Last time...
“Lois… about our date tonight?”
His voice rumbled in his chest, and she loved how it vibrated throughout her entire being. She pressed even closer against him, feeling safer than she ever had in her entire life.
“Yeah?”
“Stay the night,’ he said, backing away slightly to make full eye contact. “Stay the night… spend the night with me…”
Part 60
She stared at him, dumbstruck for a good long moment.
When she spoke, her voice was utterly dry, and she had to clear it first before she could speak.
“You… you mean… on – on the couch?”
“No.”
“In… your bed? With… you?”
“Yes.”
Her eyes widened a bit, and she continued to look at him with that haunted expression that always made him want to hold her.
“I – I – I don’t know if – it’s… I mean - “
She stopped, took a moment, and then deeply inhaled and quickly exhaled to get some oxygen into her brain.
“I don’t know if I can – do that… I – you saw how I reacted in … um… in – in there… and – I – I actually thought I was ready – and in fact – that’s why – I lay down next to you – I was ready – or I thought – and… then – I got so scared. I’m sorry! I – I had hoped that by conquering my fear of the clone – and dealing with him – that I had kind of also conquered my fears and trauma. But… I – I was obviously wrong.“ Her voice was very small as she said that last sentence.
“I don’t want you to do anything that terrifies you. I asked because when I woke up and saw you there, next to me… it – meant more to me than I can ever tell you. It was so right having you there next to me like that… and – I – I want to feel that way again. It was so amazing. Not just the physical part, although that was beyond amazing… but the emotional part – the rightness of you, being there with me. Does that make sense? I - I crave that feeling, Lois. I’ve felt so … empty without you. Normally, I wouldn’t have even suggested it – but I think my experience with Luthor has made me see things differently. I –just wanted to say out loud what I wanted - because I almost ...well, I almost lost that chance entirely."
You almost died, you mean.
She felt a surge of tenderness for him. He was laying his heart right there on his sleeve, and yes, he had almost died. But still - her fears remained, and she couldn't just cast them off like an unwanted coat.
“I – I – felt that rightness with you too. But… I also – it was also … “ She squeezed her eyes shut in disappointment and frustration by her own inability to put the past behind her. “It was frightening. And – it still is… and – “
“I know,” he said quietly.
“I guess – yeah – you do. My panicked flight out of your bedroom could hardly have failed to have made an impression… I - I mean – are you just talking about sleeping? Just… you know – sleeping? R.E.M, and all that?”
“If that’s what you want,” he said, still keeping his voice quiet and gentle.
“But not what you…”
“No…” His voice deepened as he imagined the things he did want to do. “I don’t just want to sleep.”
The rough husky edge of his voice started building that fire in her – fueled by need and fear… it was different from her fear of Kal – that had made her sick, tense, and miserable. This apprehension almost acted as an aphrodisiac – it was a feeling being out of control – and part of her really liked it.
“What … did you want to do?”
“What we have been doing, Lois,” he said, his voice sending shivers down her spine. “But in there… instead of out here.”
“Oh,” she gasped out, losing all capacity for language. “Oh…”
“You can say no,” he said gently. “No worries. No anger, no frustration, no aggravation… I’m telling you what I want, and I’m asking… but the answer can be no.”
“I know,” she said, still breathless, her eyes locked on to his. “I’m glad … you – are telling me… what you want.”
He brought his hand up to stroke her face, once again, driving her wild by brushing his thumb against her lower lip.
Does he know how that devastates me?
“Consider it?” His voice was persuasive in its plea.
“I – um – I will. Consider it… that is…” she said, with a nervous smile. “Okay?”
“Thanks,” he said, his eyes full of warmth.
She took a deep breath to try to get her wild feelings under control.
“Okay,” she said. “We have an article to write.”
“Oh, we do? Are you going to share your byline, Ms. Lane?”
She laughed. “Do you think we should? I think that would bring the gossip mongers into our very shadow. I guess I’ll write the article,” she said, “but I’m going to need to ask you a bunch of questions.” She sobered. “Some of it might be upsetting to you.”
“It’s okay,” he said, gripping her hand. “Nothing can hurt me when I’m with you.”
Her heart flip-flopped at his comment. He trusted her so deeply, and she was still prevaricating as to whether or not she could share a bed with him for the night.
“So – what happened? Tell me how the date started…”
“Oh, you’ve been dying to ask that,” he teased her with a glint in his eyes. “Admit it!”
She smiled back, unable to hold it in. If he had challenged her like this earlier, she might have felt nervous, uncomfortable or even angry. But after all they had been through, Carissa couldn’t hurt her anymore – and she welcomed his gentle banter.
She looked at him, a solemn expression in her eyes, as she fought valiantly to keep her facial muscles from quirking her lips upwards. Think of anything unpleasant. God – think of Luthor. Think of Kal. Anything. I can’t smile!! I can’t let him win this round!
“I hardly think that I’ve been dying,” she said, with such utter perfect prim indignation, that he burst out laughing. That was her undoing, and that solemn expression gave way to delight and humor.
“Well – I met her at her place… and we drove – “
“Drove? Not flew?”
He winced. “I don’t like to fly with strangers – wait… don’t – please… don’t print that – then people will feel badly if I’d have to fly with them while saving them… but – “
“I know. I won’t. But you don’t? It bothers you?”
“Lois – as you well know…flying is intimate in many ways. And… I just – you know – we all have our own idea of personal space. It’s different with little kids – or with people who are very wounded… but otherwise… “
“Wow. I never even thought about that from your point of view. It makes sense – to save people you have to often come into close physical contact with them. I guess if someone’s really injured, you don’t really think of it as weird – you’re just taking them to help… and you’re probably horrified by their injuries more than anything else… but if it’s someone who isn’t so much hurt as just in trouble, you have to deal with coming up close and personal with people you don’t know, many you might not even like.”
“Yeah.”
“Wow… it’s always so weird to shift perspectives and really look through someone else’s eyes. Especially yours.”
“I love flying with you, by the way,” he said with a smile. “I mean – I don’t love that it upsets you – or scares you – but – I love holding you, and – “ his voice roughened a bit, and a gleam started to grow in his eyes.
She looked at him with mock severity in her expression.
“Clark Kent. If I’m going to write this article, you can’t be doing that. Okay?”
“Okay,” he said, looking down. “I’m sorry.”
She punched him lightly in the arm, not taken in by his fake-contrition.
“So then what? You drove to – “
“She drove, actually – and we went to this restaurant that she had rented out for the night.”
“If a man did that to me, I’d be totally creeped out,” she shuddered. Then, feeling a little mischevious herself, she looked at him from underneath her eyelashes. “Unless, of course… it was you.”
“Now look who’s doing it,” he said, giving her his secret-weapon devastating smile.
“No! No – I won’t be diverted! I have to stay on course! Gosh, Clark – I need to get special smile-sensitive sunglasses that darken whenever you do that so that I don’t lose all ability to function."
“Sorry, Sorry… but you started it!”
“Yes… yes, I guess I did. This time.”
“It was a little…odd… and you know – from my perspective, it made it a little easier to not have to be part of a huge media circus… but it was kind of disturbing. I didn’t feel personally threatened, but I did wonder if she had misunderstood the reason for our date. I thought I’d explained to her, back in Europe, that I didn’t really feel that way about her.”
“Because of how you felt about me?”
“Yes. I was madly in love with you – there was no way I could ever consider being with someone else romantically. And then – we were actually friends, so it almost seemed possible at that time that we could someday be something more.”
“I was already hooked as well,” she said. “I saw all those articles showing you with these beautiful people, and I wanted to scream!”
He smiled at her. “That’s good to know,” he said. “I wasn’t alone!”
“Okay. Back on track. So when you went to this restaurant – what happened?”
“She had private staff of course, intimate dinner for two – and she was being very flirtatious and trying to be oh so sophisticated in her banter. It was then, that my mind started to wander…”
“Ah – our conversation!”
“Yes!”
“Were you really so bored with her?”
“My god, Lois – I can’t even begin to tell you how bored.”
“You showed me… and yeah, you seemed really aggravated. It was gratifying from my perspective.”
“She doesn’t even hold a candle to you, Lois. In looks, charm, personality, inner strength, kindness – everything that makes you who you are – she lacks. There was never any competition, you know.”
“I know. It was all in my heart. I guess I didn’t have faith in my power to really attract you. And… I was worried being around a real woman would open your eyes.”
“It has, Lois,” he said. “You are the real woman who's opened my eyes. You’ve opened my eyes to a whole different way of looking at the world. I don’t feel like I’m alone anymore – and for me to say that… is huge.”
“Oh, Clark!”
“I drank a bit of the wine, and that’s the last thing I remember… I remember horrifying pain… and then… nothing. The next thing I knew, I was in your apartment… and it made no sense whatsoever. Somehow Luthor was trying to convince me that you had set me up – that you had poisoned me – and that you had been in cahoots with him all along to get rid of the dangerous alien.”
“Oh… my god!” Her tone was horrified. “Please tell me, you didn’t believe him!”
“No. I didn’t – I was muddled and confused… every time I tried to think of what really had happened, I got a searing headache. I’m sure Luthor had managed to leave me some strange hypnotic suggestions to make that happen. I don’t know – all I knew is that I was trapped, and in pain, and didn’t seem to be able to really wake up. It was like that for the rest of the time – until you came. I – I heard Clark talking in the other room, and I could vaguely make out what he was saying. He had actually pretended to be the clone – “
“He did? My god – what did he say? How did he – “
“Uh… well – he – he started acting all power hungry, and was kind of making fun of Luthor for being … weak, and – just in general, acted like a jerk. He had me convinced, but then Henderson broke in, and then the rest you know.”
“Wow. I mean – it’s hard to imagine Clark acting anything remotely like the clone.”
“I think it was hard for him to do. I know it would be hard for me to say those things to anyone – even if it was Luthor. I’m just glad you weren’t there to see it. I like Clark, and would hate for you to see him like that. “
“It’s okay… I would have known it was an act. God knows, I had to do my share of acting with the clone.”
“I’m still in shock that you did that… god – you must have been really scared.”
“Clark was the most upset, I think. He was just so agitated after we defeated the clone. But it’s okay. It worked… and then - you were very sick... and we brought you to STAR labs. How did all that go? From your perspective?”
Clark finished off his story by telling her all he could remember of his arrival at STAR, and his subsequent stay.
“Are you going to tell your readers that you came over, and decided to have your wicked way with me, while I lay, vulnerable and asleep, trying to heal under Dr. Klein’s wonderful sun lamps?”
“Oh. I was having my wicked way with you? That’s quite a memory you’ve got there, buddy.”
“Well, thanks – I always thought that I had a great memory – and – “ He stopped talking, as she quickly leaned in and kissed him. When she broke off, he asked, “What was that for?”
“To hush your mouth,” she said, a smile in her voice. “I think I’ll leave our … activities… out of this story.”
“Okay,” he said. “But you’ll get more readers if you print it.”
“Clark Kent, if you don’t stop teasing me, I might just call your bluff. How about those apples? I can just see the headlines… ‘Faster than a Speeding Bullet? All your questions answered.' As soon as those words were out, she flushed pink. She had crossed the line, for sure, and now, she had embarrassed herself. Instantly she felt contrite. “Uh… although…. I guess I should wait until I actually have answers…”
She was so busy looking at her feet that she didn’t even notice him moving close to her, and putting his arms around her. He didn’t really know what to say to make her feel better, so he just decided to hold her and let her work out of her state on her own.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered.
“For what?” He genuinely didn’t know.
“For being such a head-case.”
“I love you- however you are. And I don’t think you’re a ‘head-case’.”
“But this does kind of bring up a point – and that is – that we’re still hiding our relationship. This article that I write – well- I will be involved in the story. It may stir up some more … curiosity – I know that people are already buzzing about us. My dad… he’s been speculating to my mom.”
“I hope he’s okay with it,” said Clark, slightly nervously. “I guess I’ll have to face that music sooner or later.”
“My dad doesn’t bite,” she said. “I know he really likes you. I’m sure he’ll be fine with us…”
“Lois. You’re dating an – “ He stopped, horrified by what he was going to say. How could I even have forgotten about Lord Kal and her horrible experiences.
“An alien? A Kryptonian? I know. Look – Clark – I guess my parents might worry about things – knowing my past… knowing about him even… but I think that they won’t be able to not love you. Look at me… and then – there’s Lucy. She already loves you. Heck, if there had been a chance for you and her- you don’t think she would have jumped at it?”
“Thanks, Lois.”
“You see yourself as so uneligible. Which is so ironic, when you think about it. Women were willing to pay vast sums of cash for a single evening of your time.”
”A single evening is very different from a relationship - from the realities of this kind of interracial relationship.”
“I make my own life decisions,” she said firmly. “And I’ve decided to love you forever. If they have a problem with that, it’s their problem.”
“Forever?”
“Oh. Did I say… forever?” She flushed pink. “I meant… well – as long as this lasts…” My god. Talk about being pushy!
”Lois. Forever – it works for me too.” His voice was gentle as he saw her embarrassment.
She looked up, and gave him a slow smile that made his own heart skip a few beats.
“What about the rest of the world,” she said. “Is it time to go public?”
“I wouldn’t complain. The only question I have for you is – will you be introducing me as your boyfriend? Or … your fiancé?”
