Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge Challenge: Boring Fanfics

Boring? tedious? Why are you guys calling me by my nicknames! They were supposed to be a secret thing!

Anyway... Here's my tedious, non-BRed-on-purpose piece.

Thank you for being there.

Lois is in trouble. Lois locked herself out of her apartment late at night while taking the trash out. Lois leaves the trash in front of her door and goes to a phone booth on the other side of the street. From the phone booth, Lois calls the locksmith. Jimmy shows up because he is now fixing locks for extra money. Jimmy fixes the lock and Lois thanks Jimmy. Lois enters the apartment carrying the trash in. Lois goes out a second time to take the trash out. This time Lois brings a heavy book to prevent the door from closing again. Lois finally throws the trash out. Lois goes back in to sleep. Lois goes to work in the next morning. Lois gives a card to Jimmy. Jimmy opens the card and the card says 'Thank you for being there.' Jimmy gives a card to Lois. Lois opens the card and the card says. 'Service charges are $50.'

The End.

MDL (who's telling the readers who are still here. 'Thank you for being there'

Woohoo I won! mine was so boring i havent received comments!

MDL

Sorry, MDL, but you didn't win. Here's a comment:

Lots of fun!

(I don't know why I didn't spot this one earlier.)

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Superman sat down. He was tired after a long night of saving idiots who couldn't be bothered to not be in danger. It was then that the woman entered his appartment using her key. He made love with Lois as Superman.

He woke up. She was beside him. He stumbled out into the alley in pain. The girl asked if he was OK, did he need help? He bit her as his soul disapeared into the ether.

Angelus was back...

*CB falls out of her chair, giggling like mad*

Baaaaaaad!!

So I started to write something for Paul's Title Challenge (the one where we have to write a fic titled "The Super Market"), but what came out was so tedious and hideous I thought it would be better to post it here.

Feel free to provide tomatoes.

The Super Market

“Corn-flakes, check,” Lois mumbled, taking a box from the shelf, then glanced at her grocery list. “Now for the toilet paper...”

The toilet paper was at the other side of the super market. She walked across the crowded hallway and picked up a package of ten rolls. This should do for a while.

“Toilet paper, check. Next is orange juice...”

The orange juice was in the same aisle with the cornflakes. She went all the way back there and picked up one carton, then gave it some more thought and picked up another.

“Orange juice, check. Now where do I find toothpaste?”

The toothpaste wasn’t far from the toilet paper. Back again to the aisle with the hygiene products to pick up a tube.

“Toothpaste, check. Now...” She checked her grocery list again. “Right... some Double Fudge Crunch Bars...”

That was the easiest thing to remember, since she often made trips to the super market just to get some of those. They were in the aisle behind the corn-flakes and the orange juice.

And on she went, reading the grocery list and traveling around the supermarket to pick up the needed items.

The End

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Oh, this challenge is great. I especially liked Catherine's contribution. Who is that crazy old lady!

Wow TicandToc. I seriously think you win this challenge. I will admit I don't usually read the author's intro paragraph or so at the start of a story- so I was a little shocked when I read your story on the archive. Especially since I loved cloud nine. I was wondering what was going on- but didn't want to make anyone feel bad by asking why this story was so horrible- what if you had thought it was good, etc, etc. And then I read this thread. I immediately recognised the New Jersey paragraph and went to double check it was the same story. Then I saw the intro and felt pretty silly.

I love the boring stories here- but after reading the thread first- they're kinda funny in an odd ironic way, and I've been laughing at how random they are. Since I didn't read it before I read TicandToc's, I have to say that was the most horrible story- it actually made me give up on catching up on my reading and go to bed- which is why I didn't see this thread till today (this is the first free time I've had since I read that fic and gave up- my classes are getting a little nuts in prep for seniors graduating- even though that's not for about a month)

Congratulations that was a truly boring story It deserves the Tranq ending title- literally

~Toc

Brilliant, guys!


LabRat

I haven't been reading this thread, since boring fanfics seem... well, boring, you know? But Paul, I'll take your take on boredom any time:



Yes, where among the A's, Amys and Arons will you find Stephanie, Clark? I'm surprised you were able to flip to W before you started looking for Wong. Wouldn't you expect to find Wong tucked in somewhere between Aidan, Anderson, Armstrong and Arriaroggio?

So, Paul... why? Why this challenge? Probably because that was the only way someone - hi, Capes! - could make you write about Clark and the phone book. And Jensguy... thanks a billion for letting Clark have a child, so he can teach his kid the alphabet (and hopefully learn it himself while he is at it)!

By the way, Jensguy, I rather loved your fic about - how do I put it? - slightly, hmm, not exactly G-rated Superman. But, eh, who the heck (who the heaven?) is Angelus?

Ann

Angelus was the name that Angel used when he was an evil vampire, before his soul was restored and he became a good vampire.

Jensguy's snippet was a parody of the eventful moment in Buffy The Vampire Slayer when Angel slept with Buffy and - because of a gypsy curse - promptly reverted to being Angelus and pure evil.

LabRat

Glad you enjoyed, Ann.

Why the phone book? Combination of two things, actually.

One was an old episode of Batman: The Animated Series . The Joker takes over an auditorium with gas grenades. His girlfriend/assistant assures him that she can keep them occupied easily enough; with Joker's "high octane laughing gas" in their systems, they'll laugh at the phone book! She pulls out an actual phone book and starts reading the listings in a bland monotone. The audience cracks up.

That scene made an impression on me. "Phone book tired" became a new benchmark for me. It describes the state of being so loopy from lack of sleep that you might just laugh at the phone book.

The other thing that came into play was a throwaway line from one of my favorite silly/"guilty pleasures" movies, Hudson Hawk . There are two very bored security guards sitting in the monitor room. Having nothing better to do, one of them has taken to perusing the phone book.

"673 Wongs in the phone book," he tells his partner.

The other hmms thoughtfully. "Helluva lotta Wong numbers."

It's stupid, but it's fun.

Anyway, when I tried to come up with something boring yet strangely amusing, the two scenes popped to mind and kind of naturally went together. So, that's why Clark is reading the phone book, and why he's looking through all of the listings for Wong. All of which took much much longer to explain than it did to write the original thing which, really, was just a throwaway tag-on to a confused post.

As for Angelus... I see Lab managed to cover that while I was writing the rest of this (that preview window is so helpful sometimes), so I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, thanks again for the FDK, even if it was just for a stupid gag I'd all but forgotten. It's always good to know I've made someone laugh.

Paul

Ah! Thanks again for sharing, Paul. (And thanks to LabRat, for enlightening me about Angelus.)

But - Paul! I loved the joke about all the Wong numbers. Thanks for telling me that little snippet. It's just a little extra fun for a Swede. Not that Swedes in general have any trouble pronouncing the letter W correctly, but it is nevertheless true that W doesn't exist in Swedish except as a decorative letter used to prettify the graphic looks of names beginning with a V. Which is to say, too, that W in Swedish is always pronounced as V, because W in Swedish is V....

Anyway. I remember a Swedish kid who did have a bit of trouble with his pronunciation, and after learning how to pronounce "w" in Engligh, he sort of got hung up on that letter and insisted on pronouncing it wherever he saw it. So the word "wrong", for example, he pronounced as "w"-rong. I can just hear him talking about all those "w"-rong Wong numbers....

Hey, this explanation was so long and boring that I think I deserve some sort of prize for it, don't it?

Ann