest, looking for clues. He looked a bit uncomfortable under her scrutinizing gaze.
“Ehm, Lois, I think we should talk.”
“Yes?” She tried to sound as nonchalant and innocent as possible.
“About earlier...”
“Earlier?” What was he talking about? The last time she’d seen and talked to him had been months ago!
“Yeah, earlier, back in your apaaaaa-,” he trailed off.
In her apartment? “What?” She yelled before she even realized she’d said it out loud.
The puzzle pieces suddenly all fell together. The only one who’d been at her apartment the past week was Clark. He’d been there just a few hours ago. And she’d just thought outside that Superman really looked and sounded like...
“Oh my God.” She stared at him, unable to believe her own conclusion. It couldn’t be true... but still. He really looked like him. They had the same eyes, the same nose, the same mouth, the same smile... the same hair color, and if he had floppy hair, the picture was complete. “Oh God.”
“Lois, are you all right?”
All right? How could he ask her that?
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you know like that. Really, I had planned to tell you, but not like this. It’s just that the rescue went terrible and the way I’d left you. I guess I just forgot for a moment who I was. And then you were just sitting there, crying. It was too much for me and I just forgot for a moment. I’m sorry you found out like this!”
“Clark?”
“Yes?”
“No, I mean... Clark?” she asked again, still having trouble to believe everything. It felt like the roof was collapsing on her; new information flowed through her mind. Of all the things she had expected to happen, this was certainly not one of them. Clark was Superman? How?
“Yeah, it’s me, Lois.” Before she knew what was happening, he stood up, walked to the center of the living room and started to spin... until all that was left was Clark - in the clothes she’d seen him wear earlier.
Fresh tears welled up again and this time, she let them come without holding back. She’d felt so many emotions this day, and she wasn’t even sure what to feel now. Relief for knowing why Clark always ran away? Anger for having been betrayed and lied to? Happiness since he might love her after all? Confusion over dual identities? Shock about the discovery? Joy? Resentment? Hurt?
Yes, she definitely felt hurt in many ways. In fact, it described very accurately what she felt. She was pleased with the knowledge, though. Now she understood so many things from the past year. Clark’s disappearing acts, his behavior in both guises, his presumed jealousy of Lex and his behavior this last week all made sense now. But it didn’t change the fact he lied to her, deceived her and betrayed her. He’d even used her!
“Lois?”
“What?”
He kneeled in front of her again, with a very concerned look on his face. She figured she didn’t look remotely attractive right now. Feeling a bit ashamed, she focussed her eyes on her folded hand in her lap.
“Are you... okay?” he asked tentatively. “I mean, considering the circumstances?”
Lois looked up at him with tears still glistering in her eyes. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.” She managed to say before another sob escaped her.
Before she even knew it, Clark sat next to her and cradled her in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay.”
It felt really good to be in his arms again. It was safe; she was home. She knew it then; everything would be okay again, despite the bumps that would be on their road. There were even a few bumps they needed to discuss right now.
After she calmed down again, she looked Clark in his eyes. What she saw there was love - endless love for her. Yes, they’d be okay in the long run.
A weak smile worked its way to her face. “Clark?”
“Yes?”
“I think it’s time you explain yourself.”
“Yeah, you deserve that much.”
*****
He’d really hurt her. But she was here. She’d even made it to his apartment on her own free will. And now that she’d found out the truth about him, she wanted him to talk. She wasn’t running away!
She could still do that after she knew the entire story, but at least she’d know everything.
Clark started to talk about how his parents had found him in Schuster’s Field and had taken him in, about how his powers had developed during his teens and the lonely feelings that had brought up in him, about his world travels and the not fitting in anywhere. Finally, he came to the most important chapter in his life: Metropolis. So he continued on about how he fell in love with her the first second he laid eyes on her and that his love only grew as the months went by. A natural conclusion then was to turn to Luthor.
“Of course I was jealous of him, Lois. He was dating the woman of my dreams. What made matters worse, is that I also knew pretty much from the start how evil Luthor was. There was just no way I could tell you, though. I had no proof whatsoever, and you wouldn’t have believed me if I’d told you what I suspected him of.”
Lois just nodded. In fact, she hadn’t said anything since he’d started talking. All she had done was nod, made agreeing sounds, and squeezed his hand now and then.
“Superman didn’t have the proof either, and I just didn’t want to use him to get to you. It was so awkward, already. You ignored me in favor of another part of me. All I wanted you to see was *me*. The real me, not the man with superpowers. He only exists so I can help people. I, Clark, am real. I was just so afraid you’d fall for me when I told you I’m Superman and that you’d only want me because of him...” He trailed off.
“But you are him, Clark,” Lois gently said. “And I love you both.” After a short silence, she continued. “I fell in love with Superman the moment I saw him and I haven’t even tried to hide it.”
Clark just looked at her, but let her have her turn now.
“I also fell in love with you. That feeling was so unexpected and with my previous experiences fresh in mind, I thought you could only hurt me. So I ignored that feeling, Clark. Even more so when I realized I was in love with two men. I just focused on Superman. After all, even I knew he wasn’t real and mostly unattainable. I only realized it was you I wanted on my wedding day.”
Her eyes were cast on the floor again, and her voice had turned low at the mention of her wedding.
Wait, had she just said what he thought she’d said?
She still wanted *him*? After everything he’d done?
“I understand, Lois. It’s not like I made it any easier for you. I guess I should have told you earlier. I just hope you can forgive me one day,” he said apologetically.
“I think that’s possible. Not right now, but maybe in a week or a month.”
He let his face fall. That was a long time, and knowing Lois, she would put him through some hard times as well.
“Hey, don’t worry, we’ll be fine in the end. It’s just a lot to take in right now. There’s a whole new side of you I need to get familiar with.”
“Okay, I can see your point, but it still doesn’t excuse all the terrible things I said to you.”
*****
The shocking revelation was slowly sinking in.
Clark was Superman. Superman was Clark. One man, two personas. One good man, one superhero.
Well, she could do worse. She could have been married to a criminal by now... She closed her eyes, blocking the images of her ex-fiancé. He was out of her mind; she couldn’t think about him now!
Focusing back on Clark, she realized he was waiting for a response. What was it that he’d said again? Oh right, all the terrible things he’d accused her of. She knew she wasn’t a saint either.
“I said some horrible stuff too, Clark. You must hate me for what I said last week!”
“Hate you? I don’t think it’s possible for me to feel like that. I love you, nothing can change that.”
“I love you, too, Clark.”
How it happened, she didn’t know, but suddenly she was in his arms again. After a few moments, she let go of him.
“But you still can’t deny I told you Luthor was better than you.”
She saw him cringing by the memory of those words.
“Yeah, that one hurt. I still can’t figure that one out,” he replied.
“I’ll try to explain it then. But you have to remember at that point I still thought you were two different persons.”
“Okay.”
“I was mad at you, and as you should have noticed by now, I sometimes say some crazy things. That was one of them. The only things Luthor could offer me you can’t were things I don’t care about.” She stood up and started to pace. “Money, status and a boring life. With you, I get so much more. Friendship, a smart partner, my soul mate. And now, it seems I also get the flying part.” A small giggle escaped her mouth as she though about all the fun they’d have flying. That part about having Superman definitely didn’t hurt! “But with Luthor’s power, he could offer me the world.” She paused again, thinking about how best to explain this. “Clark, do you remember that night on your balcony when we discussed whether we’d rather be invisible or fly?”
“Yes.” He gave her one of his dazzling smiles.
“I said I wanted to be invisible and find out what’s behind those closed doors. Luthor showed me that. The truth is, I don’t want to know what’s there. If I need to know it, I’ll investigate. I don’t like that world.”
“So what you’re saying is that he offered you the world, a world that’s not mine, and you didn’t like it.”
“I think so.” Now that she’d got that off her chest, she went to sit next to Clark again, anxiously awaiting his response. He looked at her with a small smile and a twinkle in his eyes. What was he thinking of?
Clark slowly nodded his head. “Now you know I can offer you the world as well. What about that?”
“That’s... different.” She carefully chose her words. “You can fly me around the world, show me wonderful places, let me meet interesting people. At the same time, you’re just as normal as most people. But most important, you can make a difference. You help people when they need it. You don’t use them for your own benefit. Clark, that’s what I love about you. Your generosity, your compassion and even your stubbornness.”
A slight blush crept on his face. “I’m glad you appreciate that. And that you *chose* me.”
He lowered his head to hers. “Clark, wait!” she shrieked.
Startled, he just stared at her.
“It’s not that I don’t... you know. But there’s something else.”
“What more is there?”
“Well, I still don’t understand why you’d let me marry Lex with everything you knew.”
“Oh, I see.” He sounded somewhat defeated.
“I can forgive you a lot. I mean, I do understand why you never told me about Superman. But you could have at least said something to stop my wedding to Lex since you knew I was going to marry a murderer.”
“I’m sorry, Lois. I guess I should have told you. But as Clark, I’d told you several times and you didn’t do anything with that. Why should you have believed Superman? You threw yourself at him, I didn’t want to go through that again.”
“You really thought... Oh no!”
“Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry!”
“Sorry? Why should you be sorry?” Genuine surprise resounded in his voice.
“For leading you on, for ignoring you, for not trusting you. You were right all along and I never once listened or cared. You were my best friend and I simply didn’t believe you!”
“Don’t remind me,” he said bitterly. “I think we’re about even. I’m ready to forgive and forget, how about you?”
He cast a hopeful look her way.
“I guess so. There’s still a lot I want to know, but it can wait. We’ve wasted so much time fighting and arguing already; it’s time for something more productive.”
“Like?”
She pulled his head down and their lips met in a sweet kiss. Too soon, Clark retreated again, only to lift her off the couch onto his lap and he clamed her lips once again.
After what seemed like hours, the broke off, still clinging together.
“Did anybody ever tell you that you are a wonderful kisser, Mr. Kent?”
“I might have heard that somewhere,” he said with a sheepish grin, which earned him a poke in the chest.
“Ouch!” he exclaimed.
“Don’t pretend that hurt, Flyboy.”
He kissed her on top of her head. “You’re not bad yourself either, Ms. Lane.”
They sat together, arms around the waists and mouths exploring for some time, until Lois suddenly jumped up.
“Clark!”
“What?”
“What time is it?”
He looked around his place and focused on the alarm clock in his bedroom. “It’s nearly 4pm,” he informed her.
“Four! We better get to work then! We promised Perry a story in six hours...”
“Right. Well, I have some notes hanging around. Why don’t I go type them when you order dinner in a few? By the time dinner arrives, we will have two headlines.”
Suddenly it dawned on her what he meant. Having Clark around could prove very useful, she figured.
“So what more can you do with those powers of yours?” she asked innocent.
“Come here and I’ll show you.” With that, he pulled her to him again in another breath taking kiss. Soon, all time was forgotten again while they hovered above the sofa.
The End.
© Saskia, April 2004
