No thinking, Lois reminded herself as she finished dressing for her wedding. For once, she'd followed her heart instead of that annoying little voice in her head that always wanted to be rational and shield her from potential heartache.
She and Charlie were going to be married on the beach, the private one they'd spent many hours on since that first date. Mrs. Nolan, Joe, Charlie's landlord, a couple of others both she and Charlie liked from town, and even Melissa were going to witness their union. She would wear a simple sundress made of thin material while Charlie had chosen to wear all white: cotton pants and a button down shirt, foregoing the tank top this time. Neither would bother with shoes. The weather had grown a bit chilly as summer had started to give way to fall, but they still chose to take their vows while standing on the white sand with the crystal ocean as a back drop.
Charlie had insisted that they couldn't see one another on the day of the wedding, so he'd gone into to town to spend the night at the Donovan. Lois had wanted to protest, remind him that they'd lived together for the past few weeks and a day wouldn't make a difference. Still he insisted and she'd been so overwhelmingly happy, she had given in.
The thoughts of what they would soon face were forced from her mind as she stepped out of the small cabin and started for the beach. She wouldn't think about how much things would change once they got back to Metropolis. She wouldn't allow the guilt over marrying Charlie without revealing who he was and that she knew it to interfere with this day.
They would be married and everything else could be faced tomorrow.
This was her second chance. Right or not, she was about to marry her best friend.
The small crowd gathered greeted her with happy smiles and warm hugs. She noticed a small cabana had been erected and was told Charlie was inside dressing. She nodded and chatted until they were all told it was time to begin. A local minister, and another man Charlie had befriended, had agreed to perform the ceremony. The man smiled as Lois was told to take her place. Very untraditional, she thought as *she* awaited her groom.
Then suddenly he was there.
A gorgeous smile graced his lips as he covered the distance between them. The entire world faded into nothingness as he stepped up and gazed down into her eyes.
She could do nothing but stare.
Before her stood her future husband, her lover, her best friend, her partner... and her past.
*Clark's* clean shaven face and his neatly trimmed hair graced the perfect features of the man she'd thought she'd never see again. Although void of his glasses, *Clark* was standing before her.
Knowing she'd lived with him was one thing. Seeing it was another.
It was also too much. Tears filled her eyes just before she turned and fled.
++++
He'd known she would do it. The emotional overload would be too much for her to handle and she'd bolt. Part of him had actually looked forward to that reaction. He'd been in so much pain when Lois and had married Luthor that a small part of him wanted her to feel *something* because of it. And small part of him couldn't believe she'd actually go through with marrying Charlie King without saying something. When she'd failed to say anything, he'd decided to shock her into telling him she knew. Hopefully he'd gain an explanation as well.
He had expected surprise. But he hadn't expected the stricken expression-- the depth of the hurt that welled in her dark pools. And he hadn't expected it to hurt him as much as it had. Offering apologies to his guests and assuring them they'd return, he went after Lois.
She hadn't stopped running until she stood on the cliff overlooking the alcove and the ocean. Clark stood a few feet behind her.
"Lois?"
"How long have you had your memory back?" she asked without turning around. She faced the ocean, arms crossed over her chest.
"Since the day I asked you to marry me. I'd watched you start to change and I just couldn't take anymore. I wanted to help, but didn't know how. So, I ended up in town with a copy of your book. As I read it, everything came back."
"Did you plan to let me know?"
"I could ask the same question," he pointed out, a little stung that she was trying to turn this all around on him.
She took a deep breath before she faced him. "I wanted to get to know you. The way I didn't before. I *needed* to do that... Clark."
"And I understand that, or at least part of it. But you've been here for months. You could have said something."
"Like what? 'I'm the woman who broke your heart and that's why your can't remember who you are'? That would have gone over really well."
"As well as this deception." He couldn't stop it. All the anger, the confusion, and the pain were starting to seep to the surface.
"Now look who's talking! I've kept a secret from you for two months. You kept one for a year."
"That's different and you know it. If you know me at all, you understand my reasons for not telling you who I was. But you never lost your memory. You knew exactly who you were even if you had no idea what you were doing."
“Is that why you didn’t tell me your memory is back? Were you looking for revenge? Trying to hurt me for marrying...him?”
The him didn't have to be explained and that name had no business in their world now.
”No. I showed up as Clark Kent to do that. The same guy who tried to come to your first wedding...”
Her eyes widened and she gasped her surprise. "I never meant to hurt you the way I did."
"But you still knew it hurt me. Just like I knew part of you would be hurt today. Lois, when you chose that bastard over me, I was devastated. You didn't even have to make a romantic choice. You could have chosen our friendship and I wouldn't have been so utterly crushed. As always, you refused to listen to anyone. *You* knew all and I knew nothing. He was perfect, incapable of doing the things I said he'd done, and the hack didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Then you added salt to the wound by telling me that you loved me, would love me if I were an ordinary man. Only you'd all but slapped that ordinary man in the face. So, yeah, I wanted you to feel just a tad of what I'd felt."
"Don't you think I've agonized over those mistakes since then?"
"I don't know what to think. You claim to love me without knowing me at all. And, yes, I know part of that was my fault because I never told you who I was. But you'd worked next to me long enough to know me, if you'd chosen to do so. Instead you marry a man you didn't really like instead of facing your true feelings. Damn. If you'd wanted to marry a stranger so badly, I should have accommodated you as Superman!"
She blinked quickly, surprised by his statement, but before she could say anything, he was at it again.
"Then you stumble across a man in a sleepy little town you hadn't expected to find. Tell me, Lois, have you always known who I was?"
Lois looked away from him, unable to keep eye contact as she answered. "I've known almost from the beginning."
"Then why? Why keep it secret from me? Why not tell me the whole story so I could remember? I mean, damn!" He threw his hands up in frustration. "Do you have any idea how this feels?"
"Do you?" she spat. "I have feelings, too, you know. I was hurting when I found you. I'd looked for you the world over. It wasn't easy to remain quiet, but I thought it best to allow you to remember on your own."
"Did you? For all I know it was just some sick game to you. Look at all that happened before and tell me what I was supposed to think." He paced over closer to the cliff's edge before he faced her again. "Maybe it was an experiment. Test out all the models until you find the one you like best."
"That's not fair."
"Isn't it? Hell, you could have been comparing me the whole time. Tell me, Lois, was I better than Luthor?"
She stepped up and slapped his face as hard as she dared, not caring in the slightest that he was invulnerable. "Don't you ever place yourself in the same category with him again! What I felt for him is *nothing* like the feelings I have for you!"
"How do I know that?!" All the pain had culminated into this moment. Rationally, he knew how she felt. The day he'd asked her to marry him and they'd made love, he'd never felt such intense emotion from her as he'd felt that day. And when she'd shouted his name, *his* name-- Clark-- during her pleasure, it had been the sweetest moment of his life. She'd hadn't even realized she'd done it, hadn't known what kind of gift she'd given him. Shouting another man's name during thros of passion should have been the ultimate betrayal, but in that instance, it had been exactly what he'd needed.
He knew all this. Knew her love for him was real. As real as his was for her. And they had talked all this through, or rather Lois had with Charlie King, but still... all the pain needed to be released for good before they could move on. Clark had thought he would literally die when Lois had married Luthor and if they didn't drudge their past to the surface, he feared they'd never move beyond this point.
"Because when I cried during sex with him it wasn't because of the physical pain. It was because I realized I'd sold my soul to devil. It was because I knew I'd lost something very special and dear to me. Were you better? There is no comparison. I'd never made love until I made it with you. And when I found you again, I didn't open my mouth because I didn't want to lose you. I'd never survive it a second time." The tears spilled unbidden from her eyes as she stared at him, daring him to challenge a word she'd said.
Clark swallowed the lump in his throat and glanced away for a moment. "Then prove it. Prove it's me you love. Come back down to that beach and marry me. Promise to spend the rest of your life with me. *Me*. Clark Kent who isn't quite ordinary and who's changed from who you once knew him to be."
"I can only marry you as Clark. I can't marry Charlie because as much as love him, and I'd even selfishly thought he was the better choice because he was the easier one. I just can't live without my soul mate... and my best friend any longer."
He stepped forward and pulled some papers from his back pocket. It was the marriage license, baring the names of Lois Lane and Clark Kent. "When I asked you to marry me, I asked you to marry *me*." He lifted his hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Don't let go of my hand, baby. I can't make this walk alone."
Lois reached up to grasp him around the neck and his arms automatically surrounded her. They held each while they allowed silent tears to fall. They cried for all the mistakes they'd made-- the ones they couldn't change. They cried for the missed time, the lost love, and they cried from the found happiness, the renewed bliss.
Clark finally drew back and placed his forehead against hers. "I need you as much as I need air to breathe, lady. Together is the only way I can live now. You make me a stronger man."
"And you give me reason to live again," she told him softly. "I'd existed after you were gone, but I have never truly lived... until now."
Clark closed his eyes as he held her to his chest. Slowly, as fate had preordained, their hearts fell in sync with one another. Soul mates, destined to fall in love, despite the odds against them. Across an entire galaxy, they'd inevitably found their way together, against all odds and over all obstacles thrown in their path, they were both finally home.
