Badfic Challenge
I’m sorry. I just had to do this!! I learned tonight about intentional Badfic. And in my education, I read some intentional badfic stories that literally had me crying with laughter. I just had to take a break from all serious writing to try to do one. So thanks for bearing with me. Hopefully, if I’ve done this right, you will be rewarded for reading it by having a few giggles!
Just to clarify, I’ve intentionally tried to invoke as many rules for writing Badfic as possible. If you want to make a game of it, see how much I’ve goofed!
I think this is rated G (or maybe PG).
Mary Sue Visits the Planet – A BadFic
By Lynn M.
Perry White, the editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet, Metropolis’s number one newspaper, waited until everyone was seated around the large round conference table. A big pile of donuts was on a plate in the center of the table. He waited until everyone grabbed one but then yelled at Jimmy Olson, the office gopher, for taking the last banana cream. Banana cream donuts were Perry’s favorites. He would get really mad if someone took the last one, so everyone made sure to leave at least one for the editor-in-chief.
“OK, everyone quiet down,” Perry commanded gruffly. “I gathered you all here today to introduce you to our new intern.”
Lois Lane, the feisty raven-haired reporter, spoke up. “Geez, Perry. Why did you call us together for something so unimportant as that? I’ve got a lot of work to do!”
“Hush up, Lois,” Perry growled. “This intern is important. She’s the daughter of the Daily Planet’s owner’s golf partner. So it’s really important that we treat her with a lot of respect. I’ve decided to pair her up with you and Clark so she can get started righting some big stories.”
Clark Kent, a handsome young reporter with stylish eyeglasses, spoke up. “Uh, do you think that’s a good idea, Chief? I mean, she’s only an intern.”
“Hush up, Clark,” Perry hollered. “I’m the boss around here and what I say goes. Now, I’m going to bring her in, so you all behave.”
Susan Harris entered the room. Her long, flaming red hair swung in thick curls down her back, picking up the reflection of the fluorescent lights overhead. Everyone in the room couldn’t help noticing her trim figure, impeccably clad in a well-fitting powder blue suit with an open neck that revealed her ample cleavage. Clark and Jimmy jumped to their feet, their mouths hanging open in awe when they looked at this beautiful woman, whose brilliant sapphire eyes snapped brightly when she smiled, showing a dazzling row of perfect, white teeth.
“Hi everyone! I’m Susan Harris. Thanks so much for letting me work with all of you brilliant, talented people.” Susan’s voice was musical, just like the sound of trickling water or a soft breeze blowing through the leaves of a large, blossoming flower tree.
Lois Lane scowled. “Kissing my butt won’t get you anywhere, honey.”
Susan directed her flashing azure-blue eyes at the brown-eyed reporter. “Oh, you must be Lois Lane. I just have to tell you, you are my role model. I’ve been reading your stories in the Daily Planet ever since high school. I mean, you’re the reason I decided to become a reporter in the first place. I’m just so honored to meet you.”
Lois blushed. “Well, I guess it would be OK for you to partner with me and Clark.”
Clark rushed in helpfully. “You can sit at my desk if you want.”
Jimmy butted in. “No, I think she should sit at my desk. I already have an extra chair.”
“Oh, please, I don’t want to be any trouble.” Susan looked at the ground with a modest blush. “I don’t mind sitting by the copy machine.”
“I can show you where it is,” Jimmy offered.
Jimmy walked out of the conference room with Susan. Perry stared at Susan with a fatherly smile. Then he left the room to.
Lois stamped her foot at Clark. He looked at her, confused at why she was mad at him.
“What’s wrong, Lois?” Clark asked. He frowned at her.
“You were drooling over that girl, Clark! Don’t tell me that you didn’t.” She shouted angrily.
“Oh, Lois. Don’t worry. I was just being nice like Perry said.” Clark explained.
“Well, OK. But just don’t get to friendly with her today,” Lois demanded angrily.
Throughout the day, Susan went with Lois and Clark to investigate the story they were working on. It was a complicated expose about a high level government official that was selling top secret defense documents to a former Russian KGB agent. They had to go undercover and sneak into a secure building, but they were pleasantly surprised to learn that Susan spoke Russian and was able to help them translate when they overheard the agents making their final plans. In only a couple of hours, they had the story wrapped up.
Once when Susan was standing in the empty corridor, Clark walked by, brushing up against her intimately. The contact sent sparks of electricity between them, and Clark stopped, turning to look into her bottomless indigo eyes. “I don’t know why, but I feel so connected to you. Like we’ve known each other in another life.”
“Yes,” she whispered, her ample bosom heaving at being so close to him. “I feel it, too. Do you think we were reincarnated from another life?”
“I don’t know. But whatever it is, I have this incredible urge to kiss you.”
“Aren’t you in love with Lois?”
“Yes, but this feeling is stronger than both of us.” He leaned down, touching her pouting lips with his. Quickly the kiss deepened.
But Susan felt guilty because Lois had told her when they went to the bathroom together at lunch time that she really secretly loved Clark and was just waiting for him to tell her that he loved her first and then she would feel more comfortable expressing her feelings. It was because Lois had a really difficult time when her parents got divorced and her mom was an alchoholic, so that was the reason that Lois didn’t want to say that she loved Clark first. Because he might reject her.
So Susan pushed Clark away. “Does Lois know that you love her?” she asked helpfully.
Clark shook his head. “I don’t know if I love her anymore. I don’t think I knew what love really was until I met you. Now…I’m just so confused.”
“Oh, Clark. I want you, too. But you have to talk to Lois first. Then we can truly be together as one.”
Clark felt his eyes tearing up. He bit his lip, trying not to cry. “OK. I’ll tell her. Just promise me you’ll wait for me.”
Susan smiled a Mona Lisa type smile and looked away mysteriously. She didn’t say anything, but her look said it all.
At the end of the day, Clark and Jimmy noticed Susan standing at the elevator. Both men ran to her side.
“I have a motorcycle if you need a ride home,” Jimmy bragged loudly.
Clark pushed past Jimmy. “No, I can give you a ride.”
“Oh, boys. Please don’t fight over me,” Susan demurred. “I wouldn’t want you to ruin your friendship over me.”
Lois Lane stared at the people by the elevator, her mouth dropping open.
Jimmy insisted, “No, really. I think you should let me drive you home. My motorcycle is really cool.”
“I can top that!” Clark yanked on his tie. Then he unbuttoned his shirt. Underneath the white shirt was his bright blue Superman costume. “Look, I’m Superman! I can fly you home.”
Lois ran over to them. “Clark Kent! Why didn’t you tell me that you were Superman?”
Clark shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess it just never came up. So, Susan, do you want a lift?”
The End
